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My journey from somewhere to nowhere.
With nothing beneith my feet.

As the journey ends, within my head.
My feelings of solitude are gone from my head.

As light leads me from my destiny within.
My eyes have finnaly opened and my dreams now begin.

With my past as my guide, from my feelings within.
My heart has now taken over, as my true life begins.
 Dec 2014 lost thoughts
Alexis
Kind,
Shy, funny man,
Did the best that he can,
To raise me to be what I am,
Beautiful baby girl,
Smiling every second,
What everyone wants in the world
Years pass,
Daddy always there,
Doing the best he can,
Raising me to be the way I am
Beautiful baby girl,
A baby no more,
Middle school,
Troubled;
Diminished smile,
Daddy where are you?
No reply
Daddy's soul has left his eyes
No more doing what he can to raise me how I am,
Doing what he can,
To stop the voices in his head
Searching for cameras,
In the walls,
Paranoia controls his all,
Delusions
President,
Police,
Mom,
Everyone out to get him,
Stumbling upon his daughters sketchbook,
Sketch unfinished;
Headless body
Voices,
Convincing to be dismembered,
Out to get him;
Dismember him,
Paranoia growing,
Irritability as well,
Mommy a victim,
Strangled, breathless,
By a body with no soul
Life flashes amongst her eyes,
Children being married,
Awakes,
Escapes,
Daddy's alone,
In a mental home
Not for long,
Returns with medicine to fix the harm
Daddy?
Void of soul replaced
Stability,
Daddy regained,
Medicine disposed,
Voices grow,
They're going to **** me,
The 9th,
Facing doom,
Departure to a highway overpass,
Aimlessly walking,
The edge
Concerned bystandards,
Authorities called,
Shouting,
Scared,
No way out,
A fall,
A crash,
Daddy,
Is dead.
The story of the loss of my father from schizophrenia and suicide. I'm hoping to raise awareness to mental illness, if you or anyone you know is struggling with mental illness please be there for them, & pursue them to seek treatment. I would hate for the heartbreak of another beautiful life to be reaped from such crippling illness.
Who is God ?
Who is this man called Jesus Christ ?
What is an Angel ?
What is worship ?
Where are they ?
When will I know ?
How will they tell me ?
Who am I ?
Why ?

I am not a very religious person
but these are my answers.

Who is God, God is love.
Who is Jesus Christ, he is understanding and reasoning.
What is as angel, they are helpers from god without feelings.
What is worship, worship is being thankful always.
Were are they, they are in your heart and spirit.
When will I know, is when you smile everyday without worry.
How will they tell me, is when you cry tears of joy.
Who am I, you are flesh controlled by mind or spirit.
Why, because it's love with reasoning and understanding.
raw love
Flowing with words
From your heart

A true meaning of life
Is sometimes without words

This could be easy
or
This could be hard

It could be your feelings  
without any words

we sometimes try to write it
but can’t find the words

It is your feelings
So let them be heard
As i sit here with darkness, fading in and out of my head.
I feel like i'm sitting here with a gun to my head.

Is it fear that has me or do I have fear.
I've shaved my firing pin, because I'm just not sure.

With tears running down my face, with no one to see me.
If the gun then works, i will know for sure.

I write this note, can someone please help me.
let me clarify, i wrote this for a friend that took his life, i'm very well, thank you guys for your concerns. I'm not going to take my life. David
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