Wind in the willows
Breathes on my skin
Beginnng to end
But an end to begin

Sounds on the breeze
Tickled my ears
Washed away stress
Relieved all my fears

Spinning in circles
For so long now
Wanted to stop
Just didn't know how

Pushed and pulled
I feel plucked and stuffed
So many wrong emotions
And I've had enough

I was looking for love
I had no clue
Did all of it wrong
It was keeping me blue

Wanted a new start
New life to mold
Yet running in circles
Is making me old

But I have seen
And knew all along
There's no new beginnings
And my end lives on.

So full of lights
And colors and gifts
People so happy
Seeing loved ones missed
Bustling about
Setting up their houses
Full of holiday cheer
which the season arouses
I can't hate Christmas
it just isn't done
even though it's so lonely
especially when you're alone
I can't hate Christmas
though I really truly do
shouldn't hate the holiday
I should just hate you.

I miss you
and I wish you were here
so I could hug you
I haven't forgotten your face
or the way you laugh
but I struggle to remember your voice
I see you in the rain
or when horses run
so wild and free
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you
when you needed me to be your friend
I was so scared back then

I have to live without you
but there are things I won't forget
your middle name
your favorite color
what you wanted to name your kids
or how much you struggled
or your victory when you proved them wrong
I'll never forget your birthday
or your deathday
I miss you
my friend
my sister
I miss you

Too many thoughts
Swirl in my head    
    They fight for a voice
    Things left unsaid    
In panicked fear    
The voices fight
      Sometimes all day
Sometimes all night
Voices like people  
   Trapped deep inside
       Who say some things
    I'd rather hide

Too many voices                  
Want to be heard      
Oft' I'll open my mouth    
And ne'er say a word          
       Thoughts so oppressive
They hurt me to hold          
It'd hurt more to say 'em
I ain't that bold          

                           Too many thoughts
                    Swirling within
                                           Can't tell where they start
                              Or when they begin
                       Together so loud
                               I can't take the noise
                           These voices aren't me
                                    What I speak is my choice!

Too many things    
I never could say    
           And nothing I do
Takes these voices away