I've been losing a lot of weight recently, and I fully understand why.
It's not because I feel like my stomach's to big, or there's to much fat on my thighs...
It's because I don't eat my lunch-- no this isn't a plea for help.
All this is is a chance for someone to explore my mental health.
The lunch bell rings and I trudge my way to the cafeteria day by day.
Head straight to the line, grab my sandwich, milk and head on my way.
Beeline to the seat before anyone notices me.
Sit down, take one bite and then I start to see.
I can't help but look around when I'm sitting there all alone.
Or feel the stares back at me as if I'm sitting in the danger zone.
You see nobody pays much attention when you're with a clique or a group,
but the moment no one is with you, all heads turn as if they're stuck on a loop.
And when you're like me- battling with social anxiety,
Every stare can feel like a dagger, you begin to feel each eye as if you were all that mattered.
After maybe one bite of my lunch I'd get up quickly, toss away my tray and leave.
Head bowed down hoping that no one still notices me.
But leaving the cafeteria I find myself back on a battle ground
For I still have to sit in silence, waiting for the lunch bell to sound.
When you go through three weeks like this, something begins to catch your eye.
You're no longer filled out, every breath becomes a sigh.
But even then you know you still can't help yourself
You're stuck in a battle, get away from the stares or help your health.