I dream of taking a knife
Cutting all this fat off
It falling in sheets.
My gut gone,
My thighs.
A smile of triumph
As I look at the knife
And me in the mirror

I wake drenched.
Sticky.
Where did I go.

I can't do you justice
Thousands of words I've written
but not one captures you.
I cannot capture your voice,
your strides, those eyes.
Eyes always changing
A tornado and hurricane at war.
I cannot capture those hands
that dissipates the sorrow,
leaving passion in their wake.
Today I have realized
that this is why I love you.
You're incapturable

Nothing is right. I ruined everything. I held the world. I had a lover. I had love. I had hope. I had everything. I threw it away. One night. That's all it took. One night. With the wrong one. One night. And I cant trust again. I threw it all away. I threw you away. When all I wanted. Was to throw myself away. All I wanted. Was to self harm. All I did. Was destroy us.

I want to watch the stars tonight fall in love with the world.
Whisper secrets to the moon...

Leave me alone
get out of my head
when did you set up shop here anyway
I can remember,
but it feels like a while ago

sitting in the foyer
sink into the black cushions
deep into the folds snuggled in
like one of your hugs
pulled in close to your heart.
facing the window
eyes never leaving the door
for you might walk in

I wrote this a long time ago
staring at a coffee stained napkin
with my pen at hand,

You called as I was thinking of you
deep in thought about your eyes
your hair, your mouth
over a cup of coffee.
scratching down a poem
on a coffee stained napkin
eye on the door
always has been since you left

but you called and broke my thought
broke it into a thousand pieces
and my heart stuttered at the voice I heard
at the laughter that came from within you

I can’t remember the last time I heard that voice
the last time I heard that laugh
the last time i stopped looking at the door
waiting for a miracle
for you to walk in
or i to walk out to you

then you called
and with that call
you changed everything
lump in my throat
dazed and confused
lit up like a light bulb
the happiest on earth
just that
a phone call
and im yours all over again.
Fully rooted deep in my head
never alone.

"Never love a wild thing.
The bite marks they leave heal
But the corrupt mind is yours to keep."

"Can you not see?
Even the most angelic mind the devil prances in."

You are on my mind every moment of every day,
in the dead of night when Incubus rests on my chest,
in the waking hours when Pothos juggles my heart.
Who are you who haunts my soul shaking my very core