Crunching over the surface,
the bold warriors go
wave after wave of custard
will not fill the men with woe
rhubarb in abundance
doesn't slacken their resolve
any sprinkled sugar
with their sweat they will dissolve
though relentlessly they battle on,
the end it will come soon
"for heaven's sake men,mind the ****** spoon......."

A weird yellow car rammed a crane in the storm
the best  I could think of to try and perform
I know it is lazy, poetically weak
but my poems today are well short of my peak.
If I had more time  epic tales would appear
of knights fighting  dragons with  sword and with spear
sadly to say nothing great in my head,
so I've gone and put down all this ******* instead.

Spurned, spurned
my fingers burned
all these years
nothing learned
caught out when
my back was turned
yet again my
stomach churned
all this treatment
was it earned?
All I did was
touch your belly
now I'm shaking
legs of jelly
got a smack
in the chops
sore face
tear drops
got my head
in a whirl
thank God you're
a cat and
not a girl!

Got some hair upon my head
looks ok some girls have said
but if I stoop or look right down
wallop my bright gleaming crown!
A heli landing pad she says
and laughs at my next grumpy gaze
well knit me a wig, or maybe a hat
or cover it with a piece of mat!
We do felt making that could work
no I would look a ruddy berk....
Colour it in with a magic marker
do my grey so I go darker
Stop it all I've had enough
hirsutism proving way to tough
stick with what is clinging on
enjoy what's left before it's gone!

Crying on the phone
tears cross short miles to stain my face
desperate, desolate
loved but not valued
carrying her family
forward with her love and her heart
when will the tide turn
when will they say
"Mum are you ok?"
I say I love you, They love you
they just don't show it or
do what you need to breathe and soar
How is it women can cry so often,
and cry so hard without just dying
That despair would **** me
this despair might

I could jump out of a plane
and land on my head
in a foam factory
I'll never be dead
tried and tried
accidents to
but I still it seems
I' m here with you.
fall off bikes
get quite sicky
hurt I like
any kind, not picky
What the chance
I am immortal
never falling through that portal
giving trying life a chance
going well
for one last dance
what the hell lies in the future
keep the needles for the suture
savlon bandages and glue
self repair is what I do
time to try and find a life
others battle through their strife
time to get a bit reflective
friends put my ills into perspective
such a selfish little mite
I'm self obsessed and full of *****
will struggle forward day by day
no I am fooling, you all say
probably, I give you that
she said I am a ***** ****
the one reason that I am left
I cannot leave folks all bereft
for now I mean to stick around
and not at six feet underground
so if upon the ground I lie
check my pulse as you pass by
be like a nurse upon a mission
stick me in the recovery position!

Goats and skinheads try to boast
they say they do it more than most!
Musk ox have a mighty try
Bang! A crash to split the sky.
Alpine sheep, buffalos too
all decry "the rest are poo!"
But they see stars around their nut
when they receive a Dragon ****.
No run up or deep breath required
**** all day long , they're never tired.
Oh how the jealous ones desire
a headbutt fuelled with dragon fire!