They say time stops in a black hole
but who is they and what do “they” really know

What I’ve learned here on earth is time stops when I am with you

in sheets or
the back of a car or
a living room or
darkness

Warm flesh melting
we are dripping
ticking

The way you tilt your head back with parted lips
and let something loose from the core of your stomach

and the way your eyelids flutter and roll
like you are a wave I am riding out perfectly

The way you tangle your fingers into my hair
and hold my hips in the palm of your hand like
this is it

writhing and uncomplicated

people speak of passion

I speak of lust and
want and
this is it

The way you bite into my neck like
you wish you could draw blood
but instead you bring marks to the surface that stay for days
leaving me with a scarlet harlot letter

and the weight of your hand on the back of my head
pushing you further into me
until my nose rests on your skin
and I can feel the tight tendons in your leg and
this is

it

His hands were as long as legs,
god, the kicks
could bruise my skin
but I learned them like planets. I can’t hate eyes on me
so much if they are like a telescope,
stargazing. Some
have purple freckles, are healing, and I can
think of those who hurt me
as children who
think they want to be astronauts
but are scared of the dark. So, the blue
sky walks
slowly down the aisle to night when I mention
maybe my constellations are too much like veins to
be seen yet. Who do I
save by making
him
not want to rip me open and **** out my
gravity again?
Sometimes he reminds me that
dark matter is not
the space between two people, but the color of their
skin when they touch. So, I
wish he would not touch me and
slide planets inside that hurt to stay in orbit.

I fear rejection
Yet I told you how I felt
And now I'm waiting here
With this nothingness
And that's one problem
With speaking through glass screens
But every time I speak to you
I find myself anxious
And I feel like I'll get rejected
But I usually
Reject myself
Before I get rejected by anyone else

I’m sorry you fell for me in July
I’m sorry you kissed me in August
I’m sorry I broke your heart in September

I remember we first met in a parking lot in Lynchburg
and your skin burned a warm caramel in the sun

we went to the forest and walked on the trails
and I think you almost bent me over on a little wooden bridge
but instead I pulled you between my legs and kissed you
and your perfect gleaming teeth

we ran the trails
me in my beat up purple vans
and my beat up black and blue heart

and you with your pristine tye dye shirt
and the hard abs underneath
cross lateralled over bone

and because of you my favorite flower is now a
bright and vivid sunflower

we broke into an abandoned house
and laid in the dark on the cool floor

and I took pictures of you as you played earl sweatshirt

like hey maybe one day we could live in a place like this
and just...
be

but that was all before I crushed you
with the weight of my heavy heart

and left you in a pool of blood on the floor
of that abandoned house

and seemingly never looked back

You did a really good impression of my dad
by walking out of the front door
and never looking back

and I think that’s quite why
I was so interested in you in the first place

you talk like a man
and walk like a ghost

and you disappear every afternoon around 5 pm
and you don’t show up until a little after 12 am

and you left me home with my mother
and this loaded gun

But they say home is where the heart is
and yours has since run cold

I guess a life of ease isn't meant for a sinner like me.