They boil up inside
   unable to escape
I want to scream
   I want to run
      run from my emotions
         my feelings
I feel as if I am suppressing them
   but the problem is
      I have no problems
Everyone writes about
   loss
        love
              death
                      mourn­ing
That is my problem
   I have never
      lost
         loved
            no one has died
               or mourned of my own
That is it
   I am surrounded
      by those screaming for help
         those suffering heart ache
but I sit here
   thinking thoughts that are not my own
                   I want to scream

I have this bubble
   ready to burst,
I need to tell someone
   but what is there to tell...
I have nothing to say,
   no confession to make,
      no promise to break...
Just an overwhelming hole,
   a hole that gets bigger
      with every passing moment...
I feel depressed but about what?
   There is nothing wrong,
      no lover or broken heart,
         no loss, death or mourning...
                                                     ­    But if so why is there a hole...
Why can I write poems that speak of things beyond me....

I want to *scream...

There is a dip at the center of my mattress
from night after night of sleeping alone,
gravity, like the weight of loneliness,
has made it sink down.
If the day ever comes that I share my bed with another,
the dip in the middle will bring us closer together while we sleep.
As if I had to endure all the lonely nights just to sleep so close to someone.
I’ll keep waiting for that day,
and the longer I wait, the lower the dip gets.
Maybe one day I’ll find someone to share the dip in my mattress with.

Or maybe I should just flip my mattress.

Clear your thoughts
like a break in the clouds.
Memories float by
until you’re left with nothing
but an open sky,
a star to wish upon,
a constellation to recall,
and the blackness to remind us
we are all so very small.

Your words ring out leaving me confused.
Fulfilling my dreams and hope anew.
But the same lie a million times,
can never be true.

It slips through the cracks of your perfect smile.
Caressing my ears to the sound of denial.
Weeding its way inside my mind.
Plucking my heartstings to the rhythm of lies.

So swallow your words while I choke on formalities.
While you’re ******* lies, I’m drowning in reality.
The waves are crushing, dragging me under.
Your betrayal; the storm and the roaring thunder.

They’re calling me home.

I can fake my identity and try to look happy,
but its all just a cover.
Take a swig from the flask and remove the last mask
only to find another.

There was once a time when I knew myself,
but now I'm not so sure.
All semblance of self-worth lay eroding in the dirt,
and its all thanks to her.

It's not really her fault, I'm truly to blame.
I grew selfish out of fear.
Afraid of being alone, I couldn't let her go
and now she's nowhere near.