when, in those few moments
we share each other’s presence
we steal each other’s time
your kiss it cuts me deeply
from my lips to my ears
down my neck
‘cross my chest
through my stomach
your fingertips peeling away
each layer
the fabric
of safe and fear
I am naked
and you leave me
open
and exposed
vulnerable for hours
while I drive home
stitching myself back together
praying that one day
you let me cut you open, too.

I see you swinging
you smile when the wind is in your face
you laugh when your stomach drops a bit on the backswing
you look so happy
I’m so happy

I see you swinging
you cry when your toes hit the ground
you shudder when you lose momentum
you look so sad
I’m so sorry

I see you swinging
you start all by yourself sometimes
you get a push other times
you just sit there once in a while
I’m so nervous

I see you swinging
you know I’m watching
you know I’m feeling
you know I’m thinking
I’m so confused

I see you swinging
and I sit here playing in the dirt
building castles
wishing you’d stay in the air and never come down
I’d always know where you were
and I wouldn’t have to see you swinging

My brain has been infected with memories of years gone by
and I can’t sleep
and I can’t create
and I can’t touch
and I can’t feel
and I can’t stop

I want to smell you again
I want to sense you again

Half of my body lies next to me and half of it lies next to you
Half of my heart is in a jar and half of it in a tomb

My mind is split and I regress into years gone by
and I can’t sleep
and I can’t create
and I can’t touch
and I can’t feel
and I can’t stop

I want to surprise you again
I want to inspire you again

Half of my soul is black and blue and half of it is gray
Half of my stomach is on the floor and half of it in my chest

My love is broken and belongs to years gone by
and I can’t sleep
and I can’t create
and I can’t touch
and I can’t feel
and I can’t stop

I want to lie with you again
I want to lie to you again

is nothing more
than learning to play
a new instrument

Well, I'm the real thing, baby
I'm the talk of the town
and I'm the one that you taste
when her tongue's in your mouth
and I'm the dirt on your hands
that will never come clean
I'm the bleach that you drink
I'm the stains on your sheets

Well, I'm the blisters screaming
every time that you touch
and I'm the ache that keeps you up at night
the sick you stomach
caught in your throat, you can smell me
I'm the plaque on your teeth
you know there's something in the way you gag
that says you love me

And I'm your bedbugs, baby
I'm that itch that you scratch
you get me caught under your fingernails
I spread to your mask
I'm your disease now, sugar
sickly sweet on your breath
so sweat me out
I'm the fever that you'll never forget

Well, I'm the real thing, baby
I'm that crutch that you lust
and I'm the limp and the cramp
when you're trying to run
I'm your infection, honey
your point-oh-eight percent
you see, I go down easy
and you won't feel regret

And I'm your fleas now, sugar
crawling under your skin
you watch me hatch, I'm starving
baby, feed me again
I'm the body writhing
in antibiotic
swallow me whole, my darling
take it slow, I'll act quick

I'm the rash on your skin
I'm the dust in your eye
I'm the hole in the ground
you tried to crawl back inside
I'm the womb, I'm the host
a parasite with a twist
I'm the maggots crawling in the wound you cut
I'm the stitch

And I'm the ashes burning
on the soles of your feet
I'm the sliver stuck under your skin
you tried to lick clean
I'm the scars on your back
the needle mark on your vein
I'm every thought you'll ever have
I hope you'll have me again

'Cause I'm your bedbugs, baby
I'm that itch that you scratch
I'm caught up underneath your fingernails
and under your mask
I'm your disease, you chose me
muttered under your breath
so sweat me out
I'm the fever that you'd love to forget

a watched *** never boils,
shine red letters, “9:09”
a watched wrist will not cut itself
this wristwatch won’t keep time

my pockets they are full of sand
i think i need a drink
but the bottles are all filled with ships
the salt is full of sink

the kitchen drawers are filled with clothes
the bedroom tile’s stained
theire’s bodies lying in the tub
i flushed it down the drain

“it hurts, it hurts!” i cry out
through the painting on the bed
the pink and blue’s a vivid grey
that noose i made from thread

“BATTY, BATTY, LITTLE ONE”
a psychic claiming womb
“we lies, we lies” he hollers back
a whisper, shoebox tomb

when tap run dry tap tap a vein
i wait ‘fore you(r) reply
the alphabet’s your master now
subvide by multiply

my my my you’re growing
every new voice looks the same
each set of eye’s thats staring back
deferent different game

the early bird just passed we
floating downward wrinkled skin
worm slither in your fat cells
to your wheels on broken rim

we’ve eaten all my vegetables
i’m eating all that’s green
whom made you king i’m paying
there is something underseen

name starts to sound familiar
daily hourslongs each week
enough milk baby didn’t drink
she too loud when i speak

i cut back on the coffee
i’m not laughing, ha ha ha
one tweak, I’m boiled water
it’s 9:10, a smoking ***