I saw this coming
so long ago.
Your eyes
told me so.

If only you knew
How I truly feel
If only you saw
through my facade

I hide out of fear
of what you might think
of what you might say
reading you is so hard.

We lie to each other
so very much
shocking to know
I know.

I'm terrified to
open up my feelings
for you.
To you.
Afraid, so afraid.

I know my heart
and it is true
It knows I have
Always loved you.

26 letters make words
And words make sentences
And sentences make phrases
And phrases make paragraphs
And paragraphs make stories
And if you're lucky,
Stories turn into songs.

Songs state emotions
Emotions cause feelings
But feelings cause emotions
It's an endless repeating pattern of thoughts.
Thoughts make us human
But so does the brain
The heart
Pumping the life to our veins.
But why do we live
Why do we thrive
Why do we wonder about the time that goes by
Time is aging
Aging is growing
But growing means we eventually all die.
Why do we die
But why do we live
Why can't we control the pain that we give
To ourselves
To our lives
It all makes us cry
Why do we cry
Why do we tear
Why do we force ourselves to listen to things we don't want to hear
Why go through torture
Why go through sorrow
When death could easily be the best thing about tomorrow.

No. Stop. Please. Don’t call me nice or strong or admirable. Because I’m not. I smile and laugh when you joke and tease me, but on the inside it hurts and shakes up my self esteem. You call me strong but that’s while you ignore the silent tears rolling down my cheeks. Admirable? Only because I know how ****** it feels to be on the receiving end if I were to act and speak the way my mind wanted to. I try to sit pretty, laugh and give witty comebacks, but I keep having to bite my lip and blink rapidly up at the ceiling so the tears don’t flood out. But do you see that? No. Because you’re scared of my breaking down. You don’t know how to react when someone who comes off as sturdy and laid back as I do falls apart. That’s how everyone reacts when I get shaken. They pretend not to see. People say whatever they wish to my face because they think I can take it and not be hurt by it. But it does hurt. Especially when you say bad things about people I love, especially when I’m already hurting over them. I wish people would just once watch my face when they decide to say those things about my family, friends or me. I wish people would just once see the pain that quivers in my eyes, or the tightening jaw and bleeding lips. I wish just once..someone would stop mid-sentence when they see me shaken, and just pull me in for a hug.

Choke him down, swallow contently
Do not fight for he is your fate
Confined eternally inside those walls
Go ahead, jump in and lose yourself
Drown in him fully, he is now your home
You're in love with him
The monster develops the madness
You can no longer escape
Weakness ensues
No chance of redemption
Repent

She watched the clock and traced the bruises that peppered her pale skin
She counted the days till the end and kept track of her every sin
When the sun was up, she was a lamb: lovely, kind, polite
At night she was a lioness, with a quick and vengeful bite
She drowned in wine and whiskey, and a cigarette here or there
She wasted her time with silly boys, but to love, she wouldn’t dare
Her life was short and meaningless, but she refused to give up control
Until that tragic midnight hour when the sadness took its toll
So that night she finished her drink, and with God, she made a truce
And without looking back, she gave herself to the loving embrace of a noose

Sitting in my room
Blue walls facing white
I listened to a tune
To deafen out their fight
A mother and a daughter
No longer see eye to eye
Her mothers cries don't stop her
As she spouts out more lies
I wish that I could stop this
But I am powerless right now
I wish that I could fix this
But I really don't know how
I listen to the lyrics
He sings about his wife
About death and how he fears it
Since his wife took her own life
So sad this world has felt all this pain
And we simply feel a small part
But we burry deep all our shame
And we throw away all the bad into the earths heart
So quietly I'll swallow it down
Not so fast
Because I don't wont to drowned
Beneath this devouring past