Something about a cigarette and a cappuccino
gives me solace
but not more than the layers of my bed.
I know it’s all “in my head”
but when did
losing you
become worse than
losing myself
selfishly
I drag on
I drag on
I drag on

like the dragons breath
out comes the
smoke and flame
and with it
my dignity
and affinity for you, myself, and everyone else

Something about a cigarette and a cappuccino
keeps me at bay
but not like you did
its not the end of may anymore
but the beginning of June
and with it I come out of ruin
ashes fall out of my lungs
cancerous
I don’t know it now
but my eyelids
won’t close tonight
and instead
in fright and flight
I fight with myself
I plead with my psyche to think about all
the infinite world of nothings
that seem to ease my mind
I should come with a warning:
be kind
I’ve been hurt before
and wouldn’t find
it terribly wrong
if you would,
or could
find it in yourself to
love me
just
one time more

Something about a cigarette and a cappuccino
gives me solace
but not more than the layers of my bed.
I know it’s all “in my head”
but when did
losing you
become worse than
losing myself
selfishly I
drag on
drag on

I quit.

In a few weeks it will be the
“One-year Anniversary of the Night of the Beginning of My First Love”
What a title right?

In a few weeks I bet I’ll still bring you up when I get drunk on boxed wine
Mumbling about high school summertime together on my back porch
Or of you breaking my heart at a ****** campus party.

But in a few weeks I’ll probably still love the part of you
That helped me fall back in love with some parts of me.
And that's alright.