Numb
Numb
Numb
So
            uninvolved
            invisible
It's the same routine
anesthetize me
Feel me
I'm done
            dumb
            numb
I feel the love-hate

Tell me, do you feel it?
Tell me you feel it
Tell me you feel

Numb
Numb
Numb

They still believe
             I feel
             I live
             I love

Numb
Numb
Numb

Feel my drug

The toy I am
The game you are

Let me feel
                numb
                numb
                done.

The guilt kills me
I'm still stuck
On your wretched soul

As my pillows were soaked by my pathetic tears
And my chest heaved of desperation,
He worked.

As I walked around with a blank look on my face
And people asked questions
He didn't know.

As I sit here and try to read to forget his worthless existence
And my heart still stupidly aching,
He is home with his wife.

Grind on me
Hold my curves
Tilt my head
Grip my hair
Bite my neck
Don't look me in the eyes
Tell me a fake name
Jake. What's yours?
*Kate.

I'm starving for flesh
Your beautiful canvas
My claws search for your weakest point
Such a delicate creature, my Prey
Crash from the hunt
He will be mine to devour

And I sit here drowning my sorrows
In this rectangular chocolatey delight
I think about all the tomorrows
That I'll have with less fright

Now save me, chocolate smoothness
You always help me just right,
My tongue needs your milky caress
To get through this reckless fight

Dear sugary flavor
Bring me a certain light,
And rid me of this melancholy savor
Because chocolate heals all wounds, right?

You've always gotten me in trouble, old friend
And I won't let you take me down again
Always has it been the same routine:
I think, I fall, I plead.
There's always new terrain left to discover
A new place, new face, a new lover
Dear friend, take me through your new routes
And let us not tread back to that fool

My thoughts tricked me to think his words true
But alas, my subconscious already knew
But you held my hand throughout the journey, friend
For that I suppose we should make amends
I forgive you for letting me take that path
Because now I know I won't look back

I fell for him, I won't lie, I did
And I hate that you aided him
I could not find my two feet
But without your help
I remembered my old beat

I pleaded for my heart to let go
Of this Reckless creature that held on so
See here, pal, I'm taking the lead this time
For last option he gave me, the decision is mine
Let me confide in you, the answer is no.

Yet each man kills the thing he loves
  By each let this be heard,
Some do it with a bitter look,
  Some with a flattering word,
The coward does it with a kiss,
  The brave man with a sword!
Some **** their love when they are young,
  And some when they are old;
Some strangle with the hands of Lust,
  Some with the hands of Gold:
The kindest use a knife, because
  The dead so soon grow cold.
Some love too little, some too long,
  Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,
  And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
  Yet each man does not die.

I'm unrecognizable
To myself in this costume he made for me
All I wanted was a touch
He turned it into a grip
He gripped hard and
First I thought it was my lust
He touched
More than that
My mind was fiddled with
My eyes closed
Never would I let this happen
But he dressed me
With the costume he made for me
His hands on my
Willing body
His words were real
My mind surrendered

I never knew
How much a touch could
Affect me and that grip
Oh, that god forsaken grip
He held with all his power
Even though his body said "Stop!"
But he was lost
My eyes closed
And he was lost
There was no way
Back to ourselves
The costumes glued to our bodies now
We're no longer ourselves
We're no longer each other

I'm unrecognizable
To him with this ******* costume
It wasn't made by him, wasn't made for me
It is me
He relaxed his grip and let go
Ran back blind
There was no way to go
Too late, your grip was made
Your mark is dug deep

Two strangers unknowingly
Released each other
For each other
We're doomed.

I can feel the sadness through your heart
When I lay on your chest
I want to heal your anguish with my love

Wrap me in love
Fill my nose with his scent
Sleeves as rough as the hair on his arms
And as light as his lingering presence
Dad doesn't know I stole his favorite sweater
But I would've missed him otherwise
His hugs are rare
Kind words: sparse
But his sweater consumes me
I'm enveloped in his love
By his oversized sweater
Thank you, Dad,
I'll give it back to you later

I'm sorry little Love Bug,
I mean that, I do
I'm sorry you felt
What I had to do, for you

You see, you don't need me
Honest, you don't
I'll just make your heart bleed
And believe me, it'll hurt

So let go of my gaze
Stop opening your heart
I'll set this ablaze
Once and for all

The hurt will cease
I promise you that
So smile, little Love Bug
And don't look back

Oh, temporary love!
You have all of my infatuation
As I have zero communication
          with the rest of the world
                   when I'm with you

No you didn't lie,
No you didn't try,
But there was a hidden truth,
The biggest truth...

You are another woman's,
Bound by the power of the ring,
But your empty vows,
Empowered your deception
Yet there was the creation of a creature,
Your pride and joy,
Your reason to stay,
Our reason to not exist.

Yes, you did lie,
Yes, you did try,
This is your truth,
Your hidden truth

The little boy
Growing into his own shoes,
His very own big boy pants too!
He has premature features that
remind me of someone... someone...
But who?
A sincere childish smile with
Protruding teeth that melts any passerby
What about his popping belly?
To rub,
To feel during his hugs,
To love love love!
It really does remind me of someone...
But let me tell you about his nails
How they always seem to be just too long
Or the way he blushes when he's caught singing a song
Silly little boy with nails too long,
soft fingers, and growing hands
He might tuck them in his pants
The way Daddy does
Girl crushes and science tests and soon
Those big boy pants will walk him out to middle school
His charming retainer lisp will soon fade away
And remind me more of Dad everyday
They share a name
My dad's pride and joy
He's his mold, his little boy
The way he reads, even holds his posture
And all the little things just like his father

"I'm a married man. And my wife won't live with me for reasons that I think most women would consider sound... Or I should have made love to you long ago."
There came a silence again
"I don't care," said Ann Veronica
"But if you knew anything of that-"
"I did. It doesn't matter."
"Why did you tell me [you loved me]? I thought- I thought we were going to be friends."
He was suddenly resentful...
"Why on earth did you tell me?" he cried
"I couldn't help it. It was an impulse. I had to."
"But it changes things. I thought you understood."
"I had to", she repeated. I was sick of the make-believe. I don't care! I'm glad I did. I'm glad I did."
"Look here!" said Capes, "what on earth do you want? What do you think we can do? Don't you know what men are, and what life is?- to come to me and talk to me like this!"
"I know-something anyhow. But I don't care; I haven't a spark of shame. I don't see any good in life if it hasn't got you in it. I wanted you to know. And now you know. And the fences are down for good. You can't look me in the eyes and say you don't care for me."
"I've told you," he said "...Apart from everything else, this meeting of ours is a breach of a good rule."
"Rules are for everyday," said Ann Veronica, "This is not everyday. This is something above all rules."
"For you"
"Not for you?"
"No. No; I'm going to stick to the rules... It's odd, but nothing but cliché seems to meet this case.You've placed me in a very exceptional position... The plain common-sense of the case is that we can't possibly be lovers in the ordinary sense. That, I think, is manifest... We can't be lovers in the ordinary sense, but we can be great and intimate friends"
"We are" said Ann Veronica
"You've interested me tremendously... I want to be your friend... Let us be friends- as near and close as friends can be"
"What is the good of pretending?" she said.
"We don't pretend."
"We do. Love is one thing and friendship quite another. Because I'm younger than you... I've got imagination.. I know what I am taking about. Do you think... do you think I don't know the meaning of love?"

Lust can be the cruelest thing
It tricks you
Mind ***** you

The weak lust can give you
That wild, filthy,
Animalistic ***
The kind where two bodies
Are so defiled
There is no turning back
And scars remain as evidence.

The strongest lust
The most dangerous,
Turns on you
It ravages you,
Engulfs you completely
And pushes you
Towards that dark corner

It takes your hands and arms
From shielding your face and
Forces your eyes open
It takes your bodies for the ride of their lives
The one they most feared

Now it engulfs you both
Wrapping around you
No longer forcing you
You willingly, sickeningly
Look into each other's minds
And that lust,
That cruel lust swirls around you

Changing into the other
Four lettered 'L' word
Filled with more sins
Than both your bodies
Could ever create together
And that one that will drown you
Into inevitable destruction.

Your bodies: ******
Your minds: ******
And now your hearts:
       Forever unfixable.

The atheist brother
Has a big mind
           for a teen
And his parents
Do they ever know what goes on up there?
Their thoughts are barred away from his
Metal bars created by their own
           Reluctancy
To understand, to comprehend, to attempt...
They want to keep with what they already know
And he
           tries to discover the unknown
With books,with people, with a globalized community
of those who want- who need to learn more

The atheist brother
Has a big mind
       for a human
Will we ever know what goes on up there?
       We could
             We should
Step out of these predetermined molds
of who
you were taught to be
Go out and want, and need to learn more

You're no longer my secret
There's nothing else binding us two
I no longer belong to you

*Je vous deteste

We are women -or men- that want to be free!
At least, for me, I like being treated inhumanely
Don't ask me why, I'll never know
It's just a thrill when I'm able to let go

See I like power
I hold it with my mind
But when a man wants to devour
All of me, I leave it all behind

His Dominance is so revealing
I can see right through His soul
My lust starts strongly seeping
My body is His to control

What brings me alive is the pain
Reflexes ache to restrain but
I have all the pleasure to obtain
Yes, my body is His terrain

And now it's my turn
His body is mine to learn

I used to read
myself to sleep
A little girl
In her own little pink room
While the rest of the house
Snored their dreams away

Some nights the stories were
more important than the slumber
And the sun arose as I finished
a spectacular turn of events that
left me smiling, thinking,
....confused?

Page after page
my tired eyes,
little hands
grasped what was given
to me in the middle of the night
by some unknown
writers

As I twirl around in my little pink skirt
He stares at me from afar
"What're you looking at?", I tease
And his devilish grin reveals all

Like a rose I'm filled with thorns for you,
Hold me in your hands,
And let my petals caress
your calloused fingers

Like a rose I'm filled with thorns for you,
Inhale my scent,
And let my aroma overwhelm
your virile body

Like a rose I'm filled with thorns for you,
Open your heart,
And let my thorns wound
your most intimate place

Like a rose I'm filled with thorns for you,
Because you inflicted
The most painful sentiment
In my heart
And now my revenge
Is to let you feel it too
with my thorns
only for you

I want you


                  to walk through


                                            my door and


                                                           ­          just pretend


                                                       ­                                   that we've done this


                                                          ­                                          **Forever.

"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody." Catcher in the Rye

Running scenes thru your head
The torture the torture the torture...
Vivid memories enticing your senses
And all of a sudden,
You're there again...

To relive a moment.
That moment you always revert to
It's your safety
Your guardian
The mind knows where to find it
How to relive that scent,
           that taste,
                    that touch...

But when it fades away
And you're left in the same place
It found you in,
Where do you turn
But to solidarity, and melancholia

There's this smell in the mornings when
I walk to the bus stop alone
This smell brings a sensation of over satisfaction
The air is clear
My atmosphere warm
The scent so gratifying

Flashback to your bed I slept on
And your morning breath that greeted my lips
Those bright eyes that grounds me
The I love you exchanged before ours days

Flashback once more to the night before
Tired eyes
Our toes intertwined
My heart heavy and filled with you
My mind yours to consume

I have the world in front of me
The morning peaks over the buildings,
*are you not satisfied?

His words hypnotized me
Unbelievably, unexpectedly.. always

"I'm so sure about the powers of the Zodiac", he said,
But two capricorns are too much alike
Our horns entangle when we show our infamous pride,
Yet we're much more than that,
The passion, the lust, the everlasting craving!

He is a stranger, a shadow, a fantasy,
And he never misread my thoughts
He found them lingering in the voice I never spoke
He's the stranger I need

How could such an insignificant creature rouse me this way
His inspiration shifted my thoughts, my words, my beliefs!
We mold so peacefully, full of hate, and lust
Two strange capricorns afloat

He talked to me in metaphors I needed to understand,
Every syllable leaving me speechless yet provoked
Moving my mind, he conquered my body,
              the way his instincts taught him to.

The youth always seems to be more optimistic

Have you noticed?

But when it comes down to it,
there's always slight
negativity around us

Little feet, little feet, please lead the way
To that place you found,
so safe and sound,
I promise I won't walk astray

I lied about my age
I lied about what I do
I actually go to school
And.. I live in NJ

But I did like your dress,
And those curls you probably worked hard to perfect
Your makeup was impeccable
Complimenting every curve of your face
I was surprised you even talked to me
Oh and
I deleted your number as soon as I walked out the door

Pit pat pit pat
My fingers click my screen
Pit pat pit pat
My words want to be seen
Pit pat pit pat
Two years just seem too long
Pit pat pit pat
These words have a new song

Demands.
Questions.
Altercations.
Frustration.
I'm
Tearing
Apart.­

My hands are gripped
From two sides
Blind eyes
Walking a blurred path
To an uncertain end
There are no cross walks
The street lights are dim
The voices in my head
Over power each other
Teach me how to look

The starting line
Was bold from afar
Not even my crossing guards
Can help me now
My legs are tired
There is no end
Others are sprinting
My goal is lost
I am not enough
Mother, do you hear my pleas?
*Teach me how to talk

"...our poor romance was for a moment reflected, pondered upon, and dismissed like a dull party, like a rainy picnic to which only the dullest bores had come, like a humdrum exercise, like a bit of dry mud caking her childhood." V Nabokov

How easy it is to confuse love with hatred
Like what they poured on your soul was acid
Slowly but surely the two opposites bounded
Every moment you spent is now clouded
Welcome to the moment you dreaded

Because slowly that hate disappears
Was it numbed by all those beers?
No, I'm just tired of the pasts' sneers
"Remember? He made you happy!
No, I'm just tired of all those tears
Now it's your heart that hurts with my spears

All those pains faded away
Elsewhere, I led them astray
You're dead to me, go decay
I don't love you, I daresay
Surprise! Viciousness is my forte.

he has me wound up in this love mania
i found his hands, he my eyes
and i feel those stupid generic butterflies
love so young, love so innocent
we are its most pure and basic element