Because you were busy I got no birthday card
It's not the first time so I won't take it hard
Because you were busy I was alone Mother's Day
But I know you have so much to do anyway
Because you were busy I stayed home alone
You didn't have time to pick up the phone

I know life is crazy and you just have a minute
But does even one thought in your head have me in it?
I'm getting older and I'm scared that I'm sick
But I'd sure like a visit, no matter how quick

Because you were busy those hours have passed
You're beginning to realize how you've put me last
But time is a runaway train on a track
And it's something that we never, ever get back

Now you remember to bring me bouquets
And you always visit on bright, sunny days
You talk to me and I wish I could reply
But listening's all you can do when you die
I hope that you somehow know I understand
My leaving was something that you never planned
And I hear as you whisper while I lie in the ground...
"I am so sorry, Mom, that I wasn't around".

Tell me your dreams
The desires which you so
desperately crave
Tell me so I can see the burning passion
in your piercing eyes
The sparkles that shine so prominently

Tell me your fears
The nightmares where dreaded creatures lurk in the
darkness, attempting to penetrate your mind
Tell me so I can prevent those common shadows before
they befuddle and torment you
The burning fury they obtain when they engulf you
at your most vulnerable state

Tell me how your mind works
The intricate way for which those wonderful
thoughts of yours flow
Tell me how to be so magically profound about
life, time, and death
The ways of straying away from reality to catch
a glimpse of paradise

Tell me the forbidding truth about my unfortunate path
The cold, naked, and abandoned road upon which
I have regrettably travelled
Tell me that paradise is at the bottom of a trench
And I shall allow myself to fall-my life
shall perish happily upon landing in paradise

|s.s|

i'm not suicidal, but
         if a truck was about to hit me
         i wouldn't scream
i don't have a death wish, but
         if i was stuck underwater
         i wouldn't struggle
i don't want to die, but
         if someone had a gun barrel at my head
         i wouldn't beg to live
                          i'd smile

sometimes i think the only reason
       that i'm able to sleep at all
  is because i know
           that right then

                  you're wishing
                           you
                     were here
                       with me

I wasn’t your first, nor will I be your last.
I understand why you got rid of me.
The shame, the feelings. I guess
I’m not something  you would keep for later,

What you would take home to Mom.
I was only made for one time use.
I was only good for the moment,
And then you flush me away with your essence left behind.

I waited so long for you to finally use me.
Stuck inside a stiff foil wrapper, neatly rolled in on myself.
I just wish it had lasted longer,
wish you had thought about it more.

Wish you knew how much it hurt me to be stretched so thin.
My delicate skin barely handled your abuse
when you shoved me away so abruptly.
I’m fragile, sensitive, but I was made for you.

And I could have been everything you need-
I’d keep you safe, make you warm, protect you
from the things you can’t see.
But you came, and you left.

You used me for all you could, and now you’re satisfied,
I’m gone, and you will never think twice about me.

I wish it was easy
Love and stuff
Saying 'I love you' without fear
Its so strange to think about.
I love you is like a loaded phrase
Don't you dare say it too soon
Too loud
Too young
Too close.
Like a gun.
Aimed for your head.
Aimed for your heart, too.
A pistol with three chambers loaded
I
Love
You
Each a separate shot.
First in the throat, and you lose your voice while you wait
On baited breath for the rest of what they'll say.
Then the stomach, when the meaning of that word is suddenly
Printed in bold-face type on the backs of your eyelids.
And finally, your heart.
When you hear the last word, and you get a sweet, bitter ache in your heart
Because they love
You.
You, with all your flaws and cracks and fears bared to them
You, with every anxiety and heartbreak you put them through daily
You, who couldn't
Shouldn't, would never
Deserve to be loved.
But they say it, and the truth just hits you.
So hard, it hurts.
It feels good.
Why you?
Why them?
...Why not?