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Angels come to me unseen flying around my face,
my eyes see the sparkles, the clouds leave a trace.
Know that they are around me, stopping me,
protecting me, allowing me, but not suspecting me
Angels whisper in my ear softly on what to do,
They try to lift my spirit when feeling so blue.
They hold me, they pull me, towards the happy bright
light, show me sparkles in corner of my eyesight.
Tears have fallen and they dried them up with their wings,
They have played me songs in the town bells when they ring
Angels are around me and they are waiting for me ask,
Wanting to know what to do, their next crazy task.
Shining their wings thru the clouds so I can see them at times,
Sending beautiful signs, pictures flowing through my mind.
Angels are holding me everyday, this I do know
I have no doubt, as sure as the breath my lips blow.
Knowing they leave traces of themselves all around me;
Angels are everywhere in the trees  Be still, just let them be,.
Magical and enchanting, mystical and surreal,
some would say that they can hardly be real.
Ask them, which is what they want, to help us now,
Your answer, will be short, one word ........ "Wow"!!  ,
I love Angel and I know they are helping me everyday.  I believe they want us to ask them for help.  God created them to be there for us...to help us...I believe so much.  Love to all!!  Love and Peace!  Janna
happened on the day special to me
It was a text not so plain to see
There were many texts sent to me that day
I failed to see it  in right there displayed
For my eyes only in my inbox
Feeling like a deer in headlights
was my eyes detoxed?
It was my Mother's day message that
made my heart skip a beat
IT was a Mothers day wish
that made it quite complete
I know that i had to rub my eyes twice
to see the special and lovely surprise
I felt your love and felt your love
everyday of my life since you left
My intuition was good,  at my best
You were my gift sent from above
I felt it I felt it all of your love.
The best day ever for a long while.  I love you S.N.
I feel like a soldier calling
ONWARD!  But then I know I am in the NOW
and the NOW is telling me to move ON Right NOW
I am ready
I am going
and I am falling forward on the journey
to a new and free ME
Tnis movement is freeing
from being
A prisoner of narcissistic endless cycle
of highs and lows
a place where I felt that there would be hole to go
Goooo!!!!  Right now.....Escape right now!!!!
I know I can make it out alive and free and lively
and happy and be happy and be free
Then my one hand got stuck on the hole, the door to
the hole
The door that is there all the time and waiting for me to be free
The cycle can be so habit forming and feel so secure at time
But the circle is deceiving and tricky and nightmarish at times
I am getting out of this nightmare of a endless cycle today.  
This day is time stamped of my GREAT ESCAPE from an
endless personality disorder and slightly narcissistic rabbit hole
My name is not Alice
I love my name and I love me and this endless crazy non stopping
cycle of craziness doesnt even say my name all the time unless he is mad
at me and then does he say my name to make me feel upset, panicked  that he saying my name to make me feel disconnected with him
Him that feels disconnected all the time at different times because
he is always someone else at different times.  
Me catching up to the personalities that will be a never ending endless way of not dealing with his own Past and My NOW!!!
The past that he hardly remembers but yet lives the
nightmares everyday in his changed personalities that he brings out
for whatever he is trying to either endure or get away from,  
This has been my pain everyday and then good days not knowing if they were
going to become bad days.  Days of saying...what did I do?  What just happened?  Why did this just happen...again saying ....What did I do?  
No more asking a stupid question to myself for something that I know
that I didnt start or do.....I did not damage this time of day or month or year
I didnt not make him the way he is.  I endured him long enough.
My time is over though still had wonderful times and  beautiful at times
memories.....but the end of the day became dark so much as his personalities displayed his darkness to me.
I dont want the darkness at all anymore
I will always feel for him.  I will always have this love for him.  
But my darkness doesnt even match his shade of dark anymore.
I am light again.
I will march on
I will stand on my own
I have escaped
I am free from his personalities and mental abuse
I am free
Thank you God and Angels above
I am free........
I am
I....................will not look back.....Dont you dare look back
This is done in total feeling of wanting to free and going to keep walking with my head going forward no matter how much I see pain in the other side of the hole.....its a window...
You touched my heart
A part of me that is untouchable in reality
You can not literally touch my heart with your fingers
Even though you can touch anythng on the outside of me
Energy that you have within you touches my heart
Energy comes from your Soul into Mine
The feeling can be felt...not seen, only seen  
By my eyes as they fill with tears when you touch my heart
My heart feels your pain, your love, and misses you
As it fills my whole body with blood that circulates through
my human body and my Soul that you can not see either
It is there, and my Soul feels you loving me and it feels when you dont
love me.  
My heart and Soul know somehow that you dont like me or think what
I do or say is stupid or just unbelievable.
My whole being feels your pain when you hurt.
I feel everything around me and it that energy sometimes is so strong
that it consumes me and makes me feel like Im suffocating.
I walk away, I hermit myself as I look out the window knowing that I will
get back out and join the world and all those feelings   I am an Empath.  Glad to feel you.
Your Soul met my Soul and my Soul knew yours
Since then, years and years walking through lighted doors
Doors of places we both been before
Being Lovers , Being friends, down to our cores
Your core I have loved and played on and
played with, held and swayed with,
and wanted more and more
Until we parted to leave to soar and blend
Only to start over again and again and again....
Hardest part of leaving you is feeling your end
and you cant stay,
but then the beginning comes back  around our way
Deepest parts of my Soul knows light without mine  yours may decay
As I walk the walk to Heaven and look towards the sky
Asking myself how I ever left you,  I ask why? Oh Spirit Why?
Seeing your hand, reaching out only longing for mine, clutching, pulling me
up like a deeply rooted vine
A vine that grows within our Souls up through our
spiritual spine,
The golden thread breaths you back into mine,
To once again weave us, embrace us, to be sewn so entwined.
This must be what past lives means,
Never ending endings and rebirths for our love
Carries our Souls by white fluffy Doves.
Seems we are all waiting for the end to begin
and the beginning to end
Now I know there are loves that you meet again
later in your journey and it may seem almost unreal and blurry
But your are here for a reason I feel it in my Soul's heart
Ill either see you again in the middle or End or maybe at Start
But either way I know that in all the lives that I live,
it will always be my heart and soul to you that I give
Janna Lynn Lee Dec 2019
It seems we all dream the dream....
of a time we all can come together....forever.  Those days of being free were great for you. For me.  For everybody!!!  
The days of fun in the sun and driving and laughing and coming undone.
Waking to the next relentless day always thinking we would be okay.
Regardless.  
Never no doubt, never so sadness.  
Hardly ever no grief or maddness.
We lived to laugh we lived to love.   We lived to love and give.  
STOP
and think about the fun for a while,
Here it comes.   Wait for it......
what comes next is the Smile.
Janna Lynn Lee Nov 2019
Where are you
Why did you leave me and you
You know now Im blue
with pain in my heart
pain that feels we're apart
Pain in my head, my body, my mind
Can't you just know that I need a sign
I miss our love only me and you knew
I miss the things you said and would do
The sparkle of your eyes and the deep look you
would dart
It clung to my Soul and my heart yes my heart
I miss you and you I know you miss me
But you made this move, do you not agree?
I would of been against it
I would of fought a fight
I would of held on to you more tighter than tight.
If I knew this would happen and I would somehow lose
you
Cause the shock is real,  I didnt have a true clue
I would of held you tighter, smiled till my lips would shake
I would of made life more of a party like everyday ice cream
and cake
I would of shined more and listened more and went out of my way
To make you see differently and JUST STAY STAY STAY!!
I hope that you see me writing or reading this and how much it makes my heart
hiccup and hiss
Or maybe you just are holding off because its hard for you too
Maybe it was even harder for you and thats why you didnt give a pursue
All I know is that you are gone and that I can only see memories or a
photograph
But Im telling you my darling, I would give millions just to hear you laugh!
Millions to see you one more time in my journey until it is my end
Be still my heart and YES my darling we definitely will meet again.

written with love
by Janna Lee

Peace and Love
Janna ....of course...xoxoxoox loolol
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