when the demons you were fighting
have become your only friends
the hell that you inhabit your only wall
against the winter wind
the line you swore youd never cross
worn flat from trespassing
them taking what you havent got
could be a mixed blessing

or a massacre

im not afraid of what i think is out there
im afraid of what i know is in me
i cant promise a peaceful outcome
when bureaucracy meets suicidal antisocial nonconformity

crawl to the gallows
or go swimming with the sharks in the shallows
dig deep for the hard place
hollow out the marrow
while the rocks keep piling up
building my barrow

lessons cost

the bill is mine to pay

loss has taught me more
than all the education
i could ever assimilate

you have to pay the piper

for the melody

but you dont get to second guess
when the dirge is delivered
in a flat minor key

you just do your dance

and you pay the fee

i dont know what you thought
you were in for
but equality means being ignored
when your pleas fall on deaf ears
you will know you have found your reward
congratulations
welcome aboard

**** happens
but one day youll look up
unless youve buried your head in the sand for so long
sediment has made it your grave
then **** happens

Im struggling to keep the pain within
showing its hated pitiful face to the world
while the raging storm swirls around me
I in the eye am utterly calm
be very afraid