they were once amateurs
living life for the joy
doing the things the professionals forget
once theyre employed
now they spend their time allocated
filling weekends with toys
trying to remember the feelings they had
when they were happy little girls and boys
whats lost is the wonder
once gone its destroyed
they can never recapture
that unfettered rapture
of knowing your time is yours
until one day theyre sat there
wrapped up in their own little world
wondering what happened
how they made their whole life work
start to look for whats lacking
now they can afford what they think they deserve
turns out all they were after
was to laugh like they didnt have a care in the world
rich in their poverty

im up to my nuts in the tide
crying defiantly
warning the waves away
im not obstinate
im mired
my rime rimmed eyes
are master of naught they survey
my hands are tied
im bound to be riled up
watching whats coming my way
regardless i try
ill stop when im dried out
or drowning
take a deep breath
and start over again

you need to check your front
is not on backwards
getting caught grinning
is no laughing matter
remember
in it to win it
less is coming last
be the index not the epilogue
when it comes to chapters after
or its time to close the book

atwixt the time i knew you as forever
and the time i knew you were gone
there were moments atween us transcendent
every
single
one

its hard to make plans
with your head up your ****
when you cant see past
the colon

the H in NHS is for Humiliation
that much i can say for certain
the N and the S? I can only guess
but im not hanging round to discern it
id hoped that the H was for Help
that id take them my problem
theyd be the people to hear it
but thats not what theyre there for
theyre only repairers
proactive is asking for miracles

time scratches past infuriatingly
catching upon every tangle along the way
stretching tortured moments taut
excruciating
tearing when its all too much to take