Betrayed by your docile nature
I will push you so far away it will seem as if I am the one disappearing
A dark tunnel arbitrarily chosen by a recognized force
Hitch a ride on a dark blue truck; fading into the distance
Time is inevitable but it flies, making the wheels more like wings
An hour glass figure stands at the end of the road
the closer we get, the less dark the tunnel seems
and soon the tunnel's darkness becomes the light of the world
As I approach the figure it fades into the scenery
Heart racing, I run to catch it
I pass through the field and he hides inside the woods, behind the dandelions
I follow him into an old apartment and he blends into the tearing wallpaper
I disappear into the wall, and reappear
chasing the big blue truck up an abandoned street
I miss it, as it fades into the distance
I realize I have lost track of the figure
And I am left with only myself as the world turns back into darkness.

Who are we?
An ever changing being?
No name, no face.
A figure as soft as a breath
In the morning chill.
Absorbing into nothing,
A phantom in a world of ghosts.
We have a spine,
But it is so easily broken,
That it is useless.
We have a body,
As fragile as glass.
It is pointless.
So I would rather be a breath,
and I would rather be a ghost.
I would rather be a being,
Invincible from the sorrows of man,
What a dream that is!
But we are broken beings,
And we always will be.
Until we become the breath invisible in the air.
Until we no longer know who we are.
Until we absorb into the nothing.

No.

Simple as that,

It’s not happening, I refuse.

You can’t deny me as long as I pretend,

Deep down, I know that this has come to an end.

There’s no fooling me anymore.

It’s crystal clear, beyond my fears.

I wonder if there will ever be a day,

When my mind will go back to normal,

And every time I close my eyes,

I won’t see your stupid lovely face,

And I won’t think about the things,

That I know you love and hate,

These now useless facts,

Are cluttered in my brain.

They occupy too much space,

And drive me close to insane.

On the brink of desperation,

These feelings transform into hate,

But this amount of rage,

Is unheard of and strange,

Completely misdirected.

I wonder who, and if, and what,

Or if I was neglected and dejected.

All of these futile things.

But really, I’ll do anything…

To deaf ears my promises plead please.

It was worth a try, I guess.

I know I need to quit.

My heart cries in vain,

Because it’s a stubborn *******.

The sadness comes so naturally,

I’m drowning in it,

Drained lifeless from the melancholy.

It spreads like cancer,

Ravaging my body.

The worst disease is memory.

Why can’t you just be normal?

Just another person on the street.

I’ll give it up, I’ll try,

Even though it’s still a part of me.

Each day I’ll think, and laugh, and grieve,

Until the point where it’s not unfeasible to dream,

Of complete and total inner peace, acceptance finally.

Skip the drugs
And give me a double dose of serotonin
I certainly do like those laughable days
The heavy sun reddening my face
Just a few minutes away from my lover's embrace
But I wait so I stay here and pace
Take the pills
So i can socialize among the saddening lies
And a week is a day
When your world starts to fray
So i take a seat with glass in hand
Waiting on a phone that will never call again
In my mind I knew this had to end
So take another pill
So the world won't seem so gray
And I make another pact
Not to die today
But I lie to myself far too often
To truly know the color of my character
Like the night it might be black
Like my anger when i look back
Or I could be a saint
Waiting on my rapture from a God of grace
All I know is that there is an end
Not so very far away

I'm so glad
that no one cares about
Me
or what I write
or what I do
or who I am
or what I think I am
Because if someone
Did
I might be forced
to care a little about
Someone else  
which is terribly inconvenient for
Me
and what I write
and what I do
and who I am
and what I think I am