How do I heal
From the words I can’t feel?
When I just can’t relate
With what I write or create?
When the moment is fleeting
When my hearts filled with hate?
Because the love that you gave me
I couldn’t reciprocate
The passion, the care
The protection from fears
So I sink to the bottom
Drowning in tears

How do I talk to an angel?
How do I touch feathered wings?
Fallen, from the graces of heaven
To live as mere mortal things

Why does the sun rise over the mountains?
Why does it set to the bottom of the sea?
Far off, in the distant horizon
Come dive into the answers with me

This life is so much more than yesterday
Tomorrow is a promise we can’t keep
Right now we’re inhaling forever
Truth, too strong for the meek

I keep asking myself
Keep wondering how…
How do I talk to an angel?
How do I touch feathered wings?
Fallen from the graces of heaven
To live as mere mortal things

The sun sets, the stars shine, the night falls
As wings are the grass roots of earth
There’s nightlife, and moonbeams, and raindrops
If I could only remember my worth
When the moment finally arises
Do I stand up tall on my feet?
Do I rise to meet the occasion?
Or wallow in my own self defeat ?

So I keep asking myself
I keep wondering how…
How do I walk with the angels?
How do I gain feathered wings?
Risen by the graces of heaven
To become royal queens and great kings

‪Beams of light slip through the clouds‬
‪Sparkling on the Earth ‬
‪Raising flowers from their sleep ‬
‪For new mornings birth ‬
‪Dew dissipates as warmth rolls in‬
‪A new day has commenced ‬
‪And old memories of yesterday ‬
‪Fade away at no expense ‬
‪I’m hypnotized by golden skies‬
‪It’s beauty knows no bounds‬
‪For what I see with my two eyes‬
‪Deserves to be announced‬

There’s little warmth from a setting sun
I’m broken in more ways than one
The seasons change, and time grows thin
Still, I remain in my own skin
I aim to see the break of dawn
I wish on stars, then ****, they’re gone
So I’m gonna wait till they return
And give away what should be earned
A heart of gold, a caring thought
But they say that love cannot be bought
So I wait within a moments time
But the punishment does not fit the crime
So I think and introspect
And console my heart and it’s neglect
I ponder all the time in which I spent
Investing in the tears I’ve wept
The constant lies and disrespect
All the promises I’ve made and kept
I am no doormat or fawner for you
And I will not accept my number 2
I must come first, second to none
So I may feel the warmth of the setting sun

They want the most
The lions share
The fear, despair
The eagles stare
They led the lamb
Into the lions care
Formed as clouds
High in the air
The blood runs cold
The meat is rare
For what comes next
We’re unprepared
Raining blood
Red and cold
The king is fair
The lamb is bold
And there they sit
Like peas in pods
And the lamb still lives
Despite the odds

I sleep with one eye open
Still I get no rest
Regarding my flaws
To which I detest
I see myself from the outside
As well as within
The spiral, the downfall
Within my own skin
I border intellectual
Yet, I’m dumb as a rock
I fly my own journey
Far away from the flock
Yet, I clip my own feathers
I disable my will
If I were a fish, I would drown
Despite having gills
I envision there’s heaven
I contemplate hell
I flipped in a penny
At the old wishing well
But the penny had value
Where my wishes had none
I shy away from the moonlight
Just to stare at the sun
It’s good versus evil
It’s the battle within
In my chest there is heartache
So I counter with sin
I use words as my weapon
I throw daggers, throw darts
I aim at the bullseye
And I finish what starts
I’m persistent and ******
I dig deep, go too far
I threw out my filter
And I counted the stars
I counted 1 million
Which seems like a lot
But it’s only a fraction
Of the gone and forgot
Just a blip on the radar
In the existence of time
Yet, I feel like a legend
Inside my own mind

Hurdles confront me
I’m standing in place
Bound by the outcome
I inevitably face
Resistance is futile
How much time can one waste?
In an existence of quandary
Beyond time and space
That’s where my mind wanders
With my head in the clouds
Aloof and in danger
Still, I stand proud
Resilient or stupid?
It’s undecided, unclear
But it helps when confronted
With undeniable fear
So, I continue, my foot on the gas
My hands on the wheel
Till I derail and crash
And come to terms with what’s real
And hope it won’t last
Driven by madness
Driven to madness
I’m condemned to my fate
Exposed to the differences
Unto which we all can relate.

I know I’m a bit of a mess, I confess
But allow me to address you all
I’ve been put here on this planet
I’m manic; volcanic
To create art, and just have a ball
I write lyrics like a poet
Because I am one, and you know it
I’m stepping up, answering the call
I’m on the scene and ample
If you can’t see it, light a candle
This is just a little sample of the rise before the fall
I’m humble and I’m gracious
My mindset is audacious
My lyrics are contagious
And there is no hesitation when I stall
I chase it with a passion
It is my call to action
I gratify with satisfaction after all
I’m dishing out cold facts
Just to see how you’ll react
But as I’ve grown, I like to think that I’ve evolved

I’m thinking up words for my rhymes
Thinking of causes as I’m marching for dimes
I’ve been painting and creating my art
I’m no master painter, but, at least it’s a start
I’m feeling much better and I’m able to do
The things I put off, but want to pursue
I’m taking a trip to a musical fair
I’m leaving the country, I hope they’re prepared
You only live once, that’s what they say
Don’t put off till tomorrow, what you can accomplish today

I’m thinking up words for my rhymes
Thinking I’m clever, but it’s all by design
Life isn’t easy, but I’m used to the grind
Gotta take advantage, while I’m still in my prime
Seeking out truth in a kingdom of lies
Here I come, England, what a surprise!
I hope they are ready for what I provide
A British sense of humor with American pride

Change happens at a snails pace
Through power and greed we’re losing the race
Erasing history so we can force-feed our face
And live in a world with no style or grace
Which leaves me with a bad taste
Such a shame, what a waste
Stuck on this floating rock in Outer space

But who am I to judge?
Who am I to make a claim?
My voice rings out, but things stay the same
I’ll be dead and gone before they even know my name
And change won’t happen if nothings changed
Where I stand, I still remain
Hoping to not go insane

A soft touch and a cool breeze
The changing of colors on the fall leaves
But nothings changed if nothing’s changed
So I decided to stay in my own lane
A candidate for the hall of shame
With more pain, comes more pain
Unrelenting, yet unafraid

‪A red sky is baptized‬
‪The break of dawn ushers in‬
‪Hidden behind loose clouds‬
‪Sends shivers down my skin‬
‪The sun is aglow‬
‪Unresisting its fate‬
‪As the spinning earth, trembles‬
‪Not too soon or too late‬
‪A timed evolution‬
‪A welcoming state‬
‪Just God and his paintbrush‬
‪Oh, how he loves to create‬

Freedom is a fallacy
We conjure in our minds
It’s the mask we wear for the unaware
That helps us live our daily lives
A mirage for the alien
Lying doormat in our skin
That’s been with us since we were born
And crucifies our sins
A departure from benevolence
The collective human race
That stands there at the finish line
Laughing in our face.

I looked up to heaven
Then down to hell
I wondered exactly
Just how far it was that you fell?
Was it the garden of Eden
Where you first came to dwell?
Was it Lucifer’s persuasion?
Were you under his spell?
Biting the apple
Did you feel some remorse?
Considering the instructions
From a magnanimous source
Was it inevitable
Or an unforeseen force?
That led to disaster
And set us off course
Was Adam unwilling
Did you persuade him as well?
I guess what I’m asking
Is if you’re the gateway to hell?

‪It’s what I see and believe‬
‪Like lily pads, and lotus leaves‬
‪The wind whispers in a steady breeze‬
‪So I follow and dare not take the lead ‬
‪The wind, it pushes at my back‬
‪It leaves breadcrumbs down, for me to track‬
‪It fills the void for what I lack‬
‪And makes sure my mind remains intact‬

I’m broken, need fixing
But my body’s resisting
I’m at the threshold of losing my mind
The pain’s unrelenting
Constantly testing
My will to continue to strive
To get up and move on
Yet I still remain calm
Because after all, I am still alive
So I struggle and manage
Despite all the damage
Because it’s still no excuse not to try 

The water, it crashes
In waves, not in drops
From high up above
Unto jagged rocks 🪨
It leaps off the cliff
And continues to fall
Endlessly pounding
But, answering all nature’s calls
The force sounds like triumph
In granger; supreme
A powerful spectacle
But real, not in dream

The pages, they turn
Each chapter, each verse
A description, in letters
Invested, immersed
Will the plot thicken?
Will the story unfold?
Will the ending be happy?
Or bitter, and cold?
Will there be a sequel?
Are the answers revealed?
A book for the ages
When opened, unsealed

Running free in high spirits
Their manes flow in the breeze
Together in herds
On the vast open greens
The mares fall in place
As the stallions lead the way
Through fjords and through valleys
They prance and they play
At one with the landscape
Cohesive, untamed
Loose and unbothered
By rigid constraints

I’m in a battle with my own body
With a pain I cannot see
It covers me from head to toe
I’m in silent agony
It’s in my joints and muscles
And I can’t seem to find relief
I think it’s fibromyalgia
But I don’t have a degree
It’s just what I’ve learned through research
It hurts so much I cannot sleep
I’m ultra tender to the touch
I can find no sense of peace
I’ve been begging God for answers
Although I have no real belief
And I fear my prayers will fall on deaf ears
As I kneel on bended knees
I’m determined not to give up
And feel my health’s within my reach
But it’s the unknown that I’m scared of
As each day plays on repeat

There’s become something evident
That’s to my own detriment
I feel like it’s just a matter of time
Before I meet my maker
It’s no maker or breaker
The punishment just fits the crime
In a world with corruption
Lies and disruption
We failed in a lasting design
Evil roams free
Despite faith or belief
Which makes it not such a difficult bind
On one hand I leave earth
Of which I’ve hated since birth
Because my situation
Felt beyond my control
But what could I do?
I was young, with no clue
And I never had a sense of self-worth
Now that I’m older
I’ve got pain in my shoulder
And I haven’t accomplished a thing
I’ve fought and I’ve clawed
Excalibur sword
But I’m sick
And I’m too tired to swing
I know a likes just a tap
Not to sound like a sap
Or make you feel like you’re being kept on a string
But believe it or not
Just to sweeten the ***
I’m raffling off my old set of wings

I see hatred manifesting without knowledge of facts
Words being uttered, in hateful attacks
One sided views, never having walked in their shoes
In the absence of clues, still spewing hate and abuse
I see a divide, by what we see in the press
Devoid of solution, only instigating protests
A struggle for power, without morals, for greed
Regardless of the suffering, by those most in need
They say that our actions speak louder than words 
Yet, we turn a blind eye to the ill and disturbed
I see only division, when we should come together as one
By every human alive, on the planet we live on, with only one sun
Without change, we will suffer
We’re headed towards doom
If we don’t replenish what’s taken
And only consume

I was born into a hectic state
In a country well to do
Compared to the whole world at large
Our flag bled red, and white, and blue
I was proud of where I came from
I even joined to fight our foes
Until I grew a tad bit older
And more and more became exposed
About the lies, the crooks, the crimes
The power hungry minds
I found out freedom, was just a made up word
That was misleading by design
Happiness was no sure thing 
The struggle was too real
They taxed for greed
Not what we need
For our hungry, sick, and ill
So many lost and jaded
By what our government’s created
With false information and all rhetoric
That’s antiquated and outdated
Their lofty goals, revealed, exposed
Placating their ideals, for the voters polls
And as their power grows
Their true intention shows
Yet we sit silently complacent
Despite those that are opposed

The confessions of a self-critic
The one you can’t escape
That breathes in the same air as you
With every breathe you take
That stares into the mirror
Wondering when you’ll break
And laughs at your ineptitude
Because you can relate
The one that answers questions
With what you want to hear
That would rather stand in silence
Trembling in fear
Missing opportunities to share, with those that you hold dear
Not to mention not having any semblance
For a vocation or career
Constantly questioning your existence
And why it is your here
Crafting words to fit the narrative
Channeling your inner bard; Shakespeare
Not for things that wet your pallet
Greed is a sin you can avoid
You squint your eyes at the word hope
Because that theories already been destroyed
You’ll turn down your own mother
Suffering from a broken heart
Then throw a bunch of words down
Stand back and call it art
You’re selfish and you know it
Yet you’re reckless with self care
You’re too stubborn to change your life
Because you know you’re unprepared
Yet still you sit down on your ***
Too scared to even dare
Then complain that it’s too difficult
And state claim that life’s not fair
You’ve witnessed it
From your point of view
All the times you thought you knew
That life was not your choice to choose
So while you’re here
Why sing the blues
And walk around
Dazed and confused

Sometimes I wish I’d close my eyes
And not open them again
Left alone to navigate
How my time remaining will be spent
My light burns dim
My outlook’s grim
I see no future up ahead
I write these words, with a heavy heart
Laid up in my bed
There is no force that’s driving me
To get up and take part
Of the world we’re living in
Just to share my works of art
I create to feel relief
To add color to the grey
I see and feel inside myself
Almost every single day
I see rainbows in my mind
But the outcome stays the same
They highlight the good that’s left
In the corners of my brain
Sometimes there’s a *** of gold
But often times there’s not
It doesn’t even interest me
What I have and haven’t got
So I guess I’ll keep producing art
Until the air I breathe runs dry
Maybe then, I’ll get the answer to
The age-old question, why?

I’m an utter disappointment
A letdown through and through
I’ve meandered through existence
Avoiding my own truth
I stare into the mirror
As if I needed visual proof
Of a living, breathing, disaster
Of someone I thought I knew
Don’t reach out to me, I’m hopeless
I’ve been so since my youth
Wasting my short existence
I hope, will conclude at some point soon
I’m too cowardly to end it all
I’m just waiting for my cue
To take the plunge into eternity
And end my doom and gloom
All the fight has left me
I’m in a constant state of blue
With not much energy to speak of
I’ve lost the will to do
To explore the world with wonder
For a new perspective; point of view
Everything seems meaningless
I’m withdrawn, I withdrew
Nothing new that life can teach me
Unless forbidden or taboo
I’m void of any passion
Nothing to inspire too
I’m confused as to why I’m still on earth
Simply howling at the moon
Just as a crying baby would
Fresh out of the womb

Always 10, Ren
Is back at it again
His heart’s on the mend
From the loss of close friends
At such a young age
He couldn’t dodge or evade
The wars being waged
Right in front of his face
Still, onwards he raged
His perspective was changed
Then stricken with illness
That caused indescribable pain
And for nearly a decade
It ate away at his brain
Misdiagnosed and untreated
He felt psychotic; insane
Until he met the right doctor
Using money, he himself raised
And then began healing
To douse, quench the flame
Which in turn, set the stage
For his songs and displays
Expressing emotions, in many various ways
Not for stardom, or praise
Or what the audience craves
It’s just what’s required to ease, tame the pain in his brain
Sometimes, words are no solace
Words can’t describe, or explain
But it can be heard in his music
That’s been written, arranged
And that can heal, as can the medicine, being shot in his veins
Just as well, for his audience
Who remain amazed, entertained

‪When the train runs off the tracks‬
‪When the odds are too high stacked‬
‪When the tide runs low‬
‪Yet, the tears still flow ‬
‪Keep resisting the attacks
‪Whether self induced ‬
‪Or sustained abuse ‬
‪Find peace in where you’re at‬
‪Stay safe from harm‬
‪In extended arms‬
‪By those that have your back
And if you can’t find love
At home, or above  
At least find peace and love within
For life is short
So why resort
To live in hell within your skin?
‬

‪He’s attentive and mindful ‬
‪Obliging, and kind‬
‪He has a sense of fulfillment ‬
That’s hard to describe
‪He’s spent time in the sunshine ‬
He’s made rather large strides
‪He’s held hands and danced‬
‪When given the chance ‬
‪He smiled for awhile‬
‪Helping lives feel enhanced ‬
‪He gives merit to morals‬
‪He’s accepted, acts calm‬
‪He lives in the moment ‬
‪And when called on, responds ‬

A metamorphic mountain
A metamorphic climb
A subconscious effort
To help describe what’s inside
The motivation, determination
The inspiration, and drive
The mission, the focus
The goal which we strive
The purpose, the meaning
What we’re here for; alive
Will we know when we get there?
Will we know we’ve arrived?

Medals of honor
Of allegiance and pride
Fought for, or earned
A recognition of lives
Of performers, performing
Their duty, through pain
To be adorned and admired
For goals achieved and attained
Through hardships, struggles, and toil
They still produced change
When they could’ve stood idle
Dormant and tame
But the lion inside them
Was ferocious, and roared
It demanded attention
It would not be ignored
The renegades, the heroes
The legends, the lore
A celebration of people
Who went beyond, and did more

With our backs turned to the waves
Tanning on a sun filled day
We adhere to what the body craves
And reap rewards, within restrains
Sounds of seagulls
Crashing waves
Pose for pictures
Snap away
To replay
The memories made
That we’d never wish to trade

Many questions remain unanswered
Of what little still is known
About the theories and conspiracies
Of the house of wood and stone
What all did transpire there?
Were the stories heard, all true?
Could evil still be lurking by?
And could this happen to you?

A glance, a look
Was all it took
So many years ago
And to this day
Your vibe; Feng shui
Turns baby blue
My darkest gray
I’m in blissful awe
The love’s still raw
When I look upon your face
I see our lives
As intertwined
Which can’t be copied or replaced
You fill my needs
Through your good deeds
I’ll never waiver or compare
You’re my moon and sun
My whole universe in one
And I cherish every second that we share

I rise from where I slept
Morning breakfast’s prepped
Lighthearted conversation
Not too heavy or in-depth
Coffee and a biscuit
Or a scone to set the tone
Maybe, a spot of tea
To put our minds at ease
And discuss the coming day
How to do it, and in what way

I see open fields, and sun drenched skies
All hellos, and no goodbyes
A back and forth, with wise replies
A good time spent with alibis

Hearing melodies, that soothe the soul
We lose ourselves, and in a sense, control
Of our bodies movements
From high to low
Being free, and letting go
All while feeling, I’ve found my home

Wrapped in safety, immune from harm
A goodnight kiss, with warmth, and charm
I’ve been relinquished, rendered, deprived, disarmed
Found my inner peace, before I buy the farm

My anguish spills onto the canvas
The expressions, I try to convey
They’re projected, using multiple methods
A visual representation, put forth, on display
What I create, it speaks to my vision
My understanding, in tangible proof
It might produce, more questions than answers
But there’s a fine line, between fiction and truth

A royal enforcer
A king to the throne
A cunning lord; leader
That let it be known
Fierce like a feline
Agile and strong
The decider of fate
For those in the wrong
Fair and deliberate
Constructor of laws  
Don’t be fooled by his whiskers
He’s got razor sharp claws

You’re the muse that I choose
For your creations and views
For all you’ve been fighting
For all you’ve fought through
One who’s loosened the noose
Of a built in excuse
Still, you rise to the top
Relentless, unstopped
With pain in your body
You still hip and you hop
Your sounds in my eardrums
Cascading, aloft
Serenading the airwaves
I salute you, hats off

He’s accepted his condition
That’s hindered his ambition
Putting on an exhibition
Rooted deep within tradition
He takes on all opposition
Then redefines the definition
Making his own rendition
Using verbal ammunition
Thoughts he’d hide away from others
Which contradicts his inhibition
There isn’t that much thought involved
It’s his own conscious decision
To spread the love, the vision
Of an unsigned Welsh musician
That’s still overcoming obstacles
And put in an unwanted imposition
Yet, he continues on his mission
Turning dreams into fruition
Rising tides so big, they’re renvolutionized
Based in facts, not superstition

‪The fires lit‬
‪The sparkles fly‬
‪The only question is‬…
‪For how much time? ‬
‪Enjoy the moment ‬
‪While it lasts ‬
‪Memories, they form our past‬
‪See brilliant colors ‬
‪In the moments shared‬
‪It can’t be purchased ‬
‪By a billionaire ‬
‪It’s celebrations ‬
‪It’s feelings felt‬
‪And being at peace with yourself ‬

or run rampant
Act a fool
Decide the rules don’t apply to you
be resistant
Runamuck
Maybe you’ll have better luck
But always question
Never trust
The world we live
Is not kind and just
Be resourceful
Be aware
Try not to be caught unprepared

And if life hits you
Disregard, don’t react
They’ll just drink up the teardrops
Then manipulate facts
Use wit if you have it
Wisdom reveals gold
Someone once said that
That shattered the mold
An out of box thinker
Who’s expression is art
That can’t be hung on the wall
But felt in your heart
A pendulum *******
Not a battle, a dance
of light and dark shadows
While giving patience a chance

Poetry are words
That cannot heal the pain
They can describe it, well, in full detail
Unshackled, bound by chains
If used proper and correctly
They can change a point of view
Attain what they’re after
In whichever form they choose
But that defeats the purpose
Of their task, their common goal
That holds with it, the meaning
Of every living soul
A comparable ambivalence
On a common level ground
That echoes what’s inside of us
And lifts us when we’re down

Emerging from a blossomed lotus‬
‪She’d found enlightenment and chi‬
‪A vital element, to be at one‬
‪With all life and energy ‬

‪The pappus of the dandelion ‬
‪Floats away the seed‬
‪Until all have gone, with budding fruit ‬
‪To fertilize and breed‬

To sprout and be reborn
Seeking warmth in rays of sun
And shelter from the storm
That inevitably will come

It’s nature we should nurture
Find balance, inner peace
It’s within our rights to have it
And well within our reach

Climbing the vine
I’m resigned to align
For an unknown conclusion
No one alive can describe
Will I vanish for good?
Will my soul fly to space?
Into the ether
Fade away, get replaced?
I’ll climb up for answers
Until the stalk ends
In hopes of inclusion
In the broader scope; lens

‪In the distance ahead ‬
‪Opportunities await ‬
‪Ones that are created  ‬
‪Not resigned to cryptic fate‬
‪The unknown, the igniter ‬
‪My will sparks the flame‬
‪The challenge, my survival‬
‪From the wars waged in my brain‬
‪The fight, it is endless‬
‪The battles ensue ‬
‪As I continue on searching ‬
‪For the next right thing to do‬
It’s my foresight, my vision
That I’ve become well aware
My purpose for living
To create art and share

They deny prying eyes
Built stern for their aim
The protectors of secrets
Of the unknown; unexplained
Crafted with purpose
To conceal what’s inside
Taking painstaking hours
Through hard work and pride
There’s no flaws that you’ll find
In its build or design
Or opportunity given
To see what’s behind
A key is their master
In command and control
The determining factor
Of what’s revealed or exposed
Without it, it’s hopeless
Left to ponder and stare
And wonder what ever happened
To the duplicate; spare

Why do I look up to the sky expecting to see what I do not?
From the kingdom in heaven
As I grow old and rot
I lay sick in bed
A new year has come
Lying under my covers
I’m indifferent; numb
To the bursts of the fireworks
To celebrations and toasts
To kisses under mistletoe
I’ve disengaged, I’m morose

I’m uninspired, undecided
By the options provided
To live or to die
I’m in the middle, divided
To step or to stop
I’m conflicted, misguided
My moral compass is broken
I’m in darkness, under my eyelids

Because when I open my eyes
I don’t like what I’m seeing
Face-to-face with mere mortals
We choose to call human beings
But what does that mean?
To be unheard and unseen?
Following made up dreams
Hoping to be saved or redeemed?

From the pain that we’ve caused
And all the pain felt within
A life filled with heartache
Committing sin after sin
To myself, and to my loved ones
Did I not know or not care?
It’s only one life that we’re given
We’re not provided a spare

So it’s make, or it’s break
Triumph, or despair
We’ve only got so many options
And none seem too fair
You can be bitter, or grateful
Be filled with pride, or compare
Yourself against others
Be mundane or add flair

But is it a conscious decision?
Is it pre designed or prepared?
Is it an unchangeable outcome?
Are we running circles in squares?
Are there solutions to problems?
That I’ve been missing; unaware?
I’m just a walking conundrum
Too afraid to be scared

Just gonna trust
The stars that align
If it’s my time, it’s my time
Who am I to undermine
A greater powers design
That remains hidden from eyes
Our entire lives

So, I go with the flow
Blend in and compose
My wandering mind
That leaves me exposed
But that’s how it goes

I thought of chasing comfort
To attain a cozy peace
Filling my life with empty purpose
Just to justify the means
Instead, I battle with my demons
And I pick apart their brains
To come to a conclusion
Of which one of them to blame

Blind leading the blind
A tale as old as time
Hate breads hate
We ourselves create
Because we welcome in the lies

He overcame a bout with psychosis
Betraying the brain in his skull
It drove him to fancy dying
It broke him, left nothing, null

He recovered and became famous
Through persistence, he made it all work
He’s now a hot rising artist
Who’s got fans that all go berserk