The walls are lined with figures
Studies
Sketches
Paintings
All filled with colorful bodies
Moving
Dancing
Undulating
So, why is it that a drawing
Graphite
Bones
Skulls
Seems the most alive?

How dare you treat me like a dispensable  
Nothing
I gave up so many things for you
I did so many things for you
I let go of myself for you
I loved you more than anyone ever has or ever will
But go ahead
Walk away from that
Toss me in the trash
Throw me away
Get rid of the person who
Loved you unconditionally
Cared about you more than she cared about herself
Always went out of her way to relieve your stress
She wasn't perfect, but she certainly tried
Just for you
All of that for you
You
Who couldn't see
That I am
Funny
Sweet
Caring
Loyal
Silly
Intelligent
Brave
Dedicated
Cha­rming
Honest
Clever
Unique
Witty
Beautiful
Strong
Determined
Gracious
Talented
And a million other things
Look at this list, Ryan
Look what you're missing out on
Look how selfish you're being
Look how much you've hurt me
Look in the mirror and tell me that who you see is
Really you
Tell me that he is the person doing all this
Tell me you can give all this up without batting an eye
Tell me that you never cared
Don't hold anything back
Don't lie
Tell me.
And while you're at it,
Throw in a real, heartfelt apology
Get down on your knees
Kiss my feet
And with tears in your eyes
Say "sorry" over and over
And over
For how you used me
And my generosity
For how you sat back and watched
As I drown in a love that was no longer real
Apologize for being an arrogant ****
Apologize
Because I deserve it
I deserve a lot of things
Much more than you've given me for the last half of a year
I deserve to be
Cherished
Loved
Respected and
Valued
I deserve more than what you are right now
And I want you to tell me.

You pig-headed ****
Don't you dare tell me how I feel
I know I am no more entitled than
You or anyone else
I just want you to know that I care
That I'm stressed
That I'm trying so hard to make this perfect
That I have tunnel vision
And that the pinprick of light
At the end
Is him

If this ever goes south,

Blame me.

It's eating me alive
Knowing you're somewhere
Alone
Trapped and stuck
Knowing I can't do
Anything
Nothing to help
I just want to reach out
Grab your hand
Never let go
Make it better
Fix it
Take away all your stress
All the problems and confusion
But I can't
So, I'll just sit here
And type
About how useless I feel

I think that sometimes
It is easier to think of rain
As the tears of a thousand souls
Than just a simple weather phenomena

You're not you
I love you
You are happy
You like to have fun
You enjoy my presence
You kiss me all over
You aren't drowning in life
But this person who I hung onto for the last six months,
He's not you
I don't love him
He's stressed out
He doesn't care
He no longer loves me
But I firmly believe that he's not you
So I'll just wait for you to come back
Because I really believe you will