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Feb 2012 · 717
Space Man
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
You know...
Here's the thing.
I always felt that I had
a good head on my shoulders
right up until the point that I met you.
You took it off my body and you drop kicked
it into space where it's now floating somewhere just
outside of Jupiter's grasp.  The rest of me remains bound
to the gravity of the earth, but my head?  It's in orbit.
You make me see stars with your heavenly body.
Your eyes are black holes from which there is
no escape.  You've gone supernova, my love,
and I'm basking in the gamma rays of
your affection.  It's a good burn.  I'm
gasping for air, but it isn't due to
lack of oxygen.  You steal my
breath from me. It's OK,
though.  You are truly
out of this world,
and now I'm
with you
at last
.
I find myself continually editing the last couple sentences in this.  On revision 5 now.
Feb 2012 · 1.2k
My Apathetic Brain Pt. 3
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
Let's play word association, brain

Sure

Anger

Carrots

Vegetables

Parachute Pants

MC Hammer

Sub Prime Mortage

Are you even trying?

Nicolas Cage.  Oh wait...that one actually made sense

You can be an ******* sometimes

Says the guy playing word association with himself

...Touché

*Lenny Bruce
One could also submit Keanu Reeves, Eddie Murphy, and the entire US Congress in place of Nick Cage.
Feb 2012 · 10.0k
World's Smartest Man
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
He owned books on many subjects
leather bound, with complex concepts
on which he'd ponder and reflect

He had it all, in some respects.

He could lecture quantum physics,
English literature and economics
He was renowned in academics

Though many found him quite eccentric

He explored the world only to find
That there's more to life than a brilliant mind
That there was a piece of him...undefined

See, He had never loved. He'd never pined

He knew all the math, knew all equations
He'd been to every corner of every nation
He'd learned 28 languages, knew every translation

But he was distraught by this realization

The pain he felt was too great to bear
He sank into the deepest and darkest despair
His heart was in need of dire repair

Finding love was his only prayer

He bumped into her by happenstance
and what began as an ephemeral glance
became a sucker punch from romance

She thought he was sweet, so she gave him a chance

That's when the world's smartest man finally learned how to dance
Somewhat inspired by the Dr. Who episode "The Doctor Dances"
Feb 2012 · 657
He's all thumbs
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
Little Jack Horner
On the street corner
His eyes are empty and gray
He hates to bother
but could you spare a dollar?
Everyone has debts that need paid
Feb 2012 · 1.1k
Her Curves and Sway
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
Little Miss Muffet,
she certainly loved it;
rolling with boys in the hay

She always had company
but now her belly's a bump, you see
The father?  No one could say
Good title?  Not sure.
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
Your once silky voice
has turned to gravel
to my ears.  Your
words are sandpaper
to my self esteem

Your personality has
been eroded by
bitterness.  It
sweeps away
all that made you
interesting, a raging
river of disappointment

Your skin is cracking
to the point where
I fear that any part
of you that I touch
will crumble to
the floor.  

If this keeps up
soon you will
be nothing but
a pile of sand

Another mess
for me to sweep
under the rug
Feb 2012 · 3.3k
The Dam is Breached
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
HaHA, I've done it!  I've created a device
That can tap into my subconscious
and translate it for all to hear.

I will win the Nobel Prize!
I will be rich beyond my wildest dreams!
People will LIKE me!

So let's see here....I put on the cap, set the throttobombulator to 8.
Adjust for fuzzy dialation...set the circuit threshold to .79, make
sure the lucid translation synapses are firing...and yes.  The next
words you hear will surely be written in History books one day,
much like Thomas Edison's first phonograph recording, or the
first telephone call!

Neural connection is active.  Transmitting

TRANSGENDERED KANGAROOS FORNICATE IN THE
PURPLE SHADE OF BETTE MIDLER'S THIGHS.  PLEASE
PERFORM ******* AT THE BEHEST OF BUDDHIST
MONKS WITH LISPS.  COUNT TO TEN AND BECOME
A BUXOM BLONDE ***** WITH BOUNCY *******.  
WHEN THE CLOCK STRIKES TWELVE, CINDARELLA IS
ON HER KNEES AND ELBOWS BECAUSE IT'S ******
HARD TO GET LOW ENOUGH TO PLEASURE A DWARF


Oh dear.  This can't be right....now where's that 'off' switch?


JACK AND JILL WENT OFF THE PILL SO JACK COULD
BE A FATHER.  JACK WENT DOWN TO LONDON TOWN
AND PUNCHED THE DALAI LAMA.  EDIBLE *******
GIVE YOU INDIGESTION.  DO YOU KISS YOUR MOTHER
WITH THAT MOUTH, BECAUSE YOU SHOULD. (AND USE
SOME TONGUE THIS TIME)


Oh My...Ladies and Gentlemen, It's clear that my invention
is experiencing technical difficulties.  If you would please be patient---

SATIN BRAS DON'T CHAFE.  NONE OF THE SMURFS
HAD BLUE ***** THANKS TO SMURFETTE.  I WONDER
WHAT MARY MAGDELINE WAS LIKE IN THE SACK?  *

STUPID
SmashPieceSmashof GARBAGESMASH

DoNT LikE iT?  tucK iT bAcK!!


Connection Lost*


I...erm...clearly have some more work to do before it is ready
for the *****--er..public.  I have run into some...translation
errors...and need to re lubricate--CALIBRATE a few things.

Please don't tell my mother.
I'm aware this is quite lewd,  It was necessary to make the point.  Hopefully people find it as humorous as I intended.
Feb 2012 · 4.0k
Ten Ways To Say
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
We will walk through the Cherry blossoms
in Japan, hand in hand, meandering through
the falling petals.  Our winding path
will weave through the countryside  with
no goal in sight.  We will stop in front of a
particularly beautiful tree, whose branches
are just beginning to look naked.

I will look at you, brush a stray blossom
from your hair...and whisper

           Aishiteru
               .                                                                ­                   
                   .                                                                ­                
                     .   .                                                                ­            
                               .                                                                ­          
                                     .                                                                ­        
                             We trek the Arctic circle and witness
                             the absolute beauty of the Aurora Borealis.                       
                             We're be bundled tightly in our parkas,                                     
                    ­         but we are still be able to feel eachother's                                   
                  ­           warmth.  We laugh as we throw snowballs.
                             We lie in the snow and make angels.                                          
               ­              Well...they'll start out as angels, but in the                                 
                            ­ end, they'll just look like snow that two people                          
                             have just rolled around in.                                                  
           ­                                                                 ­                      
                                              We can't help it.  As we embrace,                             
                           ­                   I whisper
                                                     Negligevapse                                                    
­                                                         .                                          
                     ­                                     .                           ­             
                                                          .     ­                                   
                                                         .                                          
                     ­                                   .                             ­             
                                                     .                                            
                   ­                              .                                                  
             ­                              .                                                        
       ­                                                                 ­                          
         We stroll the beaches of Hawaii, refreshing ocean                                    
         breezes cool us.  I picked you a flower,
         which you now wear in your hair.  Your cinnamon                               
         brown skin offsets your beautiful white smile.                                       
         We run through the breaking waves, our feet                                                
         leaving ephemeral indentations that are as                                             
         fleeting as our cares.  We fall over into                                                     
       ­  the surf and let the ocean wash over us.                                                     
        ­                                                                 ­                         
              I kiss your nose and tell you                                                          
   ­                   Aloha wau ia oi                                                               ­             
                              .                    ­                                                
                ­                  .                                      In China, we race eachother along   
                                     .                               .   the Great Wall to see who can get 
                                        .                   ­        .    to the end first.  We both end up   
                                           .                     .       dragging eachother across the         
                                             .               .           finish line...which happens to be      
                                                 .   .   .               a few hundred feet away.          
                                                 ­                        The locals shake their                
                                           ­                              heads disaprovingly, as we stifle      
                                                    ­                     a giggle.  I lean in and remind you  
                                                           ­                                       
                         ­                                                   Wo ai ni..                    
                                                             .  .                      .            
                         ­                                 .       .                     .          
                                                       .            .                   .          
                                                     .               .                 .            
                                                   .                  .   .   .   .  .            
                                                 .                                                
               ­                In Soviet Russia, girl kiss you                                              
               ­                and I gladly let her, for she                                               
              ­                 and I have had one too many shots                                 
                          ­     of *****.  Our faces are rosy and                                       
                      ­         we lean into each other as our feet                                     
                       ­        make hard noises on the cobblestone                                       
              ­                 streets.  Saint Basil's Cathedral                                          
             ­                  looms over us, as our lips dance                                           
                ­               a familiar dance.                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                  
                              ­            Ya tebya liubliu                                                        
 ­                                                .                                                
                                                 .                                                
            .  .  .  .                          .               ­                                   
         .             .                      .                                         ­           
       .                .                   .                                                      
      .                    .  .  .  .  .  .                                                 ­       
    .                                                           ­                                   
We gaze at the Taj Mahal, a building                                                         ­   
built for a man's true love. I would                                                            ­      
build you a city.  we take in the                                                              ­          
mighty majesty of Everest.  I tell                                                             ­                
you I'd climb it for you.  You tell                                                             ­              
me to stop being silly, and say
you'd get bored waiting for me.
I give you a back rub instead.                                            

  Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte hae 
                                                            ­             We travel the dutch  countryside
                                              ­                            and kick off our wooden shoes to
                   .                                          ­            watch the tulips blooming.
                       .                                            .     I dedicate an entire field to you.
                          .                                 ­    .         You blush.
                              .                           ­   .         we fall asleep in front of a windmill,
                                 .     .                  .          watching the shapes of the clouds pass
                                         .      .      .             over us. I whisper in your ear
                                                             ­                                                                 ­      
                                                                ­       Ik hou van jou
                                                             ­             .                        
                                                                ­         .                          
                                     ­                                  .                            
                                   ­                                  .                              
                                 ­                                  .                                
                               ­                                  .                                  
                             ­            .  .  .  .  .  .  .  .                                           ­ 
    France has never been as beautiful as                                                               ­   
    it is now that you're here.  We skirt                                                            ­         
    the cities and explore the countryside,                                                     ­           
    Endless fields and clear skies bring                                                            ­     
    out our inner children, and spend the day
    romping and rolling until our clothes                                                          ­  
    are stained and our muscles ache.  I                                                         ­             
    lay beside you, panting.  In between                                                          ­       
    breaths, I manage to impart                                                           ­                
                                                ­                                                            
    ­                                                                 ­                                       
               Je t'aime                                                           ­                                 
                   .                                                                ­                        
                    .                                           ­                                             
                   ­   .                                                             ­                         
                        .              ­                                                                 ­     
                          .  .  .    .    .       .          .                                                    
                                                                ­                                            
                    ­                                            We explore Roman ruins and concoct      
                                                   ­             our own love story had we been born      
                                                      ­          in the Ancient city.  I would have        
                                                    ­            been a mighty General, who saved      
                                                     ­           you from a terrible dicator.  You            
                                       ­                         tell me to stop quoting Gladiator.       
                                               ­                 We share a kiss under the shadow           
                                               ­                 of the colleseum.  I brush your         
                                                   ­             hair from your face...                       
                                  ­                                                                 ­       
                                                         ­                  Ti Amo                              
                                                                ­               .                          
                                                                ­                                          
                      ­                                                        .        ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
  ­                                                                 ­        .                              
                                                                ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                   
                                             ­                           .                                  
  ­                                                                 ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                
                                                ­                    .                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                    
                            ­                           You smile and reply                                   
                        ­                                                                 ­                 
                                               ­             I love you, too
Feeling hopelessly romantic today.
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
Though your curves are entrancing,
I found your personality lacking
Feb 2012 · 1.9k
The Devil Made Me Do it
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
I
Icy fingers wrap around
my legs and arms.  They
sink their daggerlike nails
into my skin, and force
me to go to places
that I shouldn't be

Thick polluted smoke
enters my lungs, and
fills them with the
darkest tar.  I cough
and spew out words
that I shouldn't say

Slimy tendrils slither
into my ears and wrap
around my brain.  They
snake into the crevices
of the gray matter, and
force disturbing thoughts
to the surface of my mind

It's the Devil, my dear
who spits out poisonous
barbs that make you cry,
Not me.

It's the Devil, my love
who stares at you with
those cold red eyes,
Not me.

It's the Devil, mon cherie
who whispers sweet nothings
that always turn to cold lies,
Not me.

Don't you know I love you, babe?


II**

Please forgive my insincerities
It's not me at all, you see
There's a devil controlling the things that I do
and wouldn't you know it, he's not fond of you

He made me take a gander of the lass with the cans
It was all him when I forgot our dinner plans
Don't blame me when I stumbled in drunk
He likes tequila, who would've thunk?

When our ******* session was somewhat abrupt?
He was the reason I was forced to erupt
When foreplay became no play, who else can I blame?
He's bad at back rubs, and we'll toss just the same

He's crass and uncaring and remarkably rude
He's insensitive, boorish and  unimaginably lewd
He's not me, my dear, of that much I'm sure
I'm wonderful, loving, tactful, and pure

So the next time you're thinking of starting a row
for something I've done, or something I've blown
Take a deep breath and look into my eyes
and maybe catch a glimpse of the devil inside
This is my attempt at taking a concept and writing it in two different styles.  One being serious/dark/sad, the other being humerous, upbeat, and sarcastic.
Feb 2012 · 438
Words List 2/2/12
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
Worlds of my mind
Dreams of my heart
Loves of my life

Like the words in my head...

I just want the time of day
to think my way
Poem created using my 'top words' as of 2/2/2012.  prepositions and articles added so it makes sense...
Feb 2012 · 618
Proven Wrong
Joel A Doetsch Feb 2012
Every evening I go to bed knowing
that there's no way I could love you
more than I did today.

Every morning you prove me wrong
You're always right
beside me
smiling as if to say
"I told ya so"
Jan 2012 · 1.3k
The Battle
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
You hit me with your pillow
  I am caught off guard, my nose was in a book
                        Now my nose is in the book.  Ow.
                                     I move quickly, time is of the essence
                                                       and we're at war.
                                                       I take my pillow
                                                    and dive over the
                                               edge of the bed.  You
                                          chase me relentlessly around
                                                the room, leaving a wake
                                                of down feathers trailing
                                                        ­    behind you, lazily falling
                                                         ­   to the ground in this violent
                                                         ­   melee.
                                                       ­      You swing your
                                                            ­     Pillow
                                                          ­   Like a medieval axe  
                                                                     I am beside myself trying
                                                          ­   to fend off your blows
                                                                 as you hit me over the head
                                                            ­ again and again.  
                                                        ­You've backed me into the corner
                                                       I wave my pillowcase
                                                     like a white flag
                                                   You let your guard down.
                                                Whoops.  I have two pillows now.
                                                                ­   >:)
                                             I do the chasing this time, as a dual
                                        wielding pillow monster...of DOOM
                                   "No Fair!", you call out as karma makes
                                a full circle.
                            "Love isn't fair
                           My dear"
                      I say, as I wrap
                  my tired arms
            around you
and fall into the bed,
where we lie
among the spoils
of battle
Love is an impromptu pillowfight...
Jan 2012 · 697
She Lies in bed
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
She lies in bed and impishly smiles
Her naked body is my temple
I think about her every once in awhile
Love is always distorted, rarely simple

Her naked body is my temple
I explore every inch of her mind
Love is always distorted, rarely simple
I am saddened by what I find

I explore every inch of her mind
I think that I know her inside and out
I am saddened by what I find
everyone has something to lie about

When I left her it was November
I think about her every once in awhile
I cannot help but to remember
She lies in bed and impishly smiles
First attempt at a Pantoum
Jan 2012 · 864
50/50
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
My heart weighed heavy with the decision
that I was about to make.  Here I was
standing outside in the rain...
in front of her house.

Should I or should I not?  
The question bounced
around my head like an
insane man
in a padded room.

I stuck my hands in my pocket
and brushed up against
a quarter.
A sudden strike of simple realization
I can let the universe decide.

Heads, yes. Tails, no.  Simple.

I flipped the coin, saw it spinning
carefree through the air, ready
to simplify my decision.  Every
time the coin flipped, I reflected
on what had brought me
to this point

Tails
How she smashed the dinner plate over
my head during an argument.  The way
she looked at my friend.  How she told
me she could never trust me.  She told me
she never loved me.

Heads
The way she would show up to work
in a sundress and bring me my
favorite food.  The smile that should
be framed up in the Louvre. She told me
she'd always love me

Tails
The blood staining the cold tile floor
in the bathroom.  The locked door
and the sobbing.  The sleepless night
convincing her to stop.  She said that
she didn't want to live

Heads
The way she'd sneak up and hug me
when I was cooking dinner.  The way
she'd sigh as we entwined in sheets.
How she knew my soul.  I'm sure that
she was happy.

Tails
The Lies. The uncertainty
The pent up Anger.
The lonely nights awake
The fear

Heads
The love.  The rapture.
The silly poems.
The feeling of oneness.
The happiness


The coin landed.
I didn't look at it.
I walked to her door
and I told her....
Jan 2012 · 2.0k
Inspiration
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
I could not write.  There was a drought in my mind
I could not concoct a single ****** line.  I told my wife
My dear, I think it's high time
I went and refilled my inspiration

I walked to the store, the one at the end of my block
I surveyed my mind, yet still it was locked.  I shook my head
I can't believe I waited this long to restock
my nearly empty inspiration

Once inside, I browsed the multitude of  sparkling aisles
Searching for a brand to match my writing style.  With little luck
It was difficult to find one worthwhile
to serve as my inspiration

I started reading the descriptions on the boxes
_________________
E­xtreme Naivete
Do you like Rainbows, puppies, unicorns and sparkling vampires?
EXTREME NAIVETE might be just the inspiration you need to
explain to the world why Justin Bieber's hair is just the perfect shade
of blonde.  Remind everyone that there is sunshine and happiness
in everyone's heart if you just help them find it.  Perfect for the 10
year old in all of us that hasn't yet faced the harshness of reality.

Side effects include:  blatant ignorance of the fact that most people
are complete self absorbed *******, increased use of smiley faces,
and tendency to dot your i's with hearts.
_________________

­_________________
Dark and Brooding
Doesn't life ****?  Do you hate how everyone sits around and acts like
nothing is wrong with the world?  Do you feel like you're the only one
who has ever felt this way, like, ever?  Don't get mad, get...eh...whatever.
Tell your depressing story to anyone who will listen with our brand new
DARK AND BROODING inspiration.  Tell the world how you feel like
cutting your wrists and how every day is cold and meaningless.  Write
words that are as black as the clothes you picked up from Hot Topic.  A
perfect gift for a suburban teenager of successful parents trying to rebel.

Side effects include:  Using generic metaphors that include the words
'cold', 'dark', 'lifeless', and 'pointless' to describe your life; the sudden
urge to dye your wardrobe black and gray; and wearing an excessive
amount of eyeliner.
_________________­

_________________
Hopel­ess Romantic
Is there one person for everyone?  Do you want to be able to describe
the way your heart feels in excruciating detail down to the way your
"ventricles ventriculate doubly so" when your special someone is near?
Perhaps you should try HOPELESS ROMANTIC, the newest
in our ever growing line of inspirations.  Your misguided love will
reach new heights with all of the new words you will be able to use
to describe it.  you will be so mushy, that we'd recommend not
standing on open sewer grates after using this product.

Not recommended for stalkers or near ex girlfriends.  Side effects
include the inability to wipe that stupid grin off your face, random
urges to serenade women, and the sudden desire to quit your job to
search for your one true love.  We do not recommend mixing this
inspiration with EXTREME NAIVETE
_________________

­_________________
Bitter Lover
Heartbroken? Lovelorn?  Sexless?  Have you been feeling alone
recently, but can't quite find the words to explain it?  Well worry
no more!  About that...at least.  With BITTER LOVER, you can
focus all your hatred for the concept of "love" into acidic lyrics
of disapproval.  You will be able to spew forth a torrent of
spite and poisonous barbs towards anyone who even looks
like they're happy with their significant other.  Why should
they enjoy themselves?

Side effects include anywhere from snide apathy to seething anger
whenever you hear the songs "Kiss Me" or "Linger",  the inability
to see that your friends want you to stop depressing them and get
on with your life, and the urge to get drunk and tell people how
much marriage *****.
_________________


­After I finished reading, I shrugged my shoulders and sighed
This clearly wasn't the best solution to try.  I went home
I picked up my pencil with pride
at my growing inspiration
Jan 2012 · 718
Cause and Effect
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
If you touch the hot stove.....you will be burned
If you drink the poison...you will get sick
If the candle dies, you will be alone in the dark
If you jump...you will fall


don't jump


If you pull the trigger...someone will get hurt
If you break the glass you will bleed
If you stand in the storm, you will blow away
If you fall for me, your heart will be broken


don't fall


________


When I touch the hot stove
When I drink the poison

I learn from my mistakes

When my candle dies, I will light it again
and push forward

When I fall, I will pick myself up
Because that's what people do


take chances


I pull the trigger because I know where I'm aiming the gun
I break the glass because you placed it between us

I stand in the storm because it's where I always find you

I'm falling for you because we always risk getting hurt
when we fall
but we still have to try


*take the leap
Had these as 2 poems, but I felt the message was lost...so put 'em together
Jan 2012 · 1.2k
Fractures
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Bro  ken  Po     ems
a re of  ten  dif   fi cult
to  co   mpr e h en  d


B    ut ..... .... .. .
So ar e
b  ro  k  enh  e  ar  ts
bro ke np r o  mi se s
            a n d
b r ok   end   re am s
Jan 2012 · 2.0k
Silence as a Second Language
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Did you know Ninjas have a language
That we can't understand?
While it isn't terribly complicated
it can be tough to comprehend

I happen to be fluent
I've studied for some time
Below I've crafted a poem
using Ninjutsu as my rhyme














































I can only hope you found
my poem to be delighting
there are few things I enjoy
quite more than ninja writing
There's a ninja standing behind you.  You should probably like this. :D
Jan 2012 · 542
Good Question
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
You ever get that feeling
when you see two people talking
to one another, and you can just tell
by looking into their eyes, that they are
a few simple words away from ripping each
other's clothes off and making passionate, absurd,
raucus, twisting, contorting, upside down, sideways,
vibrating, teeth-rattling,  skin-slapping *** right in front
of anybody and everybody who happens to be walking by?

"Why the hell not?"

Good question.
I'm wondering if I should cut the last line off and let the Title speak for itself....
Jan 2012 · 2.3k
Back to Basics
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
There was a universe.
In this universe...was a galaxy
In this galaxy...was a planet
On this planet...was a man
In this man...was a heart
In this heart...was a cell
In this cell...was a nucleus
In this nucleus...was a proton
In this proton...was a quark
In this quark...was a gluon
In this gluon...was....


Where was I going with this?

Umm....

You're awesome.
I feel I could have done better with this one.  Oh well...
Jan 2012 · 3.6k
Says Who?
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
You will read this poem aloud in your head

You'll read this line in an Australian accent
You will read this line in a British accent
This line here, you'll read in a cockney accent
In Russian accent, you will read this line...with *****

This line will be read in your best friend's voice
You will read this line in your mother's voice
You will read this line in your father's voice

Or maybe you won't.  I'm not a f*ing magician.

Geez..
Jan 2012 · 1.3k
Puzzle Piece
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
I've always had this empty feeling
in my heart.
I've tried many times over the years
to satisfy it


First I became a teacher.
What better way to fill my void
than by educating the leaders
of tomorrow?

I taught them.  I filled their heads
with knowledge.  Every child that
entered my classroom left with
an appreciation of what they
had learned.

Still, when I laid in bed at night,
I felt that emptiness in my soul
******* up my contentment.
So I stopped teaching

Next, I became an adventurer.
Clearly my last job, while fulfilling
was incredibly boring.  What better
way to fill the void than to feel
the adrenaline rushing through
my head?

I skydived, I wrestled alligators,
I climbed mountains, I pod raced.
I felt more alive than I ever had
before.  It was exhilarating.
Women loved me, men wanted
to be me.

Still.  It didn't fill the void.  I would
go to bed with women whose eyes
were just as empty as I was.  I would
wake up with plastic and rubber.
I stopped thrill seeking.

Next, I became an astronaut.
I clearly needed to complement
excitement with the satisfaction
of doing something good for
the world.

I studied the universe.  I traced
lines along the constellations.
My research was renowned
by scholars worldwide.  With
my help, the world entered
a new paradigm

Still, the void persisted.  

I became an architect
and built some of the
most mind-boggling
structures that had
ever been envisioned

I became a doctor
and found the cure
to the diseases of
humanity

I became a poet
and wrote words
that echoed
throughout the ages.

After all I had done
After all I had accomplished
After all the time I had spent

I was still empty.

           Then I looked up
           Then I opened my eyes
           Then I realized

All I had been missing

All this time

Was you.
Jan 2012 · 888
Used
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
When I gave you your heart back
        
                  You claimed it didn't fit right anymore
                         You claimed it didn't feel like it used to
                          

Now I understand what you meant.
Jan 2012 · 880
Brainstorm
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
I conjure forth a booming and terrifying
storm within the confines of my head.  The clouds
gather as the wind starts to howl.  The trees sway as their
leaves turn upward, hungrily waiting for the drops of rain to begin
to sate them.  There is a moment of silence before we see
a bolt of lightning shatter the sky, followed shortly
by a deep rolling thunder that shakes my imagination.
Then

i                                             ­                                 v
d                             ­                 t                              e
e              ­       w                       h                             r
a                     o                        o                s            s
s       ­               r                        u                t       ­     e
                       d                        g                o            s
        ­               s                        h                 r            
                                               t                 i            
                                                 s                 e              
                                                 ­                   s              


They form in puddles in my mind
waiting to be put into vases
where they can nourish
my creativity
Jan 2012 · 5.6k
For Better or Worse
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
He was definitely dead.  That much could be gathered.  He was standing over his own body, sixty feet away from the car.  fifty-nine feet away from  the telephone pole.  The pool of blood on the blacktop was rippling from the sheets of rain that were piercing it.  The rain bounced off of his lifeless eyes, staring on into the cloudy sky.   His shocked expression was forever frozen on his face.  He walked around the corpse, both fearful and excited.  He was dead....He was DEAD!  He was on the other side!  He looked around, searching for the 'white light',  but all he found  was a man dressed in a ratty  trench coat staring directly at him.  Rotting teeth smiled at him under a grungy  Fedora in a way that reminded him of a jack-o-lantern carved into the likeness of Indiana Jones that had been left out past Thanksgiving.  A withered hand beckoned him.

He was not hesitant.  He was not fearful.  

Those were emotions controlled by a brain that was currently about as useful as a bag full of gelatin.  He strode forward and took the man's hand.  It was neither hot nor cold.  They were no longer in the rain.  They were in a room with a large monitor
sitting in front of a station of various knobs, buttons, and switches.  A large leather chair apathetically awaited use .  He was aware that none of these objects  actually existed, because they were in the place where things don't exist.  Still, he sat down
and turned on the monitor.  He looked at the labels.  Some were obvious, such as P L A Y,  P A U S E, and S T O P.  Others were strange, like the ones labeled F I R S T S and L A S T S.  He pressed the former.  A list appeared with items as simple as "Kiss" to ones as specific as "Sprained Left Ankle in November".

He chose the former.

The screen went blank, then a video appeared.  It was a boy and a girl lying on a hill on a blanket at the onset of dusk.  The boy he instantly recognized as himself. The boy brushed his hand against hers.  She let him.  Fingers now entwined as they stared at each other.  At the time it had felt like hours, but it was less than a
minute before lips pushed apart to make way for tongues.  His first kiss.  It didn't take him long to figure out how the machine worked from that point on.  

He spent years going through every second of his life and reliving it from a new perspective. It didn't matter, he had all the time that never was and never would be.  He saw his mistakes and his triumphs, his loves and his heartbreaks.  Finally, he decided he was
finished.  It was time to go.  The man in the Fedora smiled.  Smiled that Cheshire smile

They were in a hallway.  It seemed to stretch for miles.  Every twenty paces or so, there was a person, standing on a platform, obscured in darkness.  He walked to the first one.
A light flickered on.  It was his mother.  She looked like she did when he was a boy, vibrant and full of life.  She never lost that, even as her body aged and her health declined, she always had something to smile about.  He talked to this apparition of his mother.   They talked for hours about his life, of random topics.  Things they had never had time to talk about when they were both alive.  After some time, she gave him one of her wry
smiles.  He nodded and made his way to the next person.  His father.  

He continued this for quite some time.  He talked to everyone from his brother to a guy he used to get high with in college.  Years passed as he said his final goodbyes to all the people in his life
that he had ever known.  All of them were happy for him.  All of them had something to tell him that he had never known about them in life.  None of them were real.  When he was done, he turned to the man in the fedora.  A smile.  A smile that had a personality all its own, a smile that simultaneously showed compassion and seething hatred.

The last room.  No one said it was the last room, but it had that feeling of finality to it. It was spartan, nothing in it except a marble floor that seemed to stretch for eternity in every direction.  It probably did.  In front of him were two pedestals.  On each of those
pedestals was himself.  The one on the left was wearing a fine tailored suit, had radiating skin and a smile that cameras feasted on.  The one on the right was a stark contrast.  The teeth he had left were hanging lazily from the roots.  His hair that he had left was thin, oily, and ridden with lice.  His mouth turned upwards in an insane grin that was only
matched by his thirsty, bloodshot eyes that seemed to bulge from his pockmarked skin

                                          They both spoke at once.

You were born on                                           You were born on
July 3, 1985.  Your                                           July 3, 1985.  Your
parents fed your                                         mother died when you
curiosity at a young                                     were 4.  Your father
age.  Your passion                                   turned to alcohol.  He
was art.  You painted                                 took his pain out on you.
your first work when                                     You dropped out of    
you were nine.  By the                                high school and moved
time you were 16, you                             as far away from this
were renowned as a                             life as you could.  You
artistic prodigy.  You                      quickly discovered a bad crowd.
attended the Art                                     You met a girl, Cindy.
Institute of Chicago                                       You got her pregnant.
on a full scholarship.                                   You started selling drugs
It was there that you                                     to make ends meet
would meet Claire,                                       for your accidental family
your future wife. By                                       It wasn't long before
the time you completed                                     You made a mistake
your school, every                                             and ended up in jail.
museum wanted a                                        years later, when you
piece of your work                                       were released
hanging in their gallery                               you found that Cindy      
Your work would be                                       had killed herself
remembered for                                                   and your son.
hundreds of years after                                       You had no job          
your death.  You had                                                 no skills
a wonderful family,                                        You spent your days
fame, fortune, and                                          doing odd jobs for
everything that came                                   money.  Money that
with it.  You lived                                           You spent on drugs
until 89, where you                                        Until the age of 45
died peacefully in                                       Where you froze on a
your bed, surrounded                           street corner, surrounded
by loved ones.  This                        by human excrement.  This
is your life's best                                           is your life's worst
possible outcome                                         possible outcome



He nodded, then looked at the man in the fedora.  That smile crept up.  A smile like a hyena. He snapped his fingers.  Two doors appeared.  One was Oaken and battered.  The grains of wood barely visible over years of neglect.  The other door was new and had just been  painted with a fresh coat of sky blue paint.  

The man spoke for the first time.

This is the last decision you shall ever make.  The door on your left will lead you to the  afterlife, and the judgement that awaits you.  Whatever is decided, that is where you will spend eternity.  The door on the right will allow you to be reborn as a new soul.  This one will no longer exist.

He gave it a good long ponder.  Had he been good enough in life to pass the judgement?  What if he ended up in a hellish nightmare for the rest of eternity?  Could he do better
if he started fresh?  The thoughts swirled about him like a whirlwind until finally.

Years later

He chose.

The man in the fedora smiled.
I'm aware this isn't a poem.  It started off as one, but then I kept writing.
Jan 2012 · 793
In the Garden
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Mary, Mary...Extraordinary
look at your passion flow
With sultry stares, your lust is bared
who am I to say no?
Jan 2012 · 1.8k
Regime Shift
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
There are voices I hear
that are unusually clear, it's quite an awful racket
What do you mean? I hear nothing
You don't?  I hear something
Me? I can hear only quacking

They argue and bicker
I swear I get sicker each and every day
I think you're crazy, my son
He's fine, Obi Wan
Guys?  These ducks are coming our way

The least I can say
is that on rather slow days, I listen to combat the dullness
At least someone's not bored
I'm a Sith Lord!
Oh crap! one those ducks has a cutlass!!

It could be worse I suppose
but they always impose on the moments of silence I cherish
Man, he wasn't joking!
Those ducks are force choking!
If we don't leave, we're all going to perish!

One day I know
They'll finally go, and my sanity I will gain back
Quack quack quack quack
Quack quack quack quack quack
Quack quack quack quack quack quack quack!


*sigh
Jan 2012 · 1.1k
Bridges
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Some bridges we're burning in passionate blazes
Some bridges are collapsing in various stages
Still more fall to causes unknown to the ages

They can be rebuilt with patience and time

I'll span that gap, if you'd just throw me a line
Jan 2012 · 1.1k
Whispering
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Your whisper traces
lines through the air
playing games with my ears
without a care

It enters my head
and tickles my brain
it's soft
it's sweet
it's soothing as rain

It surrounds my heart
like a blanket of peace
I'm filled with the warmth
of passion's release

If your whisper alone
can affect me this much
I can only imagine
what you'd do with your
touch
Jan 2012 · 751
Feats of Strength
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
I once knew a guy who walked a thousand miles

with no shoes on his feet

     to prove his love

When he got there, she turned him down

she had found someone else

while she was waiting for him



I once knew a guy who climbed the tallest mountain

with naught but his hands and his own strength

     to prove his commitment

By the time he returned, she had moved on

she was tired of waiting for him



I once knew a guy who swam 'cross the ocean

with only the breath in his lungs

     to prove his passion

            He was eaten by a shark.

Anyway...

I won't walk across great distances for you
I won't scale rugged mountains for you
I won't swim across large bodies of water for you

But I'll totally give you a back rub later if you want
Jan 2012 · 912
Withdrawal
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Her words cleanse
they wash over him
like a wave and
he forgets that
the world is
wrong

for just a little while

Her words heal
they flow into
him like incense
and fill the cracks
of his soul with
hope

for just a little while

Her words radiate
they penetrate
his uncertain
heart and
allow him to
feel

for just a little while

Then she leaves
the world is wrong
the hope is gone
the feeling is numb

for a little while longer
Jan 2012 · 547
Crash
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Insanity ended with a shatter
as I laid waste
to
boring unpredictability
Jan 2012 · 1.2k
She's Worth It
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Write her a love note
dance in her dreams
drink up her thoughts
walk the maze of her eyes
    and get lost

Ask her about her day
Learn about her life
Swim in the sea
of her aspirations

If you always listen to her heart
She'll always take care of yours
Jan 2012 · 827
Romantic Proof
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
one plus one is one
whenever we're together.
math teachers hate me
Jan 2012 · 775
The Vault
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
You walk down the *****
cobblestone street
there is an old man
that you're going to meet

He has with him a paper
that contains my last wishes
It explains what to do
with my vast wealth and riches

You meander along
confused at this mystery
you see, we haven't spoke
since 2nd grade history

You enter the office
and are offered a chair
the man's tired eyes
give you a rather bored stare

He gets down to business
he hands you a key
and a card with an address
then he asks you to leave

Your curiosity wins
and you see yourself out
next thing you find yourself
in front of a house

This house is old
and decrepit and weary
hell, you'll admit it
it's just a bit scary

Taped up on the door
of this nightmarish lair
Is a note with your name
that just says "Downstairs"

Inside the house
the place looks like a wreck
as you do your best to ignore
the chills down your neck

You go down to the cellar
and you come to a halt
nothing to find
but a large metal vault

You grin with excitement
and you giggle with glee
your hand is shaking
as you put in the key

You swing open the door
and what do you find?
naught but a note
folded three times

You cautiously open it
and read it aloud
It says "Yur a dorkhead"
You furrow your brow

You haven't a clue
You turn the note in your hand
You're about to walk out
when the vault door is slammed

You scream and you shout
But try as you might
No one can hear you
that vault's sealed tight

While you sit in there rotting
just try and remember
who read that note?
Just who was the sender?

Who's the dorkhead now?
Jan 2012 · 931
Our Language
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
We have a language, you and I
There are no words
They have no place

Our nouns are the soft kisses
down your neck
my hand brushing your hair
away from your face

our adjectives are the way
our legs entwine
how your toes curl towards mine
and how your arms wrap
around my back

Our verbs are found
in each others eyes
spoken through smiles
and punctuated with
gasps, whispers, and sighs

Our language
of touch
says more than any
spoken language
ever could.

Of course, like most languages
there are always exceptions
to the rule
You're allowed to say
I Love you
Jan 2012 · 1.5k
Buy Insanity, It's cheap.
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
There was a time that I found my life
to be boring
inane
bourgeois
some...other fancy sounding word
but that was before I discovered how amazing
life could truly be. That was before I discovered
InsaniFree. I bought it over the phone
for $14.83 and let me tell you

I couldn't be happier now.

You just take a teaspoon a day, and your
annoying
    controlling
        bothersome
sanity just slips away,never to be seen again.
Why within the first day I had quit my job of 25 years.
Just up and quit!
I walked into my boss's office and told him I was done.
Done being underpaid and overworked.

Well...
I might have actually just ran in covered in toner
with my pants tied around my head and tried
to jump through the window only to find it
was reinforced glass...
but it's practically the same thing.

Anyway...

I have a new job now as a "Rodent anxiety theorist".
It's so exhilarating and I've never felt more fulfilled
as a member of the work force. I spend my days
carefully observing the small critters at the park
to see what makes them tick.

Quite literally the best job ever.

Well...
I guess it technically isn't a "job", as I don't really get paid.
I basically run around throwing acorns at squirrels, then write
down what they do on napkins. They generally run away,
but I think they're starting to mobilize. I've got my eye on them.

Isn't it amazing what you can do when you don't let your
stupid
   oppressive
       restrictive
sanity stop you from doing the things you want?


Just a week ago I left my wife of 12 years. I told her
I couldn't stand her unrealistic expectations anymore.
"Dear, you need to spend more time with your son"
"Dear, we don't talk enough"
"Dear, take out the trash"
"Dear, please stop cutting locks of my hair while I'm sleeping"

Women, am I right?

I'm so much happier now. I'm marrying my dream girl next month.
Literally.
As in she's a girl that only exists in my dreams.
The paperwork will be tricky, but I think I can manage.


Now that my goodfornothing sanity is out of the way,
I can focus on lifelong dreams like
traveling the world
learning a new language
or just running through a mall and seeing how many people
I can squirt with ketchup before security tackles me.
I could never do these things before.

Well...
I guess technically I can't do them "now"
since I'm writing this from my padded cell,
but I know it's only a matter of time
before my new wife gets here with the paperwork.

She's great.

I hope she hurries though...I think I saw a squirrel.

Wait for laughter.
This is an "Adopted Metaphor", I didn't realize that these didn't post to your profile so I copied it over.
Jan 2012 · 1.5k
Semantic Satiation
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
How many times
Can one say
I  m  s  o  r  r  y
before
I  m   s   o   r   r   y
becomes
I      m      s      o      r      r      y
nothing more than
I            m            s            o            r      ­      r            y
individual letters
I                  m                  s                 ­ o                  r                  r                  y
That­ hold no meaning?
Jan 2012 · 1.4k
My Apathetic Brain Pt. 2
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Hey Brain

You again

Yeah...you ready to write now?

Nah

Seriously!?

Throw me a bone, I beg you I plead!
Don't make me grovel from down on my knees!
I want to write verses, stanzas, and rhymes
I want to write odes that span hundreds of lines!
You don't understand the depths I would go
if only you'd let my creativity flow
within me there's power of unfathomable wonder
I will rip apart planets, I'll tear universes asunder!
I want to dip my brush into the paint of my mind
and just go to town until my mind paint is dried.
Paint that will land on more than the canvas
the floor, ceiling and walls will be stained with this madness!

My mind is spinning with various hues
greens, reds, and yellows -- purples and blues
My heart's 'bout to beat right out of my chest
and trust me, dear brain, that'd be a magnificent mess
If I go too much longer, I may go insane
and start writing of kumquats who dance in the rain
with whom are they dancing out there in the rain?
Why, none other than the late Saddam al Hussein
and those kumquats are making Saddam a mite jealous
due to the fact that they have much better moustaches
And why do kumquats have moustaches you wonder?
I'm so glad you asked, 'cause they're from the Down Under
Yes those kumqats were Australian, but they're not long for that land
Tom Selleck just ate 'em.  Rhyme like Yoda, I can

See what you do, when you do this to me?
When the one thing you do is not a **** thing?

My apathetic brain, why must you sit here and fight
Put down your defenses, and
just.
let.
me.
WRITE.

Umm...you just...kinda did

Oh.  Thanks...I think.

*Whatever
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Do you ever have
the strange sensation that a
ninja is watching?
Aside from syllable count, I really have no idea how to write a haiku.  Feel free to offer your advice.
Jan 2012 · 632
Glass
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
There are days when it feels as if the world
is made of glass, and I'm dripping in oil.
Every slick surface reflects back a person
I don't want to see.
I must tread carefully at these times, for
if I'm careless, I will slip
and be shredded by the shattered earth

There are days when it feels as if you are
made of glass, and only I can console you.
I hold you tight, allowing you to
cut through me.
I must not grip too strongly, however...for
if I'm careless, you will shatter
and only shards of you will remain

There are days when it feels as if I am
made of glass, and you can see through me
You see my flaws, and accept me
for who I am
Still, I must be alert for there are
those who would throw stones
leaving you to pick up the pieces

There are days when the world is the world
and we are ourselves.
Those are the days of our lives
worth remembering.
Jan 2012 · 413
Words List 1/10/12
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Day Dreams want a mind
Don't think odd things
Like a memory of  memories
Look...I'm feeling hope
This poem was made from my list of most used words as of 1/10/12.  I might have added a couple articles and prepositions so this would make (some) sense.
Jan 2012 · 590
What an odd feeling
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
What an odd feeling it is
when you happen to look and see
an old and blurry photograph
and you think "How could this be me?"

How odd a feeling it is
when you think back to that day
the you from now wasn't yet then
then you was there to stay

Such an odd feeling it is
when you suddenly realize
that you would look as alien
as then you now looks in your eyes

You've grown and shifted
         your mind has sifted
out your childish ways

            Carefree thoughts
that simply cannot
           exist in your mind today

What an odd feeling it is
to look at that photo and say
who is that kid and however did
he end up here today?
Writing in rhymes is challenging for me.  I feel limited in how I can say things.  This one turned out pretty good, though.
Jan 2012 · 1.1k
Mazes
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Life is  an  amazingly  wonderful   maze,  when   you  t h i n k  about it.
You                                  start   at  the  entrance  n a i v e   and  unaware
of what lies within.         It's  easy to c h e a t in this maze, if  you choose
to walk the e d g e          until  you  get to the  end,  but h o n e s t l y it's
more exciting  just          to  j u m p right  in.  Sure,  you   may  run  into
dead ends                        every   once in awhile,  e v e r y o n e  has  their
dead ends, but it's           easy  for  you to  turn back around, r e t r a c e
your steps and go                             on.   At    times,   the   maze   makes
you   want  to  pull   your  hair        out,  but   for   the  most   part,  you
respect  the  challenge    that it        offers you.You begin to  r e a l i z e
that l i f e                                            isn't  about   finishing  the   m a z e          
it's  about        the path you take to get there. It's  about  The  t h i n g s
you do on       your way  there. It's about all  of the amazing  p e o p l e  
you  meet       while you're travelling.  I think people   forget   that quite
a   bit,   so       the next time you see someone racing through their maze
trying   as       hard as they can to reach the end, remind them that  they
are    only       doing  themselves  a  disservice.   Remind  them that  l i f e
is      what       make of it
                  **You
For the difficulty that life often shows me, that's one weak maze I made up there.
Jan 2012 · 1.3k
Thoughts on Dreams
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Sometimes when I hear about
the dreams of other people
I look at my own and think

I must be superficial.  In their
dreams there are winding paths
and reflections on still pools of water

There are subtle dew drops and
expansive fields of solitude.  They
speak of introspection and self growth

When I hear of the dreams of others,
I wonder what I can reflect on in
my own dreams and can think of
nothing

Then, when I'm depressed at
these thoughts that my mind
is playing against my will
I remember

I wrestled a shark.  how awesome is that?
While I do have those feelings from time to time, I prefer to end on a positive note
Jan 2012 · 998
My Apathetic Brain
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
Are you ready brain?

Hmm?

Are you ready to break the boundaries of thought
and action?  Are you ready to create passages
that move even the heaviest of hearts?  Are
you prepared to exceed expectations?
Are you chomping at the bit
to create  breathtaking
pictures with words?
Are you prepared
to write?

No.

Fine.
Jan 2012 · 963
Another Drink
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
I see her at the party
surrounded by her friends. She's clearly busy..

That's OK, I just need time to work out some
incredibly clever and witty banter.  I'm good
with words.  I can weave letters together into
aural silk.  In the meantime....I should get

Another drink

I see her at the window. an inebriated man
is attempting to woo her, unsuccessfully.
He clearly is unaware of his boorish nature

She looks on.  

I know when I talk to her
I will make her heart dance and her ears
will be massaged with the gentle sounds
of love and adoration.  In the meantime
my cup is empty...I need

Another drink

I see her in the hallway.  The night is nearly over
I walk to her, straight as I'm able through blurry vision

She notices me

I open my mouth, ready to spill forth a tidal
wave of intellect, a hurricane of insight.

"mumblecutemumbleprettymumble"

She walks away

sigh

I need another drink.
Jan 2012 · 1.0k
Knights
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
It's all well and good
to sit and wait for your
knight in shining armor

Passing up all who
don't meet your
particular standards

However,
It might be good to keep in mind
that most men don't own horses
We don't generally have suits of armor, either...
Jan 2012 · 743
Clusterfuck
Joel A Doetsch Jan 2012
I
want something.         I   w a n t
to see your smile,       your skin.  (To)   
love is not simple, but      Your beauty is.....****!
you make me crazy.        All I want is           you
Not really sure where this one came from...
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