Write what cannot be said
Feel the sting and exhale
Out with the truth
That you said you don't need me
When I want to be your shoulder
Before you beg the barstool for support
Sent spiraling into a breakdown...
I'd risk losing everything else
To understand this universe
That forms your turmoils,
Eccentricities, and all.
Even without sunshine to  delight in,
I'd take in your darkness without blinking.
So don't lie when you need me most
Because I'd want you to catch me
When I'm standing on the edge
Alone

Now there's too much to handle, so I'll let my mind meander,
Taking a moment to rack my brain for the kind of wisdom
That only years of failure can achieve, the kind I'm too cowardly
To allow myself to discover. Growth and peace do not come easy
In a world that slowly poisons the mind with a false sense of urgency.

I've let myself imagine what I would do with power
To rival the great gods of ancient times- simpler times,
But the gods seldom used their abilities toward benevolent ends.
Would I ruin others lives to fulfill my selfish endeavors?
Such questions echo in my head, tantamount to denying denial.

Walking under the trees reminds me of the possibility of deep sleep.
Listening to the forest whisper secrets through their branches,
Privy to all their knowledge and comforted by their strength,
I envy their solidarity and salute to their resilience, contrasting
My surrender to insomnia, depositing sand under my eyes like graves.

Feeling small makes me recall the days when I was the apple
Of my father's eye, innocently promising to never disappoint him. Now,
A disappointment-tainted smile greets me, both the Snake and the fruit.
Clinging to an empty shell of memories equally treasured and torturing,
I'm made aware that we also let down the people who never held much hope.

For a short time I thought that love grew from letting a person
Take everything I could give. Having out grown such dangerously
Low self esteem, I'm left still wondering how others are able
To sustain long term companionships of shared trust and intimacy.
I admire them from my window, for so long lonesome until recently.

I stubbornly believe that ***** and books take the cake when
Escaping from bottled up feelings too complicated to express
In coherent stanzas with the hope that one day someone will understand.
Until then, I'll dance dazed to music turned all the way up
In an attempt to blare out the ugliness of the past always pressing in.

Clear off the bed
and come lie next to me
or lie with me
or crawl under these sheets
and die with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Clear out your mind
and sink down low with me
or get high with me
or hold my hand
and lose some time with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Clean up your act
and fall apart with me
or fall, apart from me
or fall, a part of me
and take some time to cry with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Clean out your car
and run away with me
or run to me
or put it in reverse
and go back to the start with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could get used to this

Cleanse your spirit
and embrace this pain with me
or brace for pain with me
or take a moment to put me back together
and just be with me, with me
or without
I'm used to it
but I could still get used to this

Minutes feel like years,
hours close to decades.
I'm lying in bed
while my mind tries to fade.

A heart tends to feel
what words can't convey.
I am desperately fighting
to take myself away.

A soul that is heavy
with a body close to hollow.
I am fighting for sleep,
but my mind will not follow.

The advice you want to give,
I simply won't demand.
All I seem to wish for
is a heart that can withstand.

It is time for me to go.
For soon, I will see dawn.
I know that it is coming,
I know I will move on.

I thank you for your time,
I shouldn't keep you taken.
The only thing I ask
will be something left unspoken.

I never saw it coming,
but once we had our start,
I knew it wouldn't be long
before you had my heart.
You made me laugh & smile;
the way you showed you cared,
& then I went and ****** things up
for what? 'Cause I was scared?
You never could deserve
such pitiful treatment,
and now my tasteless soul
you will sooner resent
than I could have imagined,
or anyone could write.
I wish that I could change it;
go back and make it right,
but I don't have that power
and sadly no one can
revert to times before,
back to when we began.
When all was new & blooming;
when all was innocent,
before it all went sour
repent, repent, repent!
I promise that I'll fix this
& everything will be
back to typicality.
Back to you and me.

She took my hand and followed me
through the trees,
under the archway made of ivy
(flanked by pristinely carved hedges)
into the vast, open field
which met the ethereal red sun
on the horizon.

We sat in the fresh grass,
cool in the evening air.
All the while we stayed silent,
just admiring the untouched space.
Each blade of grass before us
swayed gently,
tantalisingly...

Time had stopped
but everything was still living.
Still moving.
As if this place were not included
in Time's perseverance.  
I didn't want it to be,
it was too important to me.

It occurred to me then
that it wasn't this place
that I valued the most at all
It was this moment.

And I captured it.

The Largest Lie

The midnight shelter of time
Buried you bottomless        somewhere
  in the recesses of my mind.
Deep deep down
In the crevices of my spine
where vague sketches of yesterday
were all that I could find.

There, where the shadows and flashes
of memories reside
unleashed moments crawl to the surface -
begging for light.
Urging to make you real again
In this space and in this  time.
I am reminded of the signs
I am re-minded of the signs
I remember though even without signs.
Because love is not blind but with stealth and slither she
Creeps from behind and buries the me that was me before she was…
Never mine,
But a mere image cut deeply into the layers of my mind and she carved time with ragged- razored lines.
I can not find.
I will not find her – the one to shine the broken edges the others left behind.
I am a catalyst for the crime, which is time spent cowered in my mind spinning tirelessly through eras of tragedy and romantic grime.
Will you please be mine?
Just one last time
Will you please be mine?
And help me to outshine my bloodline that tangles with the soulshine of these withered chimes!
My lifeline relies on the moon’s shrine that assigns your skyline to my shore line.
Watch me climb back into the sublime
roots of divine nothingness –
the grand design.
Nothingness is the grand design!
Riddled by centuries of symbols and rhyme.
Now is the time!
Now is the only time!
To reflect on and refine the largest lie!
Love is not real for she is loneliness in disguise.

I am from garbage trucks invading the streets,
bringing young ones to the window.
I am from the hum of the washer
bleeding into layered daydreams.
I am from charcoal painted on eyelids.
I am from opinions stronger than the smell of coffee.
I am from bones deep in closets,
buried by golden memories.
I am from the honey sweet songs
mama whispers.
I am from the deadly faces of strangers
and the suffocation of opinions
spewed as facts.
I am from the smoothest jazz
to the heaviest rock.
I am from
books with plastic casings
stacked high in the grass
on a sunny day.
I am from
every word or statement I have ever heard
to ever word or statement I will ever say.
I am from
late night fires
with sweet tea, the song of the night, and the light of the stars.
I am from
the soft smell
of a baby's head
to the feeling of thick smoke
filling tired lungs.
I am from the denial of death
to the hesitation of life.
I am from
smooth rocks under bare feet
to cold, harsh rain stinging sun-dried skin.
I am from strength
and weakness.
I am from me to you.
That
is where I am from.

Let the body lead the mind
just once
let it wander to the abyss
to the unknown
do not think of what
is to be or is not, but what is.
Then let the heart decide:
if you love me, don't look back,
if not, keep going.