where the **** is she?
how long does it take to get three things at the store?
finally, there she is.
thanks, now I'm going to be late for work!
& I don't even have time to eat now.
there was a long line?
sure there was.

sure, whatever I'll take a sandwich
uh, why are you trying to hand this to me?
I'm getting ready for work
where the **** is my shirt?
what do you mean you don't know?
you had to have moved it
its never where I put it
are you ******* kidding me?
why would you set the sandwich on the couch?
that's just stupid

did you see how much gas was left in the car?
WONDERFUL now I'm gonna be even more late
it doesn't matter if you were in a hurry, you could have checked

oh my shirt was by my chair where I left it
okay, so that was ONE thing you didn't do wrong today
& I'm still the one with a job!
you don't try hard enough to get one
tell me how you do
tell me





tell me

she wrote you down
a little note
& tied it to a little boat
sent it out to sea

the wind it
craves
the moon it
slaves
over the taste of
salt
in the deep



the magic lies
like the
sand in her
hair


but she can never
quite get it out
of her head






you were always so inviting

the summer disperses into
the asphalt
you disperse into my
conscience
& I cannot carry on


the sky was raw with
your pain
a pale blue and silent
agony
just before the dawn


the wind will shift in
your favor
& I'll waver in my
courage
to say you're wrong


the full moon seen in
the daylight
are all the words I ever
needed
to tell you of my song

oh oh oh
carnal instincts are beckoning
give it one last try
he saw you in the proper moonlight
he saw your hopes die

its drawing him in

I wonder if he knows
I wonder if he feels
deep blood drawn in the shallow end
throwing rocks at muddy water
the taste of his bare skin

curiosity crests just before
the dawn

& if you take the slightest peek
my dear
you can bet
he'll soon
be




gone

the morning wake-up call
from a horrifying dream sequence
the kind where you slowly sit up in silence
& stare at the wall
too shocked to make a sound

the nightmare was in itself normal
everyone was kind to me
but it felt untrue
they all had daggers hidden
deep in their palms
ready to strike at my slightest
faltering

I made my coffee and dove
into the online world
where he found me as a green dot
on the screen
sought me out and mentioned
that fate had once again not been
our mutual friend
& he had walked in my mother's
door just as I had left
the other day

the tears welled up
casting colorlessly behind my hair
I knew it too
I saw his car hiding in the back
but I kept on driving
I had to go




I had to go





now my hands are shaking
another outcome of
too much java
& not enough sustenance
he kept asking what was wrong
what was wrong
its all wrong, honey
& I'm two short tiptoes from
driving into
an open field
clutching unharvested crops
& screaming until my
lungs give
out




I should have stayed

she had dreams about the world
coming to an end
but she quickly forgot them
as she never cared for
final farewells




for the first time in years
she wasn't afraid to walk through
the damp and ***** earth
past the train tracks
for a taste of true beauty
if only you'd been there to see




she longs to sleep underneath the sky
she longs for stolen breath
that cleverly crafted first move
whether it be a look
a touch
a kiss
hell, even a word
to stop her lungs for just an instant




speak of all that's unforgiving
in this land
speak of your hands
upon her thighs
she'll promise to keep it
between you
the earth
& all the stars

tomorrow
it will have been ten years since
my late aunt's mental instability proved
to be the nail in her own coffin
her four youngest children were all taken away
in a police car
right before my very eyes
& right on John-John's birthday
we were all going out for ice cream
when the sheriff pulled up
I wonder if he still remembers it
the look of horror on my mother's face
we'd been caring for them for some time
my oldest cousin got to stay behind
he was old enough to fend for himself
but the two boys and the baby twin girls were gone like that


I didn't see them for five years
the heavens graced our family and kept them all together
through the help of a wonderful family nearby
one day they all drove down when I was 17
it was one of the happiest moments of my life
to see that those boys who were like my little brothers
were suddenly towering over me


though tomorrow I know will be rough
it feels rough today
& I can see that the boys feel it too
I often wonder what that **** woman was thinking
if it was just too much for her
if she couldn't deal
her body was found in the morning
the day before I graduated college
she was always taking pills
she always hated my guts
always screamed at me
she instilled within me the fear of life
but now she's gone
leaving behind broken children
loved, but damaged