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I took the pills two by two.
Three-thousand, six-hundred milligrams so true, so true.
My body, my mind, their taking control.
My feelings my touch, begin to fade, begin to go.
Six of them I took, some more, some more..
valumes I popped, I'm on the floor.
My knee's are weak and my mind is clear, nothing but pills, the pills are here.
I fear they'll take me, fear that I'll fail and fall.
But on the pills I don't care at all.
Popping them,
loving them,
I'm not letting them go,
my addiction and submission of the friends I now know.
I took the pills, two by ******* two.
I took them all.
Beauty strangles the beautiful.
Ugly stains their hearts.
The taste of expensive living and style has been the medicine to your lost time and confusion.
My thoughts like a atom, bouncing around in it's concealed wall, in a prison.
The only light I have is the light to my window.
The tiny window I peer out every so often to get a glimpse of true beauty.
The nature is breathless.
The timing is inevitable.
The day is perfect.
Nobody can hear me.
Only the wind and the clouds be my guide.
Only a gravel path to set me to a potential free.
I'm killing angels to find me, I'm promising my soul to the devil behind Me.
Come on God try and find Me.
I'm all alone.
I'm hiding, I'm hiding.
Sweat is dripping, time is ticking, the night is thickening, very thickening.
Rhythm of the hearts beat sway back and fourth, sharing off the same song.
The smell of burning desire in the air, the taste now lingers in my mind.
Timid are my movements and insecure are my actions.
With this there was no satisfaction.
In your laughter and in your smile, I found nothing but hollow promises.
I found nothing..
Sweat is dripping, time is ticking, the night is thickening, very thickening.
She is the sunrise,
her smile being the radiant sun that grow out from the crisp winter-day and into the beautiful sky of sparkling snow-flakes.
Her sunshine covered my darkness and filled me with warmth.
But when she left, darkness crept back into my cold world.
It claimed me, the loneliness.
Something I fought so hard to forget.
Something I never wanted to face again.
She was the sunrise.
Now she's my darkest days.
Today coldness is never ending.
My body is falling, descending, descending.
Treading deeper into the darkness of an elixir's path,
treading closer to the aftermath.
This is where the wicked and weak stay,
in the empty darkness where lovers lay.
Today coldness is never ending.
Who could know or even begin to question a situation like this?
A sensation of such bliss, penetrating my so called sadness, this so called sadness.
Expressions shared between you and me, both just longing to be nurtured and free.
Now tearing down the invisible walls that we built and burrow in.
I'm feeling these feelings of passion once again, wanting the company of my toxic nitro glycerin.
Her smiles are doubtful and forces a frown upon me, but I hold my smile so I can show you I'm happy.
Finally so happy.
While the beating in my heart, I can't ignore no more.
I'm going to kiss you like I use to once before.
To put ease to this horror that I live for,
she that I live for.
My sensational horror
Lust with your hurt, live with your lies.
Kiss with secrets, crawl to survive.
We are living, we are alive.
Tormenting me slowly, tearing me apart.
You stole something from me and it was my heart.
It took you three days to break down the walls.
On the tenth you burned down the whole town.
Hour one without you, did you think I would doubt you?
With my heart in your pocket and my soul lay at your feet. I’m reckless.
I don’t think we knew anything about love; we were just scared to be alone at the time.
You were my rock and I was your shield.
Keeping us both safe in the comfort that the both of us were there.
You took everything you could get, and left me with nothing.
Nothing is all I ever got in return from you.
You used me.
That’s all I ever felt I was there for, is that all I could have ever been, is there?
I tried my hardest, and I understand it’s not my fault, but I have no problem taking the blame, just for you.
It’s not the length that I walked for you, It’s just you let me go miles before telling me goodbye.
I know that I walked the distance, but I never knew, what could have happened if I would have just ran them?
I’m sorry I’m not fast enough to make everything better, just believe in me.
I don’t want to be like this, I don’t want to hurt no more.
(Its 5:34 and you’re not here.)
Today I’ve learned something especially from you, that I’m my own worst enemy.
So I’ll turn the infantry against me, and I’ll just let them shoot.
I’ll let the war wear down inside me, but never is the fight over.
The war is just beginning to turn into internal peace.
Within I am learning to be happy, so I can be happy again.
Vague is the feeling, dark is the delight, feared is the memory of your cold dead sight.
Your love was killed by the twisted moonlight.
I remember hazel brown eyes reversed into a song, a Melodie of skies.
I can see the colors now burst in the air and up above so tender was the forbidden love.
I now ponder in amazement towards the moonlight sky.
An embrious scatter of stars lay in the earths bound movement, slowly, cautiously I begin to wonder.
But only to the moonlight dancer.
I have heard your voice and I have seen your face, but only for it to bring back a tattered trace.
I remember when all was good.
I remember when you use to love me the way that you should.
I watched you walk away slowly with these words only a trickle on my tongue.
With a "good...bye" your voice had rung.
Those words lay pasted down to my heart and glued.
Moonlight dancer come back to my hand, moonlight dancer take me to your rythmatic land, moonlight dancer take my hand.
Her coldness piercing my heart, her absence tore me apart, and now her funeral to only end me.
Please come back and defend me.
Slowly the blade slit across my wrist in a song like structure.
I let the music flow down from the wound, and now my mind it will consume.
I'm lost and in love by moonlight dancers song.
Where else could I have gone wrong?
Moonlight dancer come back to my hand, moonlight dancer take me to your rythmatic land, moonlight dancer take my hand.
Moonlight dancer just please breath once again.
Moonlight dancer?
My brain and my mind are a vendetta
truly my Achilles heel
they lash at my soul fiercely
to take refuge is only to kneel
my cries for help are coarse
a slew of inevitable babbles
for the Armageddon loathes help
turning speech and thought into mindless scrabble
my consciousness was exiled from my brain
to my mind it was abandoned
for the benefactor manipulates with perfection
its victims never at random
if i don't repossess them soon
I'm bound to end up in a bedlam
squawking the misfortunes of my odyssey
I'm a poor helpless ***
Time to change my life, thoughts and visions?
Time to change my surroundings, peers and pleasures?
Yes, Its time for a change?
Fighting for each breath and the courage to get out of bed
Fighting each miserable thought that pops into my head
Its getting real old holding onto everything
That nobody knows
Its 4:10 pm..  and I cant even muster the energy
To change out of yesterdays clothes
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