Rode the dog. From podunk to new.york

My introdutory mugging was all that I dreamed of and more.

32 stitches and a mild concussion

Bright lites big city goin to my head.

Got a job running #s and a rap sheet too


What's a guy going to handle when his rent is due


Bright lights big city going to my head
I don't care cause you don't. Care

I swear to god
it seems like friends
are hardly ever the people
we expect them to be
they stab you in the back
and then offer you some bleach
to help get the blood stain out of your shirt.
-

pouring out my heart
into your glass cup--
emotions ferment over time
soon you runneth over
drowning in a taste once sweet
to the ears,
a heart-healthy concoction of poetry
and lame jokes about "what"
once able to warm your body
now tastes bitter like a rotten cheese
of moldy frowns
stinging like shards of passive aggressive glass
in the back of your throat.

after everything is gone
I feel empty--
alone
like one of those cheap bottle's of tuesday night sauvignon blanc
discarded next to my bed--
swilled in under a half-hour
because taste is irrelevant--
just using it for dizzy forgetfulness
waiting in bed next to me
for the opportunity
to kiss me with puke breath
and wrap my head in tender aching nausea .
  
Feeling used as I drift off
into a series of hazy dreams
only to be forgotten in the morning.

popcorn venom-
no I
won't, you dumb
c----

watching you become
daunted by my
expectations.

truth-
can't let anyone
down if you

throw
back  the
catch
without eating
it.

You will not leave me.

This isn't a statement of confidence.
Believe me when I say my faith in you,
Wavers every day.
When I say you will not leave me,
This is what I mean-

Twice a day you will look at the time and wish you hadn't.

Wood chips will now be more than splinters to you.

Station wagons will drive not only to places real, but they will drive you insane.

Record stores will be graveyards, hosting tombstone after tombstone of vinyl records.

You will not leave me, because even if you do, I will not leave you.

I am a tree
Whose roots have smuggled their way into the sediments of your life.
I have grown too tall for you to up-root me now.

And her presence will not
Fill the voids left by me;
I am not dirt, meant to
Fill the holes you dig.
We are puzzle pieces
and we fit where
We belong and

She does not belong in
the same space as I do.

If you leave,
I will not want you back.
If you leave
I would want you to
let me be to deal
with my own doings please.

I have loved you
Even as you left me.
I have stayed
I have watched
You, drift to and from me
Like the sea to the shore.
My involvement with
You, has been relentless.

What you don't realize is that
I have loved you with a rigor
Thicker than my head.
But

You will not leave me, because even if you do, I will not leave you.