If I saw a mountain, I would climb it, until I reached it's peak
With a drive to stay alive and prove to myself I'm not too weak
Battling self doubt, playing fair as not to cheat
Casting aside all of my flaws, none that I would keep
Scaling the walls to gain perspective, if blindfolded I'd still peek
Protecting secrets and all slander, Holding back with tongue in cheek
Chasing after unrealistic goals,
Whether too high or way too deep
Burning all my bridges, the only option left to leap
With no courage left inside me or the faith I ought to seek
Mustering up enough resilience
To separate the normal from the freaks
Gushing perspiration, soaked from head down to my feet
Drenched and sweating bullets, so much that I thought I sprung a leak
Words too often come without action,
It's plain knowledge talk is cheap

There’s something that’s inside me
Everywhere I go
It tries to disregard me
It tries to run the show

I opened up a can of worms
But that’s not any of your concern
If nothing else at least I’ve learned
Build it up to watch it burn

I did not win the contest
I did not win the fight
Losing became a habit
I wasn’t all that bright

I chased and chased to no avail
I tried and tried but always failed
I fell and fell time and time again
But I never ever got derailed

I stood up to my opponents
I had fortitude and drive
I gathered information
On what it’s like to thrive

I changed the stars above me
To better suit my needs
I became a man I’m proud of
Agree to disagree

A hurricane is coming
One with devastating winds
Time to hunker down and pray
Much to my chagrin

Worrying about our safety
Our unease and concerns
The danger here is eminent
Swirling as it churns

Time to be with family
To guard and to protect
Preparations made
For what hasn't happen yet

Waiting on impending doom
Hard to not feel gloom
The crack of lightning and the thunder boom
The gusting wind to its own tune

A form is born, yeah
Commission override
Straight into an aftershock
Imagining my pride

When it's over
The shift is made, yeah
Combustion in the pipes
That's my trade, yeah

Had to stop it
Called in the troops
Always slamming me
Kicking with those boots

You have passion
A truly great lovers tool
You had me so connected
But I was way too cool

Your a technician
A master of your craft
Asked for a promotion
He just sat back and laughed

So now it's game time
Just like tradition
Sent me out on
A greater mission

When completed
I went on home
My mother waiting
Speaking on the telephone

What came next
I shouldn't say
Had me distracted
Not in a bad way

Oh, how long I've waited
The games have just begun
Starting over
I've already won
I've already won

You mean the world to me
There is no denying
You cracked your whip
Truly death defying

I had a good run
No complaints
It's time I moved on
After finishing in first place

Nothing ventured
Nothing gained
Asked for a promotion
Now I'm getting paid

No dilly dally
Let's be on our way
There's nothing more to do
There's nothing left to say

How do we change who we are?

The perception of yourself, from everywhere; near or far.

I've searched inward.
I had hoped something would jump out at me, but it did not.

If I could remember what I've forgotten, it would help thicken the plot..

I look at peoples ****** expressions as I gauge my retort.

I see disappointment in their faces, for something as trivial as the way I hold a fork.

I have a basic comprehension of how the world works.

I am often too difficult to read and come off as a ****.

I am quiet when there isn't much to say.

So I listen, and wait.

I ponder what I can add to any scenario or situation.

But I first have to rise above all my own mediocre expectations.

I pretend to be comfortable in the company of others.
Maybe it shows through?

There are many questions I ask myself, yet I get few answers.

What is it that separates you and I?

Where does the respect that people have for one another come from?

Where does it go?

What sets us apart?

Is it our upbringing?
Is it derived at birth?
Is our destiny laid before us, for all the years we walk the earth?

For my beliefs, I need permission
Wishing
Wishing never comes to fruition.

I enjoy my quiet, but often times gets dull.

Too much time spent thinking,
Can make one want to crack some skulls

What's wrong with me?

I say, "What's right with me?"

All anyone ever wants is acceptance,
Mixed with a little common decency.

Treating me as I treat you all in good harmony.

Synchronized in thought and sending out only good vibes.

A give and a take.

A Yin and a Yang.

Not the spewing of words.

Words spoken or not spoken; proper, or slang.

Just a general, fundamental statement to let us know we maintain .

Some acknowledgement.

We may inevitably, some day, drown in a pool of our own self pity.

But we do.

We do feel sorry for ourself.
"Poor me, can't ever catch a break."

Never made aware of it, until it's too late.

Dashing off, never to be seen again,
Like a high school prom date.

The ups and downs.
The highs and lows.
Bare naked to the world.
Totally exposed.
Underneath my color, coordinated clothes.

Knowing, isn't always the answer.

Doing, is.

Do it.

Just do it.

Let yourself win.

Despising ones self for the person they're not

Takes a lifetime of practice
and all that they've got

Stuck in the past and a prisoner of time

Locked up in shackles
In ones very own mind

Breathing in air that others deserve

Not sure why they're here still walking the earth

Remorse for a wasted life year after year

Seen through the eyes of loved ones and all they hold dear

As tears trickle down
Into a puddle of grief

It's all they can muster to feel some relief

Failure upon failure never tasting success

Makes a person feel worthless and praying for a quick death

Connecting with no one, left alone to wage war

Like a lion in sheeps clothing unable to roar

Waking from nightmares
Time and again

Not a soul to confide in
Not a single good friend

A constant struggle and the testing of ones own free will

Can crumble down the highest of walls that took years to build

No one chooses to enter or when to check out

Just an empty container
That's filled with self doubt

Conflict and turmoil and clouds overhead

Is where to find comfort when laid down for bed

A man that can capture
The heaven and earth
Stands cowardly before you
Unsure of his worth

Not a thought, nor a lie
Nor a second chance life
Not a soul to belong to
No one to call wife

My anti-social misunderstandings
I see the view from their eyes
Coddled and sheltered
Not one of the guys

Let gravity pull you
A chance to unwind
No cause for confusion
I hope you don’t mind

Timid and broken
Head’s pounding away
He’s a legend among us
What more can I say

Mystified


I’m mystified by the daily grind
And what it takes to remain alive
Through the eyes of passers by
Drip the tears that wont subside

Crying out through their disguise
Has led me to believe that they have tried
Tried and failed to win the prize
By those whom lived before they died

Dare yourselves to succeed
Do so non-apologetically
Strive to break from the monotony
In this life to which we now lead

Packed into capacity
A red alert like the blood we bleed
Continue with what now seems bleak
Until we embrace possibility

Depression is now a known disease
That often has gotten the best of me
As I teeter on catastrophe
I still stand tall to fulfill my destiny

Do not bend, do not break
Do it, whatever it takes
To realize all our hopes and dreams
And live our lives as though we please

We’re stronger than we know
Less likely to implode  
Inclined to survive and grow
To face all that is now known

Why we’d break the ebb and flow
Like festered anger about to explode
Held in check, cool relief
Attitude that needs a tweak

We are not perfect, rest at ease
Stay with me, exhale, and breathe
Take your time, plant a seed
And watch it grow into prosperity

Will you know my name, in the years to come
I set the world aflame, just me, the only one
My inner voice is screaming
With the beating of the drums

No, i'm not conceding
I will continue breathing
It's pointless to go carrying on
When it hasn't any meaning

Speculate and gravitate
Towards the vibrant light
Stare into my crystal ball
A vision of your plight

Plummet to your deepest fear
And let go of the reins
Cast your thoughts out into space
Disregard the pain

What to see with a trained eye
Louder than a falcons cry
Must always do and never try
Stop waiting for Mother Earth's reply

Until that day, just move along
Mumbling some forgotten song
Men in power, weak and strong
Must it be, that we belong

I pray someday you'll know my name
I'm someone different, not the same
As is everyone proud and shamed
We mustn't dwell on who's to blame

Make our mark, leave a stain
To wash, and wash, yet still remain
Thoughts percolating in my brain
There's really nothing more to say

I used to have dreams
Like most people do
Expanding my horizons
Just to get back home to you

But would it even matter
Do you even have a clue
I'm a walking/talking disaster
The opposite of you

You gave me hope
When I was down
You lifted me up high

You encouraged me
When all was lost
I still can't look you in the eye

You helped bring out the best in me
And for that, I thank you dear
You saw what I didn't see
Even through you shed some tears

I do not want to make you cry
Or suffer any heartache
The day we met I should have known
It would all end up in heartbreak

I can't take that day back
My hearts under attack
You knew just where to find it
Like directions on a map

I hold you in the best regards
No apologies are needed
The only thing that I can do
Is make sure it's not repeated

Now my dreams have all been realized
Your smile has returned
There is nothing to fear at all
No need to be concerned

You're the love of my life
There is no denying that
I just wish I knew the ending
The last and final act

Be it alexithymia;
Emotions without words
Or “Toska”, meaning
Anguish
The pain felt is absurd
Melancholy offerings
To help the devil ween the herd
Often go unnoticed
But sometimes it’s preferred
To hide amongst the shadows
Where the silence goes unheard
And can lead to new beginnings
Or new expenses just incurred
To the downfall of an empire
Where all reality is blurred

Quietly
A sound permeates the air
Whispers through the monotony
But there's nothing for the eye to see

Not a word, not a word per se
Can cure my curiosity
Or help decipher the sound I hear
That draws me in;
Into a false sense of security

It's shielded by the breeze
That whisks about the trees
Illusively transparent
However puts my mind at ease

Does it come in peace
Or is it destined to deceive
Is it a subtle plea for help
What's it fighting to achieve

Shall I pay heed and embrace it
Or plummet to my knees
Demand its validation  
Or ask it what it needs

Is there a common language
That would lead me to believe
I should be in any danger
Or be obliged to feel relieved

It's awkward to describe it
Very difficult indeed
It's not the buzzing of the bees
Or crickets hidden in the weeds

Not a frog related bellow
Or hummingbird that sings
Not a cord struck on the cello
Or a ghost from Halloween

It's steadily approaching now
Almost within reach
Is it from another universe
From some unknown galaxy

Shall I stand in silence
Await the laser beams
Or be resigned to be a martyr
To do with as is pleased

I am one who's of sound mind
Despite what you may think
In fact, I feel a sense of clarity
Far from a hazy dream

There is an urge to disrupt the sound
Emit a high pitched frequency  
But that would defeat the purpose
For the answers that I seek

What is that sound I hear
Shall I run and disappear
Let's drop this whole masquerade  
Please reveal yourself to me

I promise I won't be upset
If you expose your well kept secret
All I'm asking is that this be resolved
Before I lay myself to sleep

Junk man come,
Junk man go
Through the hottest summers
Through winters windy blow

Junk man paints his pictures
His art which never sold
Junk man's growing tired
Junk man's growing old

Until the day that he lay lifeless
His body freezing cold
His real name only a mystery
That no one really knows

Upon his death his final painting
Lay beside his frozen soul
It was displayed in a fine gallery
Labeled " From parts unknown"

In awe stood the audience
His work of art to be behold
Junk man's piece that he had painted
Was the true star of the show
Bidders for this work of art
Bid high until it sold

He left behind his legacy
He lived hard and he lived bold
Underestimated and discarded
He'd have been worth his weight in gold

I thought for so long
About writing this song
That I’d forgotten what it is
I was trying to say

That I had found a new meaning
To describe what I’m feeling
And I couldn’t tell you
any other way

I screamed it out loud
To the top of the clouds
Just how lucky I am today

That I found someone in life
To dream of at night
As nighttime turns slowly into day

The joy that’s inside
The wonder and pride
The time when I spent my summers away

Those were the days
Filled with bunk wars and raids
That I remember the fondest always

The summers of love
The fireflies above
Memories that I hold fondly
At bay

I’m a furry guy
Even when I’m fully clothed
I’m a furry guy
How were you to know?

I’ve never been into manscaping
Instead, I’m fully grown
Leaves from off the furry tree
Are completely overblown

It is my prerogative
It’s my choice to choose
I’m hairy from the top of my head
Right down to my shoes

If I were ever at a **** beach
The gawkers would just stare
They’d be looking at my hairy bush
And I would‘t even care

It’s my body after all
Your opinion matters not
It’s my body after all
There is no secret plot

No, there is no reason,
Why I should be ashamed
I’m a furry person
You’d best recognize my game