Everything inside of me is
Whispering your
Name.


                      *mike

i write haikus for
a girl who probably won't
read any of them.

She did not believe in love
She’d never seen it
Never felt it
Her body responded to their words
Their secret meetings
Revealing her true intentions
She would never be hurt
Her heart made of diamonds would never break
She would not be defeated
*** was her army
And she was winning the war
Her body was a weapon
Land mines hidden on the mountains and in the valleys of her body
She was protecting her most prized possession
Her heart would not be broken
Again

I have become
fluent
in the language
of your
body.

Walk upside down on your feet
Run inside out into the snow
Hold your insides so they don’t fall out
But be your own person not someone you don’t know
Gather your harvest and sweep the porch
But never let down your guard and keep that smoke
Don’t get drunk on love
Get wasted on Jack
Be the bigger person but never apologize
For being right and letting yourself down
Run away to a field
Have *** with a stranger
**** your closest friend
******, axe, incinerate the remains
Love to the fullest
You know you want to
Maybe hate to hide the love
Never know till you try

I've been "strong" lately
no contact
for a painful amount of time
excruciating, wonderful memories make their returns every night
each moment alone I'm sick to my stomach
love's acids burning my tissues
strengthening my regrets
i need more than your presence in my unconscious world
stories that awaken me with hope and leave me disappointed
love me back
spend one night in my dreams and you'll fall in love again
at night the truth eats away at happiness
my confident school girl act doesn't cut it with the darkness
i clasp my sheets for stability
but hell knows my place when the sun goes down

Sometimes I wrap my arms around my rib cage and pretend they’re yours.
But they are far too weak and my fingers are much too cold.
They provide me no comfort and just make it more painfully obvious how alone I am.
They hold me together just enough so I won’t fall apart completely.
But I’m growing weaker and it getting harder not to just cave in.
To just let go and have the pieces fall where they may.

Try? I'd rather do.
Then make it all seem like it's less for you.
Perhaps we'd have got along better,
If all those mishaps were "probably not".
Stop
I'd have rather,
But who's still listening?
We let these things go,
Though still know,
That the extroverted world is listening.

She knows that I now
It's all still part of fantasy.

For her lack in interest of anything of mine,
Her subtle peace of knowing why,
Makes my bones quiver.

She's something I'd never realized I'd ignored,
Her curls, her peace,
Her shy, her eyes,

Maybe I was wrong.

I once dreamt of ashes and dragons
As dark ravens loamed over  my sleeping form
Planting cadaver kisses along me neck
Stepping into a river of colors
I asked myself if all of this was worth it
Gasoline rainbows painting landscapes along my thighs
Iv never smoked a day in my life
But I love to play with fire