My mind bends

Into shapes I can not comprehend

Thoughts untamed

Like a feather dancing in the wind

This cycle

Is a bridal

Between the outside world

And the reality within

A  journey that has no beginning

And won’t tell you where it ends  

This circle

Leaves my face purple

From the lack of oxygen

I  inhale

But don’t exhale

To no let the toxins in

But holding my breath

Is death

It shares the same skin

Two different paths

That Equal the same math

A game

Where no one wins

My patience has gone apollo
Strung on gold
With strength untold
Aimed at the heavens  
And shot with a crossbow
Now lost in time and space
To get consumed by back holes
Spoiled fruits of the past
Rot my insides hollow
To where I can’t do nothing
Because it’s out of my control
Even though
I give it my up most
Searching hard for the treasure
Like Indiana Jones
So I can pay the devil his 10 percent
And he can leave me alone
But no mater how much I pay
I never payoff what I
Owe
So  
I use a life line
And make a call to the man who turn water
into red wine
To beg for some more time
Before I have to go
But no one ever seems to pick up the telephone
All I get is 3 rings
Followed by a dial tone
An internal investigation
Where the answers I don’t know
Am I destined to suffer?
In this life or another  
Is it all set in stone
Or can I chisel my own path
A one different from what was told
These questions
Man these questions
Are burning up my soul
To temperatures so hot
That it glows through the cold
Im slipping
Trying to come to grips with something I can’t hold
I’m drifting
Down into this endless rabbit hole
Im wishing
I can get back all that I sold
Keep it for myself
Nurture it and watch it grow
But NO
I can’t
Not because I’m stuck in my ways
But because just the other day
God actually called back
Spoke his truth through the zodiacs
And I could hear it in his voice
As I try to visualize a face
That what he had to say was.....
All bad

On a hot day
You my strawberry acai with lemonade
When I feel boxed in
I escape
To you
Because you are my special place
You are my sky
When the blues start to fade
My yellows
When the sun hides behind the shade
My reds
When it slowly sets through the haze
My greens
When the grass is set ablaze
Hell on earth
But you heaven made
Im carved up
So my guards up
But you penetrate
My metal gates
Work my demons out like iron weights
You keep me calm
When I'm afraid
Never knew love
Only hate
But that all change when I met you
I guess its fate

You make me violent
Meditation should help
So I go ahead and try it
Four blanks walls
Trying to shelter me from violence
Ungodly hours
When god is explained through the science
I feel so small
Like David against Goliath
Looking for peace
But it’s impossible to find it
When revealing the truth  
Also exposes the lies that bind it
They don’t deserve me
They don’t deserve my kindness
So I let them walk in the dark
While I dance through the Blindness
I guess this is what living in a poor state
With a poor state of mind is

I’m tired of all back and forth politics
It makes me sick
Like spring
When the pollen hits
Words get manipulated
Bend like contortionist
How unfortunate
That we speak the same language
But entirely different dialects
This is not a test
And if it was
The answer wouldn’t be no or yes
Fill in the blanks
To what you think is best
No wrong answer
So you try to guess
No wrong answer
But your Incorrect

It’s not difficult to put two and two together
To know it won’t go the distance
But insist we still measure
Like if we pretend that we care just enough
We could possibly do better
But I didn’t want tomorrow or a just a few weeks
I was in it for forever
Then everything got misconstrued
The man I said I would never be
I ended up becoming worst then that dude
Trying not to jump to conclusions
But i would always conclude
Trying to stay to true to self
While trying with you
Was impossible
When you were in an impossible mood
Promises were always broken
Lies were beautifully spoken
Doors to our skeletons that were shut closed
Were now exposed to the open
Leaving me to find the right words
To bring us back into focus
Words that don’t exists
So why do we persist?
Even though
We know there is no meaning to this *******br>

There has been so much turbulence
It took me a while to find calm skies to finally be circling
Obstacle after obstacle
My body was fatigue off the hurdling
Only thing that kept me going
Was the good memories
But even those were in jeopardy
As I found the nightmares more nourishing
I found myself not wanting to drive no more
Rather be chauffeured by all my demons
Who manipulated my feelings behind closed doors
Hard to argue when they were always better on the track  
Even though stops signs were ignored
But I was down for the ride
Seatbelt unbuckled
Doubts I had a couple
Quiet was the tunnel
Loud was the collide
My life rolled like film right before my eyes
Out of body experience
I was delirious inside
And I was disgusted on what I saw
I mean the tickets were free
But I wanted to refund it all
So many regrets piled on regrets
Playing Russian roulette with my life's crystal ball
Just because I was too weak to form a fist
Too spineless to stand tall
But that was the old me
A *****
It took a near death experience to final wake me up
and push me
And it felt amazing to revolt
To take the noose that strangled and dangled across my throat
And use that piece of string to find footing
Like touring on tight ropes
The same monster that tried to **** me
Now gives me hope
The same place that broke me
Now shows me the truth through the smoke