So the loneliness that once was is gone.
And in its voidness and darkness,
Love’s sweet fund,
Has banked and coined its way on.

I toil as I sweat blood,
But still I would not change a day,
Because her smile make me happier,
A lot more than I can say.

I just wanted to be held,
Well now I could.
And all that needs to be understood.
Is that’s she fine and **** and loves me like she would.

Every pain she can take,
Every imperfection she makes great.
every time I cry its cuz’ I’m not with her,
every time I sleep it’s because I’m missing her.

I don’t know how long or short this is going to be,
Cuz I don’t know how long I can try to adequately describe,
How she selflessly and selfishly is loved and gives love, and takes and she creates,
A brand new future with a united soul foreign to hate.

I don’t know how she stands me,
How she lives with my mistakes,
But god ****** don’t let anyone tell you,
That I’m not in love with her.

Je t’aime my baby Mia.

Et tu Brutus?
Betrayal of the greatest.
Just like our friend Judas.
Sat and watched you lose us.

It was a sunny day,
And the pool was all Sparklin.
We had some pizza.
Our favorite was cheese.

I was young but older than you,
Brothers we were, surrounded in a world of new.
We went outside, our first mistake,
Played around, like pirates, we would fake.

Then if just for fun…
You threw it all in, your diaper into the din,
Being your elder, I brought it back on,
So the game went, over and over.

So the die was cast, together,
As I brought your diaper out,
Of the aqua blue pool.
Who would ever know, that I was the fool.

Out of reach this time.
Out of care.
How could I protect you now,
I barely had hair…
I should have been there,
Shoulda been me,
Why did you feel,
You should be,
The one who jumped after what was lost,
The die was cast, and alone you lost.

I still remember,
Even now,
The look on your face,
Under the water’s curtain.

A look of pain,
Maybe of peace,
But mostly questioning,
In your blank debeing.
Long I sat there,
Long, I misunderstood.
Long, I called for you,
Spencer return with your hood.

Sank you did,
As did my heart.
I got my mother,
Shock tore her apart.

Still now I ponder,
Still now I wonder,
What could have been,
If you never wandered.

But the failure was mine.
I’m the big brother.
It should have been me, instead,
You fell to the Ocean’s daughter.

Now I must add myself, to this short list.
And if you find yourself asking this,
Et tu Justin, be not remiss.
For I have sinned, my brother’s last kiss.

Everywhere I go I’m lookin’ for something.
And everywhere I go no one is lookin’ for me.

I’m tired of searching for words,
This **** stupid puzzle.

You connect the dots,
In the middle find me.

***, quite respectfully,
Don’t call me honey.

You don’t know me,
You don’t hold me softly.

I can’t hear your light whispers,
As I drift to sleep peacefully.

You never gave a ****,
Never did.

Everywhere might as well be nowhere.
Because there is no light in this life.

I’m trapped in the dark,
And for years countless I’ve been searching for the end of the tunnel.

But no one’s calling my name,
No one’s put on a search for me.

I guess its all just part of the game,
Only recently have I figured why it was called that.

Everyone is trippin’ and trickin’ and hurtin’ each other,
Cuz’ we all wanna be in love with one another.

Oh well, I think I’ll just sit for a bit,
Lie here and rest a minute.

When did it get so dark, cold and late?
Before I’d been young I was already old.

Goodnight.

Wonders,

Have you ever got lost in the sunset while driving,
Just looking at the beautiful oranges and reds,
Burning in the sky,
Coloring the clouds a dark purple,
And lighting fire in to the clouds.

Have you simply turned your head out the window,
And look at all the leaves on the trees,
With all their colors,
With all their details,
As the light shines so brightly on them?

Have you ever felt completely happy,
Looking at this nature we use so blindly?
Even as you are burning the fuel, that makes its future unlikely?
I wonder if any of you can see what I can see.

Its wondrous if maybe you’d just take a look,
Even through a window, even through the shield,
Its all so beautiful to me.

I wonder if there’s another universe out there…
I wonder if the end isn’t really the end but the beginning.
I wonder if this life’s been lived before, and will be lived again.

I ponder if my life has any meaning,
Or if I’m just part of some game.
I question whether God exists, or if he’s just a good liar.

I shudder to think about tomorrow,
It’s easier to forget yesterday.
Have you ever felt this way?

Why can’t it just be that that what always was was.
Why does their have to be a beginning?
Who must there be black and white,
When there’s a rainbow of possibilities out there.

I wish I could wish upon a star,
But no one looks at the night sky.
Its long gone by a people who’ve long forgotten it.

Why does age have to be more than a number?
People get judged for so much they can’t control.
And I know, because I am the executioner.

And past all this, I’m just living.
And I wish I was a better person.
Someone worthy.

Life isn’t really something you could call good.
For just about every one, it *****.
But sometimes, even when I can’t hear her.
I just zone out and look at her eyes,
Watch her talk, watching her smile.
Looking at those beautiful lights.
And I can’t smell it,
But I’m imagining the smell of her hair.
She’s talking so softly,
He words cushioning me from pain loftly,
And I want…
No, I don’t want anything else.
This is enough.

Always make tomorrow a better day,
Things are never the same,
Yesterday is always changing,
There is no past and the present is already gone,
But there’s always tomorrow,
So make it a better day.

Old men givin’ me advice,
Young me ain’t listenin’,
But I’m always teachin’, always preachin’
It’s not bad yet, it’s going to get worse.
Can’t I just be happy, let myself go a lil’?

So I’m talking to all these ladies,
Playin’ Russian roulette,
And I’m thinking’ if I got enough bullets,
One’s bound to hit me.
And maybe I’m right, maybe I’m wrong, cuz’ by now its history.

The Lady asked me as I shared with her my troubles,
‘What are you going to do to make yourself happy?’
I stared there forever, astounded by such a blatant question,
Askin’ myself “what am I going to do?”
I didn’t know as I don’t know then.

Can you figure it for me?
Help me and rescue me?
Cuz’ I’m oh so tired of trying,
This life it feels worse than dying,
When you are all alone.

Pour me a drink, it’s last call.
I can see Satan down the hall, well then I’ll be in hell.
But its okay, I guess,
Could be worse, could have been in thirst,
Except maybe I was, starving this whole time, in the soul.