The things Ive seen have brought about the things I aspire to be. Yes she inspires me to be all I can be. Tho, my actions are unpleasant today. I hope she understands tomorrow. I hope she comprehends my actions and statements like the lady that's long left this nation. She knew me better than me now no one can see this pain that afflicts me. The voices that drive my mental, insanity, is the answer to the question they haven't asked. Long ago in past I meditated on my sanity in hopes the facued of being normal would last. Self medication takes place when the ice hits the glass and the taste of ***** and codiene numbs me face. Tho now when I see her face feelings of love take place. I love this girl tho it hurts me. I see the anguish in her face sadly I have placed it deep inside of her heart. Though one day like alchemy I'll make love from the pain. I wish to extend my days with her, because I can't explain the extent of my happiness when I'm with her. Tho she's yet to truly know me the different personalities within me. The dreadful things I've seen, the caged beast that lives in my words, the worries of life, the twist and turns of my brain, the differences in each name. Mentally my brain is split in three, tho, physically there's only me. So she cannot see; that the poet brings peace to me, Jay is a few pieces of me the good the bad and the ugly that's what most people see, Jaykhuan is at the root of me the grimey, the dreams of people shooting at me, worse than the ***** I'm expected to be, and still smarter than the ****** trying to flex on me. So you see Jpoetry mends these words of pain sewing them on a string to stitch beauty in my brain. Jay always escapes but I hate for Jaykhuan to get out his cage. The criminal who hides the pain. Tho at night she soothes me happily. I've finally found what happiness can be her life and family bring happiness to me. So motions of devotion grow strong in my heart, but my heart hurts because I've caused pain to her. Tho willingly I'll endure to ensure that our lives will be drawn out successfully. I'll endure her pain the silent tears in her name, and hope the grand scheme of things won't turn her away. The drugs in my vains take away my pain, but can't numb the disappointment in her face. So I hope, pray, and believe that she'll learn me so she can see, can understand the actions that overtake me are not just for me but for us. It breaks me when her anger makes her cuss. Tho for us I'll remain tough so down the line this love will bring love to both of us