I am disrespectful
Absoloutley no good
Setting off fireworks
In your head
And handing you
Fast still moments
Of peace
And home
A warm bed
No longer a wilderness sleep
Having a hometown shame
Don't grab me in these moments
With tunes of sorrow
I'll grow
Shattered through the basement window
In a dusty
Locked up box
I found a knife
That folded
Carved with your name

Let’s sit,
the grass is damp.
Hands steady,
lighting up one cigarette
too many.
Let’s smirk
and sob and scream
and throw up
empty beer bottles -
we dream
in starry skies
of shattered glass -
because we’re young enough…
let’s love.
Unbridled, rampant,
a river of
lustful glances
and constant validation
and words in mouths
and second chances
never taken.
Let’s walk,
us filthy animals,
until we reach the
end of the world.

She had fooled them all again;
Hoodwinked them into thinking
She'd be safe outside the locked

Ward; and taking Bronston's cut
Throat razor (he thought he hid
It well) she slit her wrists till

Fountains poured red across her
Clothes and all around; and there
Was that buzzing sound; that voice

Screaming loud inside her head:
I'm free again, free from pain,
Echoing through her freaked out

Brain, slithering along her
Jagged veins, her eyes gazing
At the coming storm of white

And blues; the nurses cursing;
The docs crestfallen over
Their soiled angel, splattering

The room with her crimson rush,
Without care or word or God
****** curse or a shameful blush.

The house once called home is empty
The garden is overgrown and tangled
Circling dragonfly
Falling leaf
Monarch butterfly

The floors no longer echo footsteps
Sunlight floods empty bedrooms

I met a boy in Carolina
with eyes like the Californian sun
He said he wanted to kiss me under the sky
that was made of silk and velvet
I thought the sky looked nothing like silk
Just endless afflictions of stars, like twinkling people
Boundless constriction of atmosphere and something else
not quite reflected back at us
I didn't want to look at the sky because I thought his eyes
shone brighter than any star
with the innocent sparkle of boy-hood
and glee
And I wondered what it was he saw in
me
In my own dark eyes that must've reflected the sea,
some dangerous dark devouring ocean
What made him smile?
Was it my lips?
"Your eyes were always like the moon"
I remember you said
And even though your hands were shaky
Unlike his steady fingers
that did not stutter
sure of themselves in this world
And even if his stance was not
flighty
I could've sworn I saw a little bit of you
In this boy with the southern accent
with eyes like the burning sun
When he lit his cigarette with purpose
And looked at me
The same way you did
With wonder

pointless re-pinings exacerbate my sorrow for paradise lost

at the corner
of the bar
grinning to myself
people yelling
singing
****** songs from the 90s
as i empty
my wallet
broke and drunk as usual
i sit in my busted
throne
watching
and laughing
at what is
and what is not
around me

I believe in romance,
in love
and souls
and spirits.
in everyday, everything
a leaf can move
can touch
can grow.
I believe in forever with you
a forever with
you in the nest
of a bluebird.
love, the bluebird sings.

forgo the happiness
we have history to make