If enough won't join you
and the machine is too big
use your wits
obliterate the rust
snap the fulcrum
grind the gears
and walk away
I think I just found a way

It is early morning.
I can't sleep.
I sit here in front of my computer's light.
Reading of other people's plights.

I analyze and I empathize.
Is this a story poem or is this a real poem?
I am drawn closer & I see reflections of myself.
It's some how comforting to know,
I 'm not alone after all.

It was many and many a year ago,
  In a kingdom by the sea,
That a maiden there lived whom you may know
  By the name of ANNABEL LEE;
And this maiden she lived with no other thought
  Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,
  In this kingdom by the sea:
But we loved with a love that was more than love—
  I and my ANNABEL LEE;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
  Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
  In this kingdom by the sea,
A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling
  My beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
So that her highborn kinsmen came
  And bore her away from me,
To shut her up in a sepulchre
  In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in heaven,
  Went envying her and me—
Yes!—that was the reason (as all men know,
  In this kingdom by the sea)
That the wind came out of the cloud by night,
  Chilling and killing my ANNABEL LEE.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love
  Of those who were older than we—
  Of many far wiser than we—
And neither the angels in heaven above,
  Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE.

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes
  Of the beautiful ANNABEL LEE;
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,
  In her sepulchre there by the sea—
  In her tomb by the side of the sea.

when you and i dance it is electric shock
and you are water and i am ice.
you conduct and share, spread like
wildfire heat and burn and
so don’t think i am nervous when you touch me
it is me
not you, never you
it is me who is too old and too frozen
to allow the free current to rumble through my skin.
it is a surprise,
a present,
when you let the warmth flash into my bones
but please remember that it is hard for me to hold
this gift
without dropping it.
humans have their half-hearts and
yours are so full
it’s been so long to remember heat
that sometimes i let the ice taste like
metal, like wood
like stolen promises and betrayed kisses
and then when you touch me
it is a surprise present
but one that i will take all too gladly
because i am selfish
and you have so much to give.
you are your mother and your father
and you are your own traveler
so let me come into your home
and make a mess of things
with my poor conductor heart.
i may never tell you i love you
but just know that it is not words that fail me
you would know i was lying if i said
i was anything other than a storyteller,
a wordsmith, a forger of weapons from syllables
and tongue against teeth and vocal chords,
but it is the surprise of electricity
that keeps my mouth fumbling.
let me marry you in forever ago
and now
because you are a surprise, a present,
and i have come to need you
in a way that i haven’t needed
and i cannot keep you in the box
of people i love
because they always come out broken
and i demand your circuitry, your
flow over me.
you must never break
again
because you torture yourself with
your own shock, your own pulse
and i cannot choose your fate;
that is yours to do with what you will,
but i can choose how to feel.
so maybe when the day comes
and the towers sing and i cry
i will cry not from the sadness of your leaving
but cry at the happiness of your staying
and the knowing that you and i
are the choosing ones
that have chosen electric-shock-pain
in the logic of you and i in union.

I like being in charge sometimes.

I want to be choked and spanked and ******* and ****** hard.

I want to wear a strap-on in bed.

I want to be used.

I think about spanking you until your *** turns red.

I want to be slapped and called a ****.

But I melt when you call me babygirl.

I swoon because you’re a gentleman.

I smile when you’re cute and girly.

I want to cuddle and watch Disney movies.

I like having hot wax poured on my body.

I like to play with the candles on the table at fancy restaurants.

I like ice too.

I like to watch your pupils dilate when I look at you a certain way.

I like when you look at me in that certain way that makes me lose my breath and giggle.

It calms me down when you call me owlet when I’m stressed.

You give me warm and fuzzies when you call me your best friend.

Maybe I like you.

So maybe this isn’t so complicated.

*Maybe it’s really simple.

Little things
my dad does,
today he put
a new tooth
brush by my
sink after I
carelessly
mentioned
wanting new
things

Oh !Do not love
If you do not have the ability to solve the aftermath of love….

The love you took with you to the grave ,
is as present here, today, as yesterday.
I wear it like a wrinkle line  in  the expression of my face

They  are the traces  of  my loss of you
in the angle of my smile
and It is not in a hurry to let go
Cause missing you is  
now's my second nature

like breathing in and out plain air
love in love out, loss in loss out
and that's why i get scared