you swallow
sunlight
& no matter how low
your expression
rests
I will always see you
shining
climbing the highest
pines
in our pitch black
hell forest
trying to find me in
the slip from
deep within your chest
& its fierce desire
for youth

I can hear it in
the way you
laugh
when we're alone

I can hear it in
my shallow breath
& the taste
of your cologne

the way you move
your hands
is next to godliness



& I would sell
my soul
sweet dear


to forever be their
witness

when I was not
in solitude
I was out setting fires
to any little
thing
that would burn

there was nothing much
to do
in that town

I drank alone quite often
in my last year of
high school
'cause sometimes the
taste of it was
sweeter
than the words you
would leave me
with

I felt cursed

like you came back
for the sole purpose of
punishing me
for finally forgetting about you
when you had been gone
two years

so I figured
"eye-for-an-eye"
& I took my ticket to
college
the blissful cleansing
of my memory

but life brought me
back home
three years later
& decided to give you
a job at the same store I go to
every week

my gypsy blood is becoming
adamant that this was
in the stars
but we are still so
far apart
from the days we
drank on the midnight streets
& talked about how lovely
music can be

but you are just
so far
from me
& when you're around
its the only thing
I'm imagining

4:17 AM
I prayed we would meet
again

in the hollow of lost
lonely souls
& the fortune tellers
that sell them happy tales
of
growing old

we deal down to
the bone at
night
but you best
believe
I never tried to peddle
my sense of
sight

'cause honey, you were
always there
when I needed you
the most


& I never dared to tell
a dying man
the truth
just to ever get
that close

there are so many
horrid
ways for the
kind
loving
& innocent
to die



& all of which
I wonder
is




why
why
why

the past
has long passed





& its all undone, baby

she dreamed of sweet
& beautiful
things
skipping across planets
kissing the
stars
as they passed her by


she drank herself
dizzy
from hollow asteroids
& stumbled into
the arms of a celestial
king


every so often when
her eyelids would
flutter
& she felt time move
ever so slowly
she'd realize the gist
& jest of it all
waking to find her hands
tied as she dangled
from the ceiling
***** feet scraping the floor


morphine dreaming


the genie appeared
not a smile in his gaze
but a sick
satisfaction
& asked her for the third and
final wish

"where am I?"
she whispered, vocally
& spiritually
drained

he pressed his
brittle lips
to her
trembling forehead
"sleep"
he said
as he drank the blood
from her bare
pale neck


& under she went
above to the
stars


home sweet home

every so often I must
disconnect
from nearly all communication
when I find that I am not only
unhappy with myself
but also filled to the brim with
resentment
of the happiness I see in
the ones I love
sometimes
no news
can be the best news


did you know in some
studies
solitary confinement
was found to ease the worst
cases of depression?


I'm just kidding
I made that up
I don't really know


but I'd rather be alone
than read another
word
of your perfect
picket fence
life