I miss you
so much my heart beats out my chest
I'm trying to past this test
But God knows I need you
and as i fight my demons
struggle to find who I am
To become a real man
I realize i will never be complete
without you
and I know you don't love me
the way i want you to
and you don't want to spend the rest of your life with me
something I never fully believed we would do
but I still had hope
but that's leaving me
the same way i left you

have you ever seen a demon?

their eyes fill with hatred
but they act like saints around other people who don't know them
and i pretend not to see the demon
that has tortured me since i was seven
because they say it's against the bible not to love him
this very dark
thing
that hurts my sister and not me
if she would just keep her mouth shut
we would all be happy
and as it looks into my eyes
and decides to spear me
i wait for him to look away
take a deep breathe
and remind myself
"that's not a demon
that's daddy"

Your right im making excuses
The real reason I cant be with you
is because I'm to scared to

Every person I have ever loved in my life has died
or turned bad
and I cant have your heart of gold turn black because of me
I cant have anymore people cease to survive
so i try
and stay away
its the only way i keep the people i love alive
and its the only reason I feel dead inside

Yeah she hurt me
but thats not why I cry
I  cry because I hurt her
she left me
but it was my fault
I am the one who reopened all her scars
and now she cuts every night
more hurt inside
dont you see
people are hurting because of me
and my value is not in pieces
because I am in shards
all i do is hurt people
and i break through it all
I am not strong
I am weak
the only strenght you seee
is the strenght i get from you
you are the one who inspires me
but i cant get to close
I have to stay in my hole
get away from me
I dont want to break anymore souls
I dont wanna hurt you
please just go

You want to believe that I will be with you one day
but that will not be true
you are trying to play me as a fool
even though I smile when i think of you to
I know i wont be accepted
I have done to much wrong
I choose the dark side
it is where i belong
I want to be with you
but we wouldnt last long
because you are as beautiful as your songs
as lovely as the wind
while i am nothing
left in this world of people moving forward
as i move back
to hard for me to stay on track
and i cant have you holding your self back
to pick me up
I would die before I hurt you
havent I already suffered enough
Yes I love you
Yes I care
but I cannot be with you
for it would not be fair

With love i say
I have traveled this path
I have no idea how long this road will last
and I would love to have you beside me
but you are up in the clouds
dancing with angels
singing praise
You come and visit me some times
please stay
No why dont you come with me?
When I say no her smile fills with depression
**Don't cry child
Its not your fault they dont let demons go to heaven

I wish I could leave
go to the one place where this never ending pain cant hurt me
anymore