I wonder if I ever mattered.
I know I don't know, now
But,
did I ever?

Did the people I tagged along with ever count me as a friend?
Did anyone even see me as having feelings?
Or was a just a means to meet an end?

When reality shattered,
Tears that came were once hope.
Hope,
draining,
streaming out,
Never to return.

I walk alone, as I always have.
Only trusting myself.
I wish I could have someone to tell me I don't need them.
But alas I tell myself.

Every moment.
Every touch.
Every breath.
Everyone.

There are seven billion people on the lonely planet.
Each completely and utterly alone
Only briefly touching each other
Only to seperate again

Everyone is a story
Every face, another tale
Every day, another page
Every step, another word

Seven Billion.
Seven Billion stories simaltaneously being written
Seven Billion Characters.
Seven Billion.

Sonder.
We all are living.

Sonder.
Noun, a realization.

Sonder.
Everyone living a life as vivid and detailed as our own.

Sonder.

I yearn for sunlight on my skin
And gentle breezes tainted
With the salt that
Splashes onto the
Sandy shore to greet the
Fragile toes of children
That gaze at the horizon
And wonder how far it goes.
I need a sea that
Will rock me carefully
Within the soft cradle
Of its light blues and
Always remember that I need
To come up for air.
Baby, these waves are
Becoming too much.
They have forgotten  
Who I am.
They pull me away from
The sun
And rejoice when I cry
Only knowing that
In that moment
We are one in the same,
As salt from my eyes
finds its place within
The navy violence.
A sea of tears
The embodiment of all
My fears and sorrow and hurt,
now lost.
Unidentifiable and inseparable.
These waters are becoming so
Foreign to me.
grasping my body
as they consume me
and forget that
I am fragile and helpless
Against their power.
I need the security of
Sand beneath my
Feet.
I need to learn to walk
On my own again.
I love the ocean
But darling
I am becoming sea sick

A hand over your eyes,
to surprise you.

A hand to your lips,
so that I can say those three words first.

A hand over your heart,
to warm it and to ease it.

A hand on your hips,
to feel you dance.

A hand on your soul,
to witness you full and true.

And not to forget...

My hand in yours,
to let you know,
that I will never leave your side.

That you are not alone,
when facing infinity.

And that I will love you,
for all eternity.

A hand offered in earnest,
to start a journey together,
in a world of endless possibility.

As I said goodbye
I felt the tears about to fall.
So I scuttled away into the hole,
But as soon as I had left
I fell into that trap.
The old one, where you feel nothing but fear.

I had to get out and just stand for a while
But it took me all the strength that I had.
So I shut my eyes loosely
And I thought about things.
Anything that could take me away,
Just something to take me away.

Someone tell me there's a place
Where people go to and feel better.
I wish to go there as soon as I can.
I'm just tired of this life, I'm not living.
Days just fall into each other and
I just want to be alone.

I'm walking swiftly
As if to say I don't wish to talk but
The truth is that I want nothing more.
I'm so scared of opening up, though,
Because I should be happy, you know,
But there's just nothing to be happy about.

All of these thoughts they just fade into each other
But I know one feeling is standing out strong.
So I shut my eyes loosely
And I think about things.
Anything that can take me away,
Just something to take me away.