I don't know my head seems to be all over the place at the moment I try not to write but my pen keeps calling. The inks deep in thought as the words start pouring out.


Take a canvas hears the brush paint my life for me make the picture look happy as everyone I see, tell a story with this picture that's so perfect to see, hears a pen and a book write my life for me.


Try to imagine my perfect life in this broken book that you write for me. I try to be quiet and keep my self to me, but the more I be quiet I draw more attention to me.


My thoughts remind me I'm a miss fit I don't fit, I'm lost in this puzzle that's all around me. My mind is a puzzle everyday is a struggle find me the missing piece please to solve this puzzle.


The anger building up inside me it's confusing how I think, my thoughts are shattered broken up and weak, my Hatred keeps searching for answers to questions that break me.


I'm poison what can I say stay away from this poison, I'm better off Alone no cuddles for me in the morning. I'm the snow flake that melted cause they forgot to tell me it was not snowing.


All alone in this heat where's all the snow that created me my destines been chosen a melting road awaits me.


JidosReality 10.6.15

No body understands addiction unless you stopped missing what you've been missing.

Hears a half empty broken bottle of cider show me how to fix it? Take a sip have a taste ask me why I crave it?

Show me how to hold onto this broken bottle and teach me how to pour it. Whisper in my ear tell me how to drink it. 

You say it's an addicts addiction! Others say it's a medical condition! 

I say it's a habit gone bad overtaking every thought my mind is thinking, why it's always missing memory's that are always searching.

You say the words it's so sad, I say this broken bottle of cider is all I need in my hand. It's not all iv ever hade. But it's road is  long and sad.

It seems to take me to a place were all my control has gone mad. This broken bottle is nearly empty do you have any money you can lend me?

One day when I'm ready I'll ask this craving to leave me. I'll take this broken bottle and hide it some were it cant see me.

Are you drunk? Or are you high? Do you stumble around until you fall down and cry? 

Do you ever wonder why this bottle is broken but always smiles! 

And When you find the broken missing pieces to this bottle.

Ask them why this bottle always made me cry. 

JidosReality 6.6.14

My body is craving, wishing for a drink, alcohol saved me than took me on a depressed road on a suicide trip.


You start reading this poem and than start to think! How could alcohol have saved him? When it broke him and turned him into a thirsty lunatic addict?


My words become poison with a bottle on the table and a drink in my hand fighting with my demons getting as drunk as I can.


I'm angry and fuming  not stopping and thinking, I'll lash out at you if you try to stop me from drinking. You have all these answers but your questions are misleading.


You think that you helping by telling me I'm being selfish? My body is craving uncontrollably shaking. All you see is addiction a problem that needs fixing.


If my craving never took me to a place that's confusing, I would of been lost in a drunken state, losing.


My phone would start ringing and suicide would be calling, knock knock at the door suicide won't stop stalking, I would of given up and ended six feet in the dark.


This alcohol addict had to realise what I would of lost, I had to be strong or ashes to ashes dust to dust.


JidosReality 19.3.15

Your heart is my love always has me smiling and thinking this love is amazing. You can not be replaced you my world my everyday.

Good Times because of you priceless words I love you how can I show you how I feel? And how amazing you make me feel? The only way I know this Poems for you and only you.

I remember my world was upside down twisted and bruised, I felt all alone my world was all gloomy and blue, it was a cracked broken reflection I held the mirror so many questions didn't know what to do.

My life was tainted that cloudy picture badly painted, memory's I want lost to be thrown away hidden in the dark, but if I could if I really could I wouldn't go back and change the past.

They all still look at me and see an old nail covered in rust, when you look at me your eyes whisper love from your sweet heart.

I lost the plot decided to stop forgot what life was all about, I was always sad very mad I suppose I was angry at the life I had I had given up I closed my heart cause I could smell and feel it rot.

You came my way and told me it's okay, you gave me life you gave me a reason to want to stay you saved me from the madness that I was feeling everyday.

Good Times because if you and I'll end thus poem by telling you i love you.

JidosReality 26.6.15

Cold breeze in the summer time warm sun on my skin, blue sky's up above all my senses are tingling.


my eyes are amazed by the sight that they see, it feels like iv been picked up and dropped in a day dream.


A day dream that cannot scream, my eyes are Peaceful as they could ever be, a sight that's amazing as the warm sea running against my feet.


My touch creates a rush blushing goose bumps like a red rose blooming some were in my heart.


The sense that I'm feeling of everything around me that's alive and living is making my touch create memories that remind me that life is truly amazing.


I smell the roses and the violets and the sweet smell that attracts the bees, the salty air fromthe sea blowing around in this cool breeze.


I can taste the smell from my nose the seas so salty it's blue and it glows, taste buds coming alive water drops cuddling this dry mouth of mine.


So many sounds from different places from many places these sounds are created.


Birds humming away children filled with laughter as they play. Ice cream vans play their tunes the soft wind whistles through


The blue sky speaks with silence my "Peaceful Soul is now peacefully smiling.


JidosReality 19.6.15

As my mind twists and turns Deep within inside, My Broken soul has no were to run away and hide.

From all these fear’s my tears create from running down my eye’s, If only I was taught how to laugh then maybe these tears would be a memory I’ll never ever want to be lost.

I’m scared of loneliness I’ve got no one there to love my heart I don’t even have my name on any ones Christmas card.

I’ve lost everything every one I’ve ever loved I took for granted everything they did for me back in the past. The future holds nothing for me but pain trapping me in the dark.

My poor souls crying out can you help me because I’m lost, can you fill this emptiness that I’m feeling in my heart.

I just want it to stop. I don’t want it to ro. I don’t want it to take away the little happiness I have left in my heart.

Because if it’s taken away it will be gone it will be lost, It will never come back to my broken beating heart.

I hope you like my honesty I just don’t know where to start. I’m only looking for love that thing that protects and always warms up your Heart.


Jidos Reality 13.10.11

There is something that i need to let u know, you not only my best mate you are my lover, the only happiness my heart knows.

You are the reason I smile it is amazing when you hold me tight, when you cuddle up to me all day and every night.

This smile is a memory that makes me feel wanted all the time. Every time u touch me I feel a rush deep within my soul, I care for you and I love the trust that we have built.

You are my one and only you are my everything my world. From the first day until today and every other day I will always love you and make sure you are ok.


Want to hold you when you are lonely and be the reason you smile, I will always be there for you whenever you need a shoulder to cry on.

Love you and only you always


Jidos Reality