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Jenay Breden Oct 2013
The cretens slipping through the trees
Nooses wound tight for the hangmans head
The angels weep n **** their guns
Fire charring the vocal strings of the innocent
Comparing battle scars to shooting stars
Its all in desperate wishing
Desire for their fallen deeds
Dragging steel shovels at their heels
Claiming bragging rights for dead dreams
Slow destruction of the spider webs
A delicately demolished reality
Those trapped at hells gates are singing sinfully.
Jenay Breden Dec 2012
Dreams, dreams
Clouded eyes, shuffling across balance beams.
Engorged ticks, ripping at their seams.
Reminders, don't let your dreams be dreams.
Drop two doses of Lil' Miss Lucy.
Creating an induced world. Lucid.
Turning, twisting, swirling, swaying.
Everything is active.
Breathing, heaving, open the third eye.
Dive down deep, come up the other side.
Drift away, man on the moon.
Drowning in high tide.
Coming down.
Sleep don't come easy.
The world is pitching vibrations.
A body in knots, a stomach queasy.
Wide eyed getting lost in the ceiling.
Not knowing if I'm only dreaming
Jenay Breden Oct 2013
Twisted vines and  blood stained canines
Damp caves and sulfur mines
Prehistoric nocturnal brain waves
Caught the sun in burned out eyes
The lonely pull chains, mud caked stains
Singing, swinging on Saturn's sings
Jenay Breden Oct 2013
Keep the cold drops in your pocket
Come in handy to fake sorrowful moments
Standing in a crowd creates the worst solitary confinement
Wicked hearts dug up from the graveyard
On pickets, bait for the hungry wayward
Fog so low, hazed, evaporated into pupils
Relieving the red hot, blood shot, what a clear head
Carrying shovels on their backs
Eat the dirt they shower on you
Sand between your teeth, bleeding gums
Warriors with sharp axe pix instead of guns
The ravenous never sleep
Blood thirsty they want their keep
String em' up high and watch the angels weep
Jenay Breden Dec 2012
When this life finally stops, toward the ocean I will find myself.

Sit on the shore, and dig my toes in the sand.

On a foggy day, I'll wander under the dock, and not focus on that ticking clock.

The grey-blue haze, that sits on the washing waves.

Matches the color of my eyes.

I close them and imagine diving into the curling white water.

My legs start to bind together.

And where my ribs used to be, Gills start to piece together.

I swim and swim and twist and turn. And jump.

God it feels so free, just the ocean and me.

My lips spread into a smile, the wind sweeps across my face, and kisses my ears.

A toothy grin.

I open my eyes.

I'm still on this shore.

Standing up, I lightly step some-what on my tippy toes.

The oceans comes up to greet me, licking my feet.

I spread my arms out like I'm on a balance beam.

And turn in circles and start to sing.

Humming softly to myself, singing to the ocean a melody.

I flick the water with my feet, and keep walking in that teasing tide.

I pencil turn, and reach up and back down, drag my fingers in the water.

As I come up, SWISH, throwing the water across the space.The blowing wind, spritzing mist in my face.

I smile and dance, while the ocean and I hold hands.

I laugh and smile all alone.

But its drown out by the oceans dragging moan.

And I sit in the water like I'm 6 years old.

Starring out into that grey-blue foggy world.

I crawl a little deeper and start to slink around.

Touching the sand and smelling the water.

Dear god mother nature, how amazed I am to be your daughter.

Gently letting myself sink, I dig my hands down deep in the sand.

Pulling myself along the floor, letting the sand sweep down my body.

Forcing myself to the top, I briefly stop to rush my lungs with good ole' air.

Before sinking back down, until just my eyes show above the water.

Peepin my peepers back to shore.

And for a minute I see myself sitting there on the shore.

Staring out on the ocean.

I stand up, still wading in the water.

She stands up too. We look at each other from our distance.

Just watching, observing and there's no resistance.

We just stand and stare.

Are we one person or a pair?

I look to my left, and my right.

Look back at her, and wonder if she's alright.

I wave at her and she waves back.

That's all that's done, and we are one, and now we're back and she is gone.

Was she a part of me?

The one looking longingly into the sea?

Or just a figment of who used to be.

Two different worlds, living as one, walking further towards open water.

I move on.

It's getting stormy and starts to rain.

I get antsy and start swaying, with every wave that crashes through my chest.

I wait for the next,

Rolling monster and dive right through it's growling stomach.

So smoothly gliding back to the surface.

It's getting darker and the fog rolls in stronger.

I swim head first, crawling over every wave.

Reaching open water where the waves are much smaller.

Treading I move myself 360.

Nothing and no one but the grey-blue fog around me.

It's an eerie feeling but it feels just right.

Out here with no one-nothing in sight.

I turn on my back and float around, my ears under water listening to the oceans sound.

I can hear myself breathing, and the faint sound of my heart beating.

Ba-thump, Ba-thump, Ba-bathump, Ba-bathump. Beating faster and faster.

Pushing my up out of my daze.

Why had my heart rate started to raise?

Tilt my body back till my feet dangle towards the oceans seemingly never ending depth.

I spin slowly around.

Pure silence except for my treading breath.

I turn around again and again once more.

My eyes stop wide and I nearly sink.

When not 10 feet from mine, a large fin, sitting on a monsters spine.

It's just a fact, there's not much I can do.

But keep treading and despite the view.

Take in this marvelous creature, keep myself calm hoping he's not thinking "I'm gonna eat her!"

But the reality is that fin's getting closer.

I'm not afraid.

Accepting yes, because I am in the presence of greatness.

You have to respect the realm your in, and understand,

If you choose to swim, that you may drown if your not strong.

And you could be devoured before long.

Treading still I keep my will, breath in deep and then exhale.

Creeping closer, unusually slow

The fin disappears somewhere below.

My heart is in my mouth, and my spine feels weak.

I keep breathing slow, in and out.

I look across the water and up at the sky.

I let myself drift a little vertical,

As my pupils line up with the waters edge.

Slowly in this foggy grey-blue blanket.

I pedal myself around.

Not a foot away from me, that fin rises slowly, menacingly.

My eyes lock on that fin, and I watch it pass right around me, back to where it began.

Again and circle twice.

I reached my hand out.
Jenay Breden Jan 2013
Late night trying to enjoy my show
I tried to convince him not to go
But he came with me
The whole time spewing **** about our destiny
All I ******* wanted was to jam at my show
He kept trying to grind on me and wouldn't let go.
So I'd disappear into the pit
Just to get away for a bit
I wanted to turn around and punch him in the face
"Jesus Christ *******! Give me some space!"
So I'd smoke a cigarette
Because his company? I was ******* sick of it
We sat by the fire, while the show played
He'd whisper in my ear about how he wanted to get laid
Feeling uncomfortable. "Uh...Ok?"
I just wanted to see my ******* band play!
Decided to leave early
Cuz I couldn't stand his pressure clearly
He tried to kiss me
And get a feel against me
Pushed him away and said not today
BECAUSE I JUST WANTED TO SEE THE BAND PLAY
The whole way home, calling me princess
******* kid, your NOT catching my interest
He'd talk about his fetish or slapping my ***
Still wishing I had more cigarettes, I told him I didn't care
That I wasn't going to **** him at all, anywhere
What if I called you a *****?
Hmmm, NOT AT ALL, *******, YOU WISH
Still ****** and wondering what I got myself into.
I just wanted to see the mother ******* band play
So after a ****** 30 minute drive
I pulled into the lot between the lines
Ok, alright, have a good night.
He just sat in my car, pushing the subject
On getting me upstairs, to get his **** wet
Not that kinda girl, and I'm not sorry
Cuz I've got a guy who's got love for me
He didn't care, he took my keys and said "I'm *****."
Upstairs for 5 minutes, just give me a little baby.
Why am I trapped in this cliche...

**I didn't even get to see the band play...
Jenay Breden Jan 2013
Running on empty,
Lost luck and fumes,
Choking out victims, with a distinct perfume.
Rub the glass between your palms,
And let it bleed out the toxins.
Litter the house with crude memories,
Like oil churning, polluting possibilities.
Ripping wings from flies,
And the legs from a spider.
One by one, shooting cans like army men.
Bleeding out to start again.
Snarky saints believing they're saved,
Crying blood and burning sage,
To rid themselves of the rage.
Thinking they'll see the graffitied golden gates,
When all they're doing is shoveling their own graves.
Jenay Breden Jun 2013
I didn't feel so conflicted
till I got in the moment
holdin' strong egos,
like chessin' opponents
who could hold out and show they're the strongest
of love
tryin' to hide they ever felt any
but how could they
when everyone's the enemy
why would I trust you, when I'd do to you,
what you might do to me?
So cat n' mouse chase
won't look ya right in the face
lying to myself that I don't miss the ****** embrace
why even care when its just a race
for that feel good first hit
when it aint found
claimin rights to quit
quit ******* what
life?
ya man I'd be the first to tell ya
I've written a verse
on sacrificing myself for the own good
of the ******* earth
but hands on the shoulders
stopping the ******
from the right to shed skin
they're own contraband

n' now its tough
everyone thinks they're the diamond on the ruff
but told true to dwelling in the soul hard n gruff
keepin to the sunrise, lookin to the set
under nights hand guard
everyone's a threat
guns in the temple
consider em mental
for resenting the present social norm
of talking to everything and everyone
just to mold n conform

light n dark is a misconception
cuz there's lots of beautiful **** to be let in
by your own definition thas what matters
can't be bothered by other mad hatters perception
give what you need n always be freed
from the chains set in place by societies greedy ****** need

and
its all to ******* beautiful
to the human hating anti social
to admit they'd slice the life to their own sacrificial right
not abandoning light but the body gifted to the sight of others
that's what brings the sadness
cuz from the dirt, leaves and trees
is this made up ruling tyranny
madness to take flight n life
is just plain beautiful sadness
I had been at a wedding where my friends were getting married, an old lover was there, which is chill but both of us were awkward with each other, which is ok too.  It was actually kinda funny.  We have a habit of sending art or free flows to each other, I was sitting outside the venue drinking a beer and smoking when he left on his skateboard, and I vomited this free flow all over some paper.
Jenay Breden Jan 2013
Turning into each other
Like a rolling kaleidoscope
Humming vibrations of our vertebrae
Creating waves like snakes, shifting across diamonds
Darling, your eyes are the size of Saturn
The counter clockwise spinning of your iris
An alternate universe swirling inside them
The second hand is in high demand
The sun is breaking the mountains peak
A voice calls out not to speak
Lock your ears in the upright position
Slow melodic refrains
Echoing beneath the bed frame
Fatigue in our eyes, illuminating red hues
Burned out on the fork in the road.
I took some acid, thought about you a little bit, and wrote this
Jenay Breden Dec 2012
The overall meaning
Is teamingly seeming
With overly active imaginative dreaming.
And through your brain it's weaving.
And leaving messages.
In need of interpretive cleaning.
Its beaming in ways that can be so demeaning.
Reasoning toward a way of redeeming.

*It's Exhilarating.
Jenay Breden Dec 2012
i could sit here all night
staring at the cieling
feeling kinda alright
listening to ****** LP's
and imagining i can see the stars through the concrete
thinking, blank shots through this empty room
not really registering anything
nothing actually
if i'd only know if you are doing the same thing
laying down, eyes glazed
if i'd only know that you were thinking of me
then maybe i'd admit i was thinking of you too
Jenay Breden Jan 2013
We used to go to the zoo, on cold winter days,
When the sky was grey.
We'd look at the animals, and both feel pity for them.
Yet we'd walk the paths and discuss how were we ever different.
Maybe we didn't have iron bars,
But civilization sure put some there.
We'd make fun of people who said stupid ****,
Playing off each other and running with it.
****, you know what?
This is stupid, and I can't pretend to write about some dude send from cupid
Jenay Breden Oct 2013
A pity Edward Scissorhands was hired,
To clip the Phoenix's wings
Everyone applauded, Ooh-ed and Aah-ed at it
While Edward sat behind the curtain
Over a rusted sink he'd slit his wrists in.
Jenay Breden Mar 2013
When the bottles empty
The trains fly past thee
Homeless on the corner
Eyes are so lonely
Suns going down
Wind brings the fields alive
Trespass on the earths plains
Constant water flowing like veins
Stretching out like the roots from the trees
Capturing the living
Words spoken so softly
The bottles still empty
Fall passes and winter rolls
Coming down like meteors
The fields are smoking
Burning cigarette ashes blowing
Rising and falling
Slow melodic refrains
Seeping under the bed frame
Red eyes are closing
The sandman is crouched on the night stand
Can you feel the rain?
Warm hands around a temple
Sharing the night
Looking through the window
Now knowing which side is which
Incredible, the mind body and soul
Floating in and out of foggy weather
Ghosts treading through the leaves
Jenay Breden Jan 2013
My soul sings like the strings,
Plucked by the blues,
With harmony and in tune,
Every bit gliding though my veins.
Jenay Breden Jan 2013
I feel like I'm split in two places
Think of a mirror
Clean and if it's really that clear
Then that's still me on the other side
Splitting like the continental divide
Sometimes I lean in close and look in my eyes
And whisper "Are you alive inside?"
Tapping on the mirror
Thinking about the other side of that glass.
I feel like there's a whole side of me
Trapped under what I see
Not trapped.
Hidden
Jenay Breden Jan 2013
Today you called me on the phone,
Looking for a voice to let you know your not alone.
So I loaned you mine, and kept a soft tone,
To keep you calm and not alone.
When I hung up, you called again.
I couldn't give you a thing as a lover or a friend.
You've taken all I had, now its just empty space.
And now I'm using my time,
Learning to fill that space with a love that's mine.
Sending your weight, you sobbed how sorry you are.
I sat there silently with my head low.
Fumbling with my mix tape.
You just don't get it, you don't have a clue,
Now that you've let the sand slip.
Jenay Breden Dec 2012
I wanna LIVE - I wanna LEAVE
I wanna OPEN up and BREATHE
I wanna GO - I wanna SEE
I wanna FEEL it CONSTANTLY
Gotta SHOW - Gotta SAY
Gotta FEELING that won't go AWAY
I've gotta know if they've gotten away.
My opportunities

I need to THINK - I need to FEED
I need to know if I still BLEED
I need a PLACE - I need a TIME
I need to step outside the LINE
Gonna GIVE - Gonna TAKE
Gonna SCREAM till I'm AWAKE
I'm gonna PUSH - I'm gonna PULL
*Open the door
Yes
Jenay Breden Apr 2013
Yes
If I wrote a letter to myself, I'd tell myself everything.
The little and the big things, and all the in between things.
The long and the short things, and all the every things.

I'd say, slow down and take a breath, your treading water, your heaving chest
When things get hard, purse your lips, and give the world a ******* kiss
Smile on and give a wink, be yourself, dont overt think

And I know you, dont think I dont
Stop over analyzing and getting depressed, theres nothing for you to second guess
through lost love and a broken heart, theres nothing preventing a new start
And maybe that love isn't at its end, but just on pause waiting to begin again.
Patience, patience its a virtue, so make progress, its just something you've got to work through

So your mad huh? So what?
Scream and shout and kick and fuss
Dance all crazy in your room, sing and yell out of tune
Laugh at yourself, and keep going
Or maybe slink around at night
With your backpack on and that spray can held tight
Looking for the perfect place, to leave your mark, to leave your trace
Feeling victorious the next day, lookin at the stencils which you lay
Smilin'
Jenay Breden Oct 2013
When I think of you, I still remember the first time you said that you loved me
You held me timidly in the kitchen of my tiny underground apartment,
We were both drunk and it was awesome,
You took another gulp of your beer to calm the nerves gittering in your throat
But I didn't notice, because I was in my own heaven laying my head into your chest
I'd been dressed in ****** lingerie and I think at one point you snapped my thong.
You told me you had something to say and I looked into your eyes just happy to be there.
In a quiet voice you uttered,  I think I'm falling in love with you.

— The End —