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2.8k · Jun 2015
not-so secret love
Jess F Jun 2015
I know you still love her.
I know you sneak out to see her.

I know she was your first love.
I know you never loved me.

I know you left.
I know you think I wouldn’t notice.

I know you’re going to see her.
I know you didn’t leave a note.

I know you’re not coming back.
I know you’ve already met with her.

*I saw you jump.
about a partner having a 'love affair' with self destruction and suicide
Jess F May 2016
i swear to god you took all the stars with you when you left.
i know this because when i lay where we used to lay together to watch the abyss that is the sky, all i can see is black.
there are no longer those tiny dots of burning hope and happiness scattered across my view.
all i can see is black.
i actually used to like black, but as soon as you sent that ******* message i ran and burnt everything i owned that happened to be anywhere near that dismal shade.
we used to point out the beauty in every person we saw on the street.
now every time i leave the house i scowl at every human i see, for every pair of eyes i see just remind me of yours.
you used to stroke my skin, you loved how that movement could give me goosebumps.
every time i'm cold i feel like setting myself on fire just so i don't have to look at those little ******* bumps that i declared belonged to your hands.

i opened up my heart to you.
my heart reached out to yours, and then you disappeared.
what resulted was me laying on the pavement, bleeding and crying out for help that i ******* knew would not be coming.
249 · Oct 2015
fortress
Jess F Oct 2015
i've built a ******* tower around my heart and i seem to have lost the key.

it's been months now and no prince charming has come to save me, no big bad wolf to blow down the walls.

some days i feel the walls crack a tiny bit, though they mend themselves in no time.

but lately i've felt the walls towering up, higher and higher, trapping me deep within. as more and more bricks are added to the structure, the more i am disconnected and strange.

lately i'm starting to prefer being alone, and i don't like it.

this stupid ******* fortress that you drove me to make will be my undoing.
3/9/15

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