how long should you go on when the life you live is gone
when youve fought hard and youve fallen hard
is getting up again wrong
starting again at the end makes no sense to me
but then living was nonsense all along
logic keeps telling me life doesnt want me
while life keeps giving me something rotten to gnaw on

i feel the dawn
as a living thing
invigorating
the new life
stillborn by dusk

look at the clutter we are living in
every part of it bought and paid for
have to work hard to afford it
making more of it to buy and pay for
whats it for why are we hoarding it
to be surrounded by this **** we scrape for
sold on being told we need more of it
so we supply the time to make more
so we can pay more for it

let me tell you a secret
there are no secrets
only things you cannot know

she seemed to see him
as this big broken bear
that would cuddle and protect her
while she redid the stuffing
sewed back that wandering button eye
never noting the broken
or the bear

when the demons you were fighting
have become your only friends
the hell that you inhabit your only wall
against the winter wind
the line you swore youd never cross
worn flat from trespassing
them taking what you havent got
could be a mixed blessing

or a massacre

im not afraid of what i think is out there
im afraid of what i know is in me
i cant promise a peaceful outcome
when bureaucracy meets suicidal antisocial nonconformity

crawl to the gallows
or go swimming with the sharks in the shallows
dig deep for the hard place
hollow out the marrow
while the rocks keep piling up
building my barrow

lessons cost

the bill is mine to pay

loss has taught me more
than all the education
i could ever assimilate

you have to pay the piper

for the melody

but you dont get to second guess
when the dirge is delivered
in a flat minor key

you just do your dance

and you pay the fee

i dont know what you thought
you were in for
but equality means being ignored
when your pleas fall on deaf ears
you will know you have found your reward
congratulations
welcome aboard

**** happens
but one day youll look up
unless youve buried your head in the sand for so long
sediment has made it your grave
then **** happens

Im struggling to keep the pain within
showing its hated pitiful face to the world
while the raging storm swirls around me
I in the eye am utterly calm
be very afraid

reiteration is the basis of everything
the most perfect creations replaced inevitably
as taste, styles and the people that make them cease to be
then they themselves remade to replace themselves equally
but better
allegedly

the noose hes holding on to
is the rope that stops him drowning
balanced on the razors edge
of someone elses understanding
of how to stop a scrambled egg
standing in the fire surrounding
the frying pan hes made his bed in
but wont lie down and die in in silence
from spitting in their eye

pray take your paper morals
pay the piper for his troubles
you cast your bread upon the waters
to watch your ripples fade away
you pious men of clauses
masters of words and wars
and worse
no more martyrs to your causes
will come this way again

how long must i rage
against the dying of the light
before i can go to my grave
having fought the good fight
im battered and bruised
black and blue
like the night i invite
pray take me gently
lest i take my own life in spite

the people that care dont care
theyre not there to help you
theyre there to get theirs
whether theyre directors doctors or nurses
theyre at work
they cant remember the last time their calling was heard
through the cacophony of their own phony words

this grey feeling
so monochromatically appealing
akin to staring at the ceiling
unaware of the storm that is passing overhead

too far gone
not far enough yet
falling further
from the bleeding edge
freefall freedom
as free as it gets
feel the impact
face the consequence

the world stopped growing when i stopped measuring
all of a sudden everything was within my reach
while outside my capacity
collapsing as i am under the weight of my own gravity

i grind my teeth in the night
eating myself in my sleep
trying to extract enough sustenance
to face the day that keeps repeating
how many times must i relive
my nightmares upon waking
where im not the gallant knight
im the monster waiting to cremate him

id been rolling ******
gathering moss
for as long as i remember
until the day i came across you
so i stopped
changed my course on the spot
set myself on a path
that now im on
i cant step off
until i get to where im going
whether i like it or not
ive got to keep on rolling
from the bottom to the top

wont be long before shes blowing trumps trumpet
***** little cuntservertive strumpet
armageddons coming unelected to the ball
this ******* party is going to drown us all
military fluffers for when the going gets tough
were all going **** diving and its going to be rough
all the ****** in the universe couldnt help me get it up
for our new prime sinister and its new world ******

a need me sanity back
as anybody seen it?
salways in da las place ya look
so me eds up me ****
just in case irrappears

who called shotgun?
boom!
got them
shoulda stayed at home
if ya comin
i allot whos doin what
this aint a democracy
im the ****** despot
you that ****** desperate to get shot?
shut the **** up
sit the **** down
and me and you will get along
say another word
and your journey wont be long
im not in the mood
for whatever **** youve got goin on
this is MY ****** song

its not the same bed once its over
cant roll over to console her
isnt my role any more
since she decided to show me the door
so im lying here listening to her snore
tormented by thoughts of the morning
nothing i can say to the prone form
of my former lover
too late to tell her i love her

never let anger hold sway
cut your hate into a page
spit out the words of your rage
then walk away
youll thank me one day
catharsis serves the heart
can turn your evil into art
youll live longer that way

no more tears for a dead cop
how many lives saved from the five dropped
theres an american saying that comes to mind lots
payback is a *****
thats what black lives cost

lines on a map
like the lines in the sand
that defined them
are ephemera
intended to be rubbed away
at the end of the argument

it was never my argument

that is my argument

start at four
unlock the doors
wash the floors
wash the tables
cleaning up whats left over
from yesterdays fun and games
then start again
12 hours more
of back and forth
and back and forth
and back and forth
and back and forth
and scorn
and whispered words of harm
from smarmy englands home grown army
braver now
since the bigots charter
britains best
at the bar rat arsed again
better than the rest
at spending their hard earned girocheque

irons in fires
requiring firing iron
brass knuckles
brass necks
steel will bent under stress
fingers bent under duress
tied taxed and twatted
left messed up hair matted
in copper red
another bent copper dead

I'm burnt
my emotions are too close to the surface now
raw reaction has me acting out of character
too much has happened
matters out of hand
it doesn't matter
can't make a mouse out of a man
made out of mountain granite
the wind the rain and time
might try
combined
to try my patience
I'll stand my ground
cut off my nose to spite my face
if needed
they want to take me down
they'll have to take me out in pieces
while I can spit in their eye
I will never
be
defeated

but for now I could cry

communication is the key
so i talk to myself as much as i can
we have a laugh
me and me
as a matter of fact
here he is now
with a joke
about a man
sat alone
with himself

if i thought i had the words youd want to hear
id write them down and post them
here, there and everywhere
wear every sole i own down
making sure you know im there for you
you are my soul now
dont let your fears turn into tears
youre not alone
ya daft cow

the man with the clock
says timing is everything
the man at the dock
thinks his ship has come in
the man with his head on the block
sees the future coming
whilst the man with the worst of bad luck
tries again

i can fix anyone except me
bring me your problems
i can put them to sleep
its nothing special i just say what i see
you see it too or you wouldnt be talking to me
its just a form of devils advocacy
i see your demons and i speak their language fluently
let them talk through me
occam would approve
as deeply incised insight like mine
is built on a life in ruin

the paint on her face is a projection
a protection against male rejection
only a man could demand that his vision of perfection
should hide behind her reflection

nobody looks to see
another mans problems
dont bother me
is their thinking
until another man
explodes outside their building
kills their children
flies a plane into their blinkered world
in no uncertain terms
problems are getting worse
all of a sudden solving problems
has a moral worth
drop some bombs on them
cant go wrong
though its never worked
fighting fire with fire
just gets your fingers burnt

where next
sailing on this dry riverbed
paddle harder
bow your head
stern master said
work up a sweat
make it easier on yourself
give you somethin
to drown in

say hello to the nouveau *****
stormtroopers in top hats and tails
to remind us that right is might is right
and that the righteous always prevail
dissent will be met with violence
remember dead men tell no tales
penitence or consequences
are all thats left for the left in their dying days

they voted with their feet
took their ball home and went back to sleep
demoted from the champions league
scored an own goal from a gifted penalty
as unthinkable as that could be

remember when we were fresh friends
remember good times neverending
remember laughter transcending
everything
remember friends are forever

i dont want to hear what i shouldnt be doing
when youre doing it for two
or three or four or more
my engine is too big
i dont recycle
i consume without thought
for sure
and ill do it some more
im one man
i cant possibly do as much damage
as your creaking fallopian doors

whatever your opinion of their affectations
or their flamboyant nature
was just a frame for your self hatred
there was a person behind the persona you hated
someones child youve taken
something irreplaceable
congratulations
youre a real man now.

a nice lady informed me I was ****** today
I tried to feign indignance but what could I say
my bed was made before I knew Id have nowhere to lay
it didnt even occur to me that homelessness was coming to stay

whether we are playing the game wrong
or playing the wrong game
does it matter when the result is always the same?
whats that saying about outcomes always being the same?
being insane?
what would I know
there I go
talking to the wall again

theyve got their eyes
and then theyve got their vision
as mutually exclusive
as the hearts and minds
that will make the decision

paying pawns to play the kings game is for the poor
Im not playing it that way any more
my monetary weakness has me hamstrung for sure
but its not like I havent made stronger moves before
checkmate is an uncomfortable place to be
sitting waiting for their brave knights on contracts to come and get me
but as impossible as it may seem
I will extract myself from this trap they have me in
even if it kills me

they make our beds
then they lie to us
cry crocodile tears
while they dine on us
sow their seeds
in the fields of our lives
then force us to reap
all ten times the tithe

I have prided myself
on my piece of mind
sure in my head
that my thoughts were mine
but brought up in a prison
with the walls ill-defined
didnt need to be in jail
to be institutionalised