What i needed was the new life coming into mine. In this period of time i was hoping to tell you hello and possibly goodbye, I was looking for new people, the attention of someone new. The embrace and the warm hello of a new soft voice, the different kind of embrace that told me, "i was your friend, i think you are worth more than that" would also be nice. In this period of time I realize who i am and become afraid because the weeks are trickling away. In this time I realize what the scarred were talking about when they say that its easy to give away all of your trust to one person and be positive that they will give it back and its easier to cut off the string completely. I think she cut mine a bit short. In this time i realized that my left over love can be thrown at a rebound and tossed right back into my face with stupidity. In this time i realize how the attention i've been looking for was in the dirt i've walked over a million times. I brought them back up and greeted them with a smile because i knew what it was like to only rely on one friend. She was enough but im scared that i will completely latch myself onto one person. In this time i realize that loving them was hard. In my present time, were ending this short period of time. I realize that these weeks are exactly what I needed.

the help that you need is so unclear and you walk past it everyday. you walk past them everyday. "i am alone in this, no one sees me" is what you repeat to yourself. as if your mirroring yourself, mirroring what you are thinking into, what you think is no one. the mirror that is being shouted at is not you, the reflection is the other people who know exactly who you are, because they are you. next time you look, look further.

i hate writing these. october 3rd. its been a fun time but as i was told when i fell from a swing at 10 feet over the ground that all fun things must come to an end. she sounded unsure. as if our worst enemy had pointed a gun against her back. distance. the dancing between AM and PM has come to an end. the difference between this one was that this was my favorite song, and she was my favorite partner, my favorite escape, my favorite muse for my writings. im sorry that im so far my lovely, but it seems that distance has shut off the music.

There goes a weekend and there goes another one of my interests. There goes an interest and there goes someone I was in love with for a weekend. There goes someone I was in love with for a weekend and there goes you. You? Are still here. You are not a weekend. You, Someone I will be in love with for much longer than a weekend. You are someone that I aspire to be and somewhere else, there is someone else that looks up to you as well. You make me envy the people that pass you everyday and not dare to try and see you the way that i would.

Hey, if you need a constant in your life and you are afraid to speak to other people. Look into religion silently, it is low to believe in something that is not there; but only you will know.

WAIT. Stop sitting back. Oh god I want you to be up when you hear this. I know im gonna sound crazy but if you have ever been in a well of sadness or wanted to **** yourself. Dont ever trust the people who tell you to just wait it out. You are not made to mourn; as it is the biggest waste of time. The key is found in yourself and when you dont want to get up, the will is things that you do for you.