I do not fear death.
But I do fear wasting life.

I don't fear the pain
of my skin burning,
the emptiness
of my last breath,
the aching
of leaving the ones I love.

I do fear
the lack of scars etched into my skin.
I do fear
the emptiness
of my thoughts.
I do fear
the tears that I will never cry
of a broken heart.

I want to meet all the people of the world
and share our ridiculous stories
before my lips become silent.
I want to make mistakes
and learn to be right the next time
before I see the Devil.
I want to fall in love with the Earth,
with the people that walk on it,
with the mud that gets under my nails,
with the sunlight and rain that my skin soaks up
before my body shrivels into ashes
flowing in the wind.

When the comes that I should die
and I still have not lived
I should beg the Lord
Give me one more day
I beg you, please!
I wish to feel the sun bake my withered skin.
I wish to smell the bitterness of the sea.
I wish to see the stars dance at night.
and hear the laughter of children running by.
Let me live
for one day
and I'll let an infant take my place.

I do not fear losing life
I only fear losing a life a that never got to live.

Sometimes, when I say 'I'm O.K.' I want someone to hug me and say 'No. You're not.'

Sometimes, when I 'smile' I want my friends to notice that even though I seem happy, somethings wrong.

Sometimes, when I write, I want someone to read it and know; they aren't JUST words, theyr'e my emotions spilling out on paper.

Sometimes, when I'm alone, I want to feel happy.

Sometimes, I want to be independent and not have to rely on burdening my friends with my whining to make me feel better.

Sometimes, I want my friends to ask if I'm 'O.K.' because sometimes...I don't want to have to say: 'I feel so sad I could burst into tears at any given moment.' Sometimes, I feel my friends should just know, the way I know.

I know when theyr'e happy for real, and I know when they're faking it.

I know when they hide behind a mask and pretend, but...sometimes, I wish people would see thru my mask.

Sometimes, I want someone to ask how I'm doing NOT because they have to, but because they WANT to.

Sometimes, I wish there was one person in this world who could see thru my mask...and wanted to be my friend anyways.

Sometimes, I want someone who understands me and my feelings.

Sometimes, when I say 'I'm O.K.' I want someone to hug me and say 'No. You're not.'