My friends complain to me
They tell me their sorrows
And tear filled litanies.
I nod along and offer advice
Scowling inside.
Oh so now finally the guy you like doesn’t like you?
So no you finally get hurt?
You dare complain to me who would ****
To feel that pain to feel that love burst?
You finally feel rejected huh,
Left on the street?
Welcome to the real world *******.
Welcome to the meat.
Rotting and corroding,
sick filled heart,
That we call rejection.
Beating furiously
As a thousand bulls on the range
Feel our pain.
Now you’re alive.
How does it feel when you’re lucks ran out?
But still you have fond memories.
Kisses to look back on nostalgically
What do I have…
Well I have you.
What a friend you turned out to be.

Lie harder.
Cheat farther.
Look inside of me.
Tell me what you see.
Is that a child living there
Or is it simply the culmination of all our fears.
Is there an end
Or does it repeat in fateful trend.
Why must reality exist?
Why can’t I make my own list.

Why am I so alone.
Seems like the more girls I know,
The less I feel at home.
Because they all say such funny things,
We are all such great ******* friends.
Seriously I’m always there for them.
Whoopee for me.
But all the ladies do is talk
Talk and talk and talk.
Why won’t anyone hug?
Where is my hand to hold?

That’s why I stay up till two.
And wake up at three.
That’s why I come to school all bleary
Cheerful as can be.
Why I have to stare up at the night sky,
And find that lone star shinning
Just to start crying.

Depression darkening.
I see our sin and it is sickening.
Every story is the same.
There is only one.
And it is true.

We all have a choice.
And we all choose the samest.
Thou mayest indeed.
Making mistakes over and over again.
Nothings changing.
Just new scenery.

We eat that apple every day.
And like God I’m feeling the urge for a flood.
But I want to live in a world without Him.
Without an excuse for our actions.
Humanity is illness
For every good a thousand evils.
Even with hope peeking out in
Timshel.
We choose evil.

I choose evil too.
I’m no better.
I feel rage, bubbling inside.
The glint in my eyes as I grasp at my sister.
If only I could **** her.
But instead it’s hits I give.
She’s begging for it.

Then there is the man.
Whose face and likeness I openly mock.
And I feel my place in society.
As those above mock me.
I don’t feel much pleasure,
Though I smile and laugh.
Only empty.
With a glint in my eyes shinning.

And as I take a bite of the apple.
And knowledge comes into me,
East of Eden.
Guilt comes into me.
And I see myself in them.
Now I’m just left in the sadness of life.
And I wonder if anyone thinks like I think.
If anyone else knows what I know.
If those people are still living.
Or if we are all continually dying.

For there are people cosumed in their own darkness.
And people hiding flaws in laughs,
And  people staring in the stars seeing tears,
But can anyone see the universal.
Can anyone see the hoplessness
Of it all?

That if it was just you, you alone who was with blackness,
Then it would be better soon.
But no it’s us all,
We all are hurt.
We all hurt.

Who knows. Maybe I just do not see the saints.
Or I see them and do not understand.
To me the balance is broken.
No yin only yang.
Hell, maybe I’m broken.
No happy ending.
Only continuing.

K

Close my eyes as I write.
This emotionless screen my only light.
Straight from the heart I speak
When I tell you my heart has gone bleak.
Her eyes cast elsewhere
To a man most beneath her.
Cycle of rejection goes on.
Even when I know for a fact.
Liking someone doesn’t guarantee they like you back.
It’s hard to be friends.
It’s hard to be friends.
When she smiles.

You ever tell a lie?

Don’t lie to me.
I already know you.
You’re the same as me.

It’s funny to look in the mirror.
And see a false reflection.
Smiling back at you.

Devil’s duty or God’s grace.
Both are doomed in fate.
As the tears come down his face.

Sin beautifully.
Lie great.
Die happily.
Alone.

Then.
Wake up.

White is empty.
Good means nothing to me.
Black is everything.
The Darkness that fills me.

My yang need not a yin.
You close you’re eyes and feel.
The world. The people.
You lose you’re self,
In everything.

Make a believer out of me
I dare you.
For in faith’s greedless device
I find no solace with these mice.

I yearn for greater than god.
Knowledge everlasting
Since that tree first bore fruit I’ve been searching.

But I am no longer thirsty.
Why do I exist is a question I have never asked
The answer is pointless and in consequential.
It is White.

I am carnivorous
And my appetite is desire.
Give me you’re spoils and I’ll give you my power.
The power to be a Blacker you.


Smile.

In the ring the child screamed.
Where in the kitchen his mother and father,
I fear, were at it, now in tears.

Well who would comfort now this boy?

In the night sky a star blinked out.

The sir received the news from a stone faced
Policeman.
The madam was dead.
He was…

Well who would lay in bed with the sir at night now?

In the moonlight, one more light faded away.

The empty woman looked at the miscarriage one time.
The man who was never there was far away.
She wondered if this was good or bad…
As one lone tear trailed her face.

Well who now will make her feel even pain?

The constellations now fade faster and faster these days.

The single astronomer looked into the sky.
A frown adorned his face.
More and more of his friends were disappearing.

Well where did his smile go and who will bring it back?

The moon now shines alone.
It won in the end.

Well?