everything is logistics
the mundane to the mystic
plans be ******
you cant wish yourself
all the way
set the target
already missed it
stamp your feet and try to insist
you werent educated in an inner city
in a state of decay

i stand alone

in a sea of same

one of them

i loved you like you wouldnt believe
when i lost you i was on my knees
with my future torn away
on a breeze that had become a storm
you were my kite
you had me flying
propelling me forward without trying
lifting me up with a grace and an ease
that belied the load
you have the heart of a lion
wanted what was yours from the moment you arrived
on my doorstep
i was sure that you were mine
because you showed me so
now youre in my thoughts as i lay dying
forever more
until the end of my time
forever yours
next time around ill come and find you
never let you go

big man
brought low
noone to be
nowhere to go
no way of getting there
eating his crow
locked in locked down
knows a way out though

they are us
and we are all
and what makes us the same
are our differences
until we can see that
we are parts of a whole
we will never be healed
of this sickness

even the most contrary die
though with a smile on their face
and a fire in their eyes
that burns on

drunk all the time
balancing out
banging lines
too tired to be trying
to be patient
in work as in life
all alone
or with the wife
on a path
to a situation vacant

I need to leave
my rage
at my feet
in the dirt
beneath me
release
to make peace
with my being ceasing
defer to deaths wish
instead of trying to beat it
submission the difference
between clawing and easing
my way into my grave

when youre in a fight
youre in a fight
dont stop swinging
any chance to breathe
gives your enemy
a chance to beat you
if you come in waves
defeat lays wait
within the spaces
attack your foe
as tsunami
as one
to wash away all traces

if you could ask icarus
of his time in the sun
his story would be as labyrinthine
as the tales his father spun
he didnt fall
he didnt drown
his every battle won
his hypocrisy and his hubris
make him heavens chosen son

waiting ******* shaking in the gents
breakfast coming back up
with all the courage that ive drank
setting up the kit on rubber legs
no words of encouragement
can make this fright any less
sit upon the throne
the whole world changes
now i am the drums
about to make the place my slave
cant hide
all eyes looking my way
loudest ******* in the building
beating his chest and making waves

biting the hand that feeds me
is the nature of the beast that eats at me
raging caged within it beats self defeatingly
gnawing at its paw

i hope with no hope
that this end isnt mine
that im at a beginning
a reset in time
but when faced with reality
when i open my eyes
every day has been a loss to me
wasted life

it was a false dawn
on a dark day
the last time i saw you
what i thought were stars
falling like rain
were tears with wishes
washing through them
as you walked away
nothing i could say
could turn you
from the path youd chosen
loved to watch you leave
when you were coming back to me
eternal truth
until it wasnt

im hurting
none of it is the pain
excruciatingly
all the same
because of me
the people i care for
are fearful
dying is killing
in my name

same people sell the cures
sell the sickness
doctors are no more than ******
doing business
jacks of all trade
expect respect as masters
for their monopolised aid
Im sick of the *******

ignorance
is the font of originality
from which necessity sups
thus suckling us
infusing music unique
the names of the notes
superfluous
no education no emulating
nothing not ours is good enough
self bias raised
everything to gain
giving everything
make a tape of the songs
demo #1
then its on scene

the wisdom of crowds
suggests he who shouts loudest
and asks no questions
speaks for all

because i wanted it
it wasnt for me
nothing i ever wanted
came to be
i wish i believed
in something
anything
i could have faked
until i made it
more real than this reality
ive faced my fears and beaten them
in turn taken a battering
far from fearless
shed my tears
alone in aftermaths
repeatedly
now the ends approaching fast
forcing my hand again
necessity
my mother taught me that
invent after the fact
face your enemy
and try to make a new friend

i swore i would remember you forever and i did
i see you clear as day in my mind as i write this
what i saw in you the first time i saw you still shines
undiminished by the imposition of distance and time
when i saw you stride toward me with your head up
you were glorious
your golden hair was flowing like a molten halo
from the shoulders down you were a vision of male wish fulfilment
perfectly lit
your face radiated
glowing from within
and though those eyes
that smile
were blinding
i couldnt look away if i were trying
all i wanted was to bathe in your glowing presence
of all the women in my past
i always wished you were the last
and that that first kiss had lasted til the present