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 Dec 2014 Jenna Dixon
David
forced
 Dec 2014 Jenna Dixon
David
From time to time I wonder if
the words are really there
                                    or maybe I just want them to exist so much
                                                            ­        that I am forcing them onto a page
that is not entirely willing
           Or able
to hold them.
 Apr 2014 Jenna Dixon
David
Relax, man.
'S no big deal.
You just gotta unwind,
Play some music,
Sip some coffee.
Chill out.
Put down the textbook.
Stop wasting your time.
It's all useless anyway.
I scream your name
At the top of my lungs
But you never answer
Not even with the smallest whisper
I'm starting to realize
That you stopped caring
And that I need to just give up
I was so happy
With this new boy
That made me forget that
You and I ever existed

Then you tell me you're biggest secret
You had ***
With your current girl toy
Washing up memories
I thought I had scrubbed away

Now the terrible thoughts leak back into my head
Drowning all my happiness
With this vow of silence
You made me take

I feel  my aching mind ticking like a time bomb
That could go off at any second
Causing me to snap
And stain myself in hot crimson

I take a needle and thread and sew my mouth shut
I close my eyes and try and wipe away the memory of you confiding in me
Bleaching my brain cells in the process
Causing me to grow weary once more
Killing any ounce of feeling I had left

So, I'd like to thank you for what you have done
You started to pull me back to you
Thus strengthening my feelings for my new boy
The one who is nice to me
The one who doesn't lie to me
The one who really loves me
Unlike you
He's better
And doesn't constantly tear me down
And make me want to cease my existence

He helps me breathe in this toxic air you've created and expel it as if nothing had ever happened between you and I
When I was young,
I chased only fun,
My head all filled,
with stupid.

I wrecked some cars,
Got into fights,
Broke some bones,
never learned my lesson.

There was back then,
A guiding Light,
That tried to shine
From within my Father.

He knew the ropes,
Had run the course,
He'd even been in prison,
But me, well, I was too
"**** dumb" to listen.

We butted heads,
The Old Man and me,
I remained too
stubborn, to heed
His hard won
Sage wisdom.

To me back then,
his words, sounded
silly, at my age then,
I reckoned I knew
everything.

When he died,
We all cried,
After all he was
my Father.
But gone is gone,
And I wanted fun,
Off I went to find it.

In a bar, the "Memphis
Star", A guy pulled a
knife to stab me.

In a full blind rage,
I triggered my hate
And stole that man's
Life forever.

All hell commenced, and
My Everything changed forever.

Now as I sit here thinking
Within this rank prison,
I dearly wish that to
My old Daddy's wisdom,
I would have devoted,
more attention.

Tomorrow mornin',
A Hangman's comin',
and at the end of my
own rope, I will be
surely hangin'.
Not autobiographical, thanks be
to all the Gods. But I have met
this guy. Perhaps we all have.
Some people can not get out
of there own way or learn
from their own mistakes
until it's too late.
 Aug 2013 Jenna Dixon
David
Run
 Aug 2013 Jenna Dixon
David
Run
Take
My hand
And run
Run fast
Run long
With me
Run
With me
From this
This world
Of sadness
Brimming
With heartbreak
Flooding
With tears
Take my hand
And run.
 Aug 2013 Jenna Dixon
David
Cry
 Aug 2013 Jenna Dixon
David
Cry
Cry
With me
Because I
Need company
Hold me
As I
Break down
As I
Collapse
Under the pressure
Cry
So I
Can comfort
You
And ignore
My own
Pain.
 Aug 2013 Jenna Dixon
David
Btw
 Aug 2013 Jenna Dixon
David
Btw
I'm dying
Inside
Btw.
Totally shattered
Crumbling
To bits
And you're
Not here
You're not answering
Btw
I knew this would happen
If I told you
I knew it would affect you
And now
When I need you
You're gone
I'm not mad
Btw
Just sad.
I understand
I just wish
I hadn't
Told you.
It's only when
You're all alone in your room
And the only light is a dim lamp
and the only sound is your silent weeping

That's when you make a mistake
You press too hard or go to fast
And you cut too deep
Blood never stopping

That's when your breath hitches in your throat
That's when the panic sets it
And you become frightened
Frightened of death

So you grab and old pillow case
Or some sort of old rag
And press it to the wound
Trying to find some way to make it stop

You keep it there all night
Even when you drift off into a dreamless sleep
You awake in the morning to find the bleeding has stopped
But your sheet is covered in blood

You give a small sigh of relief
And run to the bathroom to clean it
You wince when the peroxide bubbles inside
And shake as you wrap it in a bandage

Now you must pull down your sleeves
To hide it from view
No one must know of your tragic little accident
But the scars it will hold will always remind you of your little mistake
Her movement,
The movement of flames flickering in the slow distilled wind,
wind that is now raging in to a storm.
I will help her subside,
subside into me blindly.
Giving into my allurement and gaze,
I will have you soon, the structure of skin I lust after.
I will have you with satisfaction.
My  heart is in my mouth, against my teeth,
Breaking my precious white pearls and making them into disease.
Disease that has grown in me like a fungus.
The disease of lust.
Lusting after her structure.
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