interest piqued
breath fully swept
& a longing look to seal
the damages.
I took a long, hard drink
& watched the city swell and subside
I left everyone in my old world tonight

everyone except you

I filled myself with Samuel Adams
& the flavor of my newly altered daydreams
sailing the seven seas
with *** and songs and love
no longer ****** about the sand in my shoes

I'm too mad here, too bitter
I have to taste the summer air out where
your eyes shine the brightest
when no one is watching you but me
come sink under my covers
sink under my skin
where your words stop
is where my lips begin
breathe deep against your neck
& breathe in
I swear I could live forever
on your fingertips
all we have is only above the
surface of our flesh
& we are old and tired at our
tender ages


rest a while
for once



I'll wake you when its time
to run
for our lives

she was sickened by the fire
burrowed deep under your skin
you called her to the circus
& you begged her to come in

the calm before the storm
the sweat beneath her brow
the way she danced beneath the moon
& you never quite knew how

she graced the ground
you tore her dress
my god, my dear
it was so effortless

the reluctant grin of defeat
blushed lips and collarbone
the twisting and turning of exposed limbs
never left well enough alone

she feared the dawn
like an owl in flight
for when the sun met your eyes
you swore against the lustful night

so she left to dig
her shallow grave
& prayed never again
your soul could be saved

heaven help me
from the terrorizing




t                                                                  
w                                                      
i                                        
s                            
t                                
i                                        
  n                                                
            g                                                                  



                                                      
t
          u                
r                
n                      
i              
n    
    g





TREMENDOUS





*labyrinth

the shifting wind
gave way to a cooler night
but I laid in bed
sleepless
& sweating away
withdrawals from my self-proclaimed
ban on smoking

wide awake in silence
is the worst place to be
if you think like I do
every ache flooding in underneath
the door
the bleeding in my recollection
as if I'd gone so many years
in a cloud of amnesia
it all began to play back on
the silent film reel

the first time you heard me sing

the night I punched you and didn't know what for

when you invited me to meet your band

the tears that fell from your eyes and onto my doorstep

the tears from mine when you went back to her

your fingers in my hair when we were in class

the ***** shots we took on the sidewalk
& you said you loved my poetry

the second tear-stained doorstep
& you went back to her the next day

when you spent the night in my room
& we slept seven feet away from each other
because we were cursed with our loyalty to our lovers

the day she found out
& told you to stay away from me

the day you married her and I locked myself in my bathroom
with a bottle of wine and a handful of pills

my wedding day
you showed up alone and hugged me for too long
in front of God and my husband
my wedding night
when I apologized for punching you years ago
& you kissed my hair

new year's eve
when you invited me over 'cause she was gone
& you held me while we laughed at
Pulp Fiction




these are the things I can never tell you
these are the things that only matter to people like me
who tend to love far too much
in all the wrong places



in quiet dark rooms
while the whole world is asleep

someone took a knife
to my neck
I think it might have
been me
dried blood on my hands
& I never noticed
until the red ran from the sink
the color cast into darkness
swimming down
to a new home in the earth


we ain't what we used to be
& the sun shines only
when we don't talk about it


someday I'd like to go to bed
knowing somebody's gonna kiss me
while I sleep
the unknown terrifies me the
most
& when I get scared I stand
completely still
refusing to move
or look
or listen



he caught me crying
I lied about what for
we all went back inside
& I slammed the screen door

I put my hair up today
some things just have to change
whether I want them to or not

he blamed me for the belt again
shouting 'cause he lost it two days ago
& the only fault for its disappearance must be my own
the crazy thing is
I almost believe him
the feeling of guilt rising through my throat
an almost apology
but I choked and celebrated silently
when he finally left

just kidding
I closed the door
shouted "good ******* riddance"
made a cup of coffee
& put my hair up





some things just have to change
but I fear it

there shouldn't be any
shame in it
we all get frustrated
stub our toes
scream at nothing

I scream a lot
but nobody hears
'cause I feel uncomfortable
when I'm loud so I'll wait
'til I'm in my car
alone

you take one step
in my half-open door
& I'm thrown into bewilderment
sneaking out through the
fire escape
before you can see who
really lives here

Cinderella story
only my feet had been bare
the entire time
& I'd left my glass heart
at the dance instead
& you could never figure out
who it belonged to

the only thing to do
with love
is to believe in it
but I live in this world
where so many things are
false
& you keep reminding me
of things that
aren't

drinking contests
midnight swimming
catching ourselves looking at
one another

that imaginary question
the screaming in my head






"Do you believe?"