loved you once
love you still
always have
always will

Remember, my love
The wish...
And the promise.

With infinite hope,
We belong to this embrace
Attached...complete.

Join my rhapsody,
Know my peace.

As we dream away the world,
A thousand Good Mornings await.

You led me by the hand into deep waters,

dark and tempering,

and with your every simple word,
I found myself not breathing,

until, wrist straining against my writhing,
you dragged me back to air.

And shaking, goose bumps rising, 

I cried for you,

and for the water, which had hugged me

and tried so fiercely to pull me back in.

I look down:
Control sinks away with every drop of sweat
Beading together slowly, tickling my face
And reminding me what loss is

Surely soon this will be over
And I will fight for her no longer
Her full form still reminds me
Of a task I must complete

You are beautiful, I confess
Lies now seem to ease her less
A word devoid of meaning
A joke told too many times

She smiles politely
And as I look down at her I feel my heart begin to tickle my face
And almost purely out of instinct,
I look away, to save myself

for my friend with autoimmune disease*

Finally you are healthy,
for the time being. Won't you
pick up your guitar again
and play me a song. Sing
the world a lullaby.

So full of optimism, you,
make me believe, that you,
can conquer anything.
Except, relapse comes
and I'm crying. This world
can not afford to lose you.

This time turns out okay.
But I live in fear,
of unpredictable relapse.
While you, take advantage
of the health temporarily
granted to you. Each moment,
you deserve every moment.

It was 2 a.m, as usual.
The doorbell rang and I knew right away
who would be slouched against the rusty gate
stuffed with cylindrical flyers full of food i'll never buy.
Hunched over in a hand me down coat
with that strange scarf I never liked tied around your throat.
You flashed a smile, a brief “hey” slipping through it's lack of authenticity.
and I mimicked you, as babies do, and stepped barefoot onto the
cigarette littered leaf scattered stoop, a bowl of knock off cereal cupped
in both my hands, my hair still wet, my mind still drunk.
I fumbled to the stairs and placed myself atop them
and you mimicked me, as babies do,
placing your fragile frame beside me, a few more inches away than usual.
Without hesitation you slid through your speech
and I nodded and smiled and continued to attempt to attract you
despite circumstance, despite that glowing ominous ornament
dangled high in sky, distracting my eyes and passing the time.
We agreed to demolish whatever was left standing from that wall we built,
of awkward breakfasts, yearning eyes across parties, anonymous hairs on jackets,
make out sessions on tattered couches, greetings with waves.
All the details deleted, left unfinished, perhaps one day to be returned to.
As unlikely as I figured it to be.

I rose to my feet, the wind whipping down 21st street,
my tar black makeup still loosely lining my eyes,
I gently rested my head on that shoulder I so briefly admired,
and admitted to my early infatuations; the poems I had written but would never share.
You protested, said you were curious of them.
I denied you, and you didn't ask again.

But if you would've- just once more.
I would've read you them.
Maybe even this one.

But you didn't,
and much like babies,
we mimicked each other
and crawled away.

You gotta keep an eye on it
Because it may slip away
Unnoticed and quiet
Like a feather that falls on the ground
Your hopes and wishes
You got to tie them down
And take care
Cause they are fragile
And it could hurt
Not knowing they are gone
Before it's too late

Sometimes it's unclear
which way to turn,
Sometimes it seems weird
to be on this Earth,
But look to the Heavens
and you will see,
There is a God
watching over you and me.

Swim down a river
or climb up a tree,
Sleep in the forest
or sleep next to me,
Each moment's a choice
and is sometimes unclear
But if you listen carefully,
there is always a voice to hear.

Sleep in
Yes, sleep in
You can’t do it forever
Sleep in, sleep in
So just do it. You’ll feel better
Give up
Yes give up
You heard me right
Give up, give up
Don’t try and fight
Why?
You ask why?
Because it’s pointless you see
Why, why
Why ask me
Figure it out
Don’t sit and pout
It’s not hard to assess
Figure it out, don’t pout
I give this advice because it’s for relieving stress