Catalonia
This is my first opinion in a new slim volume of vignettes
they are celebrating in the streets of Barcelona they are and the independent nation now,
they were independent, but now they are a republic.
Tomorrow the people will be sober, where is the money coming from,
they have to print their version of the Euro, the one they had is no longer a legal
tender. Businesses and banks are moving to Spain, Catalonia is a member of no one.
If the Catalans are willing to suffer years of need, just to be a republic, that is ok,
but this freedom movement full of propaganda of suffering Catalans will hurt them
more than Spain that merely followed the rule.
It was not about independence but about money Catalonia is prosperous an as
the saying will not pay for the poorer region it is as simple as that.

Golden locks
The girl I fell in love with years ago when summer
was excellent, and we bathed in
the lake I didn't ven kiss her but patted her shoulder.
                                                     I wanted to embrace and kiss her making her mine
                                                      but feared to ruin our friendship which was for me
                                                      a costly gift in my new life in a foreign land.
I had written about it before she was so young,
her bright, lovely smile I could not risk that with my
clammy hands around her slender waist.
                                                       There was more I had lost someone like her before
                                                       I had lost her in lust and forgotten her friendship she
                                                       had been my mate till she tired of me and left.
She is still there in the village, divorced now with a son and a daughter who treat me
like a grandad, they treat me well ring and bring me gas bottles when needed,
and it strikes me by not making love to her,  I got the best friendship can offer.

Local Memorial Service

Outside the funeral agency two employees
dressed for their job, stood smoking, by the pavement
a hearse with coffin inside stood waiting.
finally, they threw the butts in the gutter started
The car to take to the church where the casket would
be decorated with flowers and then with a cortège
of mourners followed behind led by the local padre.
There were no many men among the marchers, they
thronged the bar on the way and only joined
in the last minutes.
The padre did the rituals and packed up and left
the mourners cried and there were many handshakes
among the people and talk about the dead person
who apparently had been a bit of a ******* cheating
in cards and not to be trusted.
Of course, nothing of this was uttered at the cemetery
it was later in the bar the person of ill-repute was mentioned

Soft coat

On the rapid asphalt road
****** fur, a rabbit caught
in the glaring headlight of
a speeding car.

Poor creature, don't cross
the road at night, do not
cross at all unless you're
an angel and can fly.

No one loves a rabbit unless
it is a child's pet and lives in
a tiny cage. So run rabbit run
but on the forest's floor,

Holland

In Holland this sweet clog walking land
have too many cows realising methane gas into the air.
There are many gas explosions in Holland
no one has yet to connect the gas with the cattle.
But it is difficult for them the have fewer cows.
Once I met Prince Hans of Netherlands, I drove his stuff up
to his farmhouse and he never paid me, and that is way
they are successful living in the middle of Europe and
somehow voiding paying tax.

The Enemy among us
The western world has lived in peace for sixty years
mainly because of EU and shared horrid memories.
This has not been the Palestinians case who were
shooed away to give room for a colony called Israel and
those who object – freedom fighters- are called ISIS.
The USA have dropped bombs in the middle -east for
a long time and produced more ISIS fighters which now
is a common name of all who do not like being bombed.
Ex-president Obama sends drones they are intellectual
from the out- set. Trump drop a bomb the biggest in the world
it made a terrible noise, and 36 Taliban were
killed, they too are called ISIS.
(In Trump's case one wonders if he suffers erectile dysfunction)
China and Russia is ISIS in disguise, as are left-wingers
and those who do not believe in the American dream.

The re-membered

Speak to me of a memory that ran into the sand
taken by the high tide drifting away
but at low ebb glitter on the lonely strand.

Speak to my memory as seen in a child's eye
when my mother was young and danced
had laughter on her lips and stars in her eyes.

Speak to me memory in the haze of dreams
when life was lovely, and summers were long,
hold on to your vision of yore till your life ends.

Speak to me a memory of your time as a ******
when life was often sad, but books made you sane
in every port a letter from your mother.

What will be will be

It was raining all day he sat morosely
on the balcony, today he sits on the terrace
and is still pessimistic despite sunny weather.
He wants to go back to his cottage in Algarve
to soak up the atmosphere of what once was
say hello to the trees, birds and bees and
things that annoyed him like dog crap outside
his front door and the holes in the road
lugging firewood, sleep under three duvet and
on top of two mattresses, he is not a princess
hear dogs barking in the night and feel safe.
Last time he was home had forgotten the keys
had to break a window inside the yard to get in,
despite this, he had slept well to the choir
of howling dogs, with a belly full of wine and bacalao.

When time is right

When re balloons float upside
Down and green snow whirls up
From ground


When the moon drips silver snot
And stars are moths eating holes
In mammy’s tapestry

When preacher of gloom stalk
Streets of fear and people hide
In tear-stained caves

When the skeletal finger of my past
Claws at my conscience, then I
Know it is time for a glass of wine.

The Enemy among us
The western world has lived in peace for sixty years
mainly because of EU and shared horrid memories.
This has not been the Palestinians case who were
shooed away to give room for a colony called Israel and
those who object – freedom fighters- are called ISIS.
The USA have dropped bombs in the middle -east for
a long time and produced more ISIS fighters which now
is a common name of all who do not like being bombed.
Ex-president Obama sends drones they are intellectual
from the out- set. Trump drop a bomb the biggest in the world
it made a terrible noise, and 36 Taliban were
killed, they too are called ISIS.
(In Trump's case one wonders if he suffers erectile dysfunction)
China and Russia is ISIS in disguise, as are left-wingers
and those who do not believe in the American dream.

The Cow

By the edge of the cliff where the grass is juicy
the cow tried to eat it all the last straw you can say
alas, it tipped over and fell into the sea
and since happened in Dover, it swam to Holland
and joined the Dutch cattle.
This was a good solution till the cow demanded
special privileges such as imported Dover grass,
when it didn't get it will, it swam back.
On the way across the channel, it was run over
by a Panamanian registered tank-ship.
Children had to go to school hungry no sausages
or milk for breakfast.
The ship, the farmer (not setting up a fence) and
the Dutch got the blame, this wouldn't have happened
if we had let, the cow gets its own way.

The Pelt
Dressed in a fur coat of starving foxes
she made her great entrance at the supermarket.
The foxes tore themselves loose
and attacked the delicatessen that served
cooked chicken in black boxes a and cellophane,
but avoided the cheeses display.
They had been hungry so long and lost the fear of mankind,
attacked the guard who tried to stop them.
Only when sated they slinked away so rapidly I was
not sure if I had seen what I saw, but the lady
who had lost her coat was cold, and she cried.

Appointment

I have unfolded my poetic wings
they have no feathers and the downdrafts
makes it impossible to soar
Tomorrow the doctor will see me, I have to walk
on a treadmill, just like Oscar Wilde
he wrote a book about it, I’m more modest
perhaps I can get an alternative poem out of the test.
I fear my doctor he has got cold hand and looks at me with distaste.
What I fear the most is a petrified blaze that turns roses into
bright diamonds no one will ever see and that oil spill
will cover the oceans with a rainbow slush.
Can't tell my doctor this, he will only give me a pill for it.

The Teeth
I sit under a skylight the sun is benign
this February day and its Friday come to think of it.
It was not a good night; sleep was interrupted by
this sense of being a failure, although I had not set out
to win the world's admiration, but I know of a lad
that had plans he ended up peeling potatoes, and
which can be an art in itself not peeling to deep.
It is my wife’s birthday, and we are going out for lunch,
Then we are going to the jeweller to change
The gift I gave her to something more to her liking,
I dislike when she does this, but it is her birthday and
as it is a said her only day to shine; of course, for me, she shines
Every day when she has taken the teeth out of the water
solution and put them into her mouth.

A Beach in Cascais

On the beach of Cascais
Human seals, jam-packed
Soaking up the sun.
Female seals
are eying each other.
Who has the best tan?
Then they all go home
To dark shuttered flats
The fear of being seen
At home by prying eyes
sits deep in the mind
Of the Portuguese.

Sunday somewhere safe

My fingers itch to write
but it will not be about the moon
it hangs there like a balloon.

I refuse to turn on the news
but a big liner was in trouble on
the coast of Norway

going to sea in winter sea
thinking they were safe in a big ship
you wouldn't get me on a cruiser

I have read the news Palestine
wants NATO to protect them
an idea met with ridicule by Israel

soon there will be no Palestinians left
removed to the outer fringes
herding goats and taken pictures off

the way primaeval people lived before Israel
came, an old culture was snuffed out, fluff
for historians to write about

Endless love
My brother is a commander
On the high seas
Never speaks to me
Now that he has mastered
Prising sky from sea.
The destroyer of love
But he too must see
It was a pyrrhic win
When the lovers meet

Sunday Morning

Puddles on cobblestones
Had a film of spent
rainbows,
clouds rested on rooftops
and tear streaked windows misted;
dejected curs  
sniffed the air as a damp army
of washing hung limply on balconies.
Church bells peeled  
the faithful prepared for mass,
unseen and
under arches the tormented
waited for the bar
to open and release them
from the agony of
their lonely inferno.

The Social Life

A monkey sits on the roof, eats a bon, bon
with its wrapper on teasing a dog.

I sit in the bar, with Sylvia and Fred, drink
cola through a straw.
Bottles on shelves promise me I will be
strong, feel at ease with this weird couple.

Fear will flutter away
like butterflies in a glade
disturbed by a hare.

A small glass of beer,
the monkey laughed.
came down from the roof.

I'm confident again
Fred is funny and
Sylvia is beautiful

Selling a cottage

I had my little house up for reluctant sale
couldn't get the reward I wanted decided not to sell
I'm moving to Cascais, and it takes time.
he cottage can stand here till it sags and needs
to be painted, too many memories we have grown old
together I need a facelift my fake tan can't cover
up the cracks.
I knock on the door two ladies outside they wanted
to buy my house for the right sum of money,
for a moment I hesitated, money is money.
Sorry, it is no longer up for sale and my little house
breathed again.

Sobriety
In the beginning, it is like walking on a narrow track
With olive roots over the ground to trip you up and branches
Of trees slapping you in the face, if you fall get up and
Continue to walk to be tired is not an alternative for a rest
The track gets smoother and wider, but it rains muds up to
Your ankles and you have to cross a stream.
After the ordeal you look back and wonder who helped, you inner
Strength the id it stepped in when most needed
Ahead is a shiny asphalted road waiting just for you.
I can't promise you happiness and Hallelujahs,
But promise this when at home and the day was long you
Will smile feel contentment for you have walked the walk,
Your feet are dry and life is not as bad as you thought.

The seagull that loved me

The seagull which lives beside the chimney
knew me since I fed it from the deck of a ship,
and it remembered me by waving its left wing
it had seen I am a lefty when throwing it dinners
not eaten by a crew who wanted cakes& ale
it had lived on the most easterly rock for
thirty years but had done to it advanced age
been threatened younger males, it gave up
its kingdom and by luck or instinct landed on
My roof. We ate breakfast together, it by
the window ledge outside eating sardines I had
bought the day before, I, a tin of tunny
I went for a walk when the sea-gull circled high
near the coast until its wings got tired and it
slept in the nest in had made beside the chimney.
During a fierce winter storm, it took to the wings
and I have not seen it since.

The inmates

The young prisoners with slingshots
fight an army that shoots back with sharp bullets
The young keep on fighting
An enemy that knows no mercy, control the water
supply and electricity.
How many young men and women must die?
Is the enemy willing to commit mass ******?
to eradicate a race of people?
The world looks but says little and some elderly
ask: why can't the young prisoners behave.

President Kennedy

50 years ago, how young we were I was on a happy
Little ship that had crew enough so no one got overworked
The ship ploughing blue water on her way to Jamaica,
It was a wonderful day and after the Cuba crisis, we felt at ease.
The peace was shattered through a crackling radio came
the message, President Kennedy has been shot.
It was like losing a brother, he was our generation he was
different from the other old men, he was the future our hope.
The work and voyage continued, but there was no laughter.
We tended to be pro-Americans back then, this has changed
As we read more and understand politics.
Ok, with this said no other politician has inspired us as Jack did.

The Trance

I sit on my stationary bike for half an hour a day,
it is incredibly boring if I have nothing to occupy my mind.
Today there was a stream of thought I waded out but
found it full old junk – junk can also be new- so I built
a wall of numbers to keep the rivulet away.
I fell into a trance, or think I did; an hour had past
when I looked at the watch, an hour had gone a new record.
The pressure of the flowing thought broke the wall
and sceptical I was not sure if I had had my exercise or
been asleep on the bike?

Poets and intellectuals

A big white screen I look at it and type a few words,
utter banalities about a washing machine, the brain has nowhere to go
but to think of the near things.
There was a time when I sat on top of a mountain feet dangling high
above ground when I thought if I tried could fly; everything was possible
now I’m dead inside. Death starts when the mind goes numb
and you forget your childhood, was I a Child? I don't know wish I was
a giraffe and could see life from a lofty height.
The TV bores me, I was never the poet I wanted to be I don't want
tomorrow to happen it is too difficult to write anything sensible.
The thing is to break new ground plough pristine earth and produce
something that doesn’t look like carrots.
But up from the earth sprout old clichés written over and over again
by respected intellectuals and famous poets, except for Oscar Wilde
they are just boring old ******* dressing up their ordinariness in
words we had to look up the dictionary to understand, but it is still trite.
But their reputation a great thinker follows them into perpetuity.

she was giving birth, a surrogate mother, to a rich childless couple. she had been instructed to not look at the baby, did and relented, she had given birth
a wonderful newborn how could she give it away?
sensible people told her it was for the best, the child would get a good education, she the mother could not give her.
Under pressure by the righteous, she gave the baby away
but she will forever regret her decision.

Consensus

Democracy, a hollow word makes me laugh darkly.
Is the USA a democracy? You can vote every 4 years
Among two parties who spring from the same narrow
The base of the elite and is therefore not Democratic,
but gives the illusion like the democratic republic
Of Kongo, to be one and go to war against those who
Has another opinion, say, freedom from tyranny
And interference of foreign countries.
Freed om is more important than democracy which
Is a hiding place for thieves and land grabbers.
Israel, knee-deep in Palestinian blood, is a democracy
That brutalize their own people into thinking they have
The right to defend themselves, thus behave with
Callous insouciance towards the opinion of others.

A River
It is a river in the middle of the landscape
not a famous river it has no university buildings
and it doesn't appear in ancient books.
In winters it froze up in spring it was deep to
cold to swim in, in summers for a short while
It was a place to go bathing, and then it became
too shallow, a yellowish dribble not fit for
anything but drinking water for sheep.
And that is the life we get what we deserve not
what we want, and no over-top lyrics is written
about it, just as well we can't have its banks
crowded by poets.

doctor. Lunde

Let us go to doctor Lunde she said
I found a place near the bus terminal that no buses
A police officer came and told the parking place was only for bus-passengers.
He offered to drive there us- in my car- but got the gears wrong
And we ended up in swallow lake.
You drove they are into the lake I said
But it is your car, and as such responsible, we called a tow car.
It dragged the car up, and at the same space, rules are rules
The officer said even when there are no buses.
We finally found parking outside the doctor’s office, he cam
Said it was his space and besides he was a chiropractor
Called himself doctor people trust them.
I lady from the cleaning- police said I had to wash the car
Instead, we drove to IKEA, looked at furniture with strange names.
Selling stuff, you had to glue tighter yourself
I’m not a handy man.
We ordered Swedish meatball without mashed potatoes,
You have to have mash the lady said it is the rule, so we ate
The ***** and left the mashed potatoes, the lady who serves us took it
As an insult to Sweden so we ate the mash too.

The rich
Are resentful
Of the poor
Feel
They have to
Pay more
Taxes
Then the poor
Hence hide
Their
Money
Yet still
Salute their
Nations
Flag
And show
A hunger for wars
It is profitable
And
The poor
Can do
The soldiering

Depression
I sat in a glass house
With a rose in my hand
The glass broke
A hawk
Took my flower
A broken window
It is getting cold
Soon it will snow
I think
The summer
Has gone
Yet I felt free after
Stumbling
Blindly in the cave
Of depression

The Doubt
People around here died twenty years ago
But no one told them they had had their funeral
And back behind the plough next day.
The Internet is foreign to them as is radio and TV
Spend their evening talking about burials and how
Many people turned up.
It is frightening since I know they are dead I must
Be as well only I can't recall my funeral and no one
When we sit by the fire telling anecdotes, mention it.

If alive how do I know I tried to turn water into wine.
It didn't work the water to cold.
I will now go outside fall flat on my face if it hurts
I should be ok, but it worries me that I can fly

The Balfour


Today in London
They celebrate the Balfour declaration
A historic shame
Israel by its existence
Is a momentous theft,
A catastrophe for the Palestinians

Dream night

My wine glass is full of moonlight,
drank and floated dreamily, on a carpet of night.

Couldn’t resist the moon’s pull, my home bathed
in a spectral light, both beautiful and mortal.

Flowers in the garden were deadly pale, olive trees wore
silver capes of unrelieved sorrow

This nocturnal landscape isn’t to my liking, put me down,
red, green and golden are my colours

But I did glimpse, behind the tall mountain, night’s ultimate
sacrifice, giving birth to dawn

The disappearance

The Gulf of Mexico suddenly ran into the Atlantic
left oil rigs high and dry.
Naturally, the USA claimed the land which was disputed
by Mexico and Cuba and Belize.
What was left of the gulf had rivers and lakes
and as the land greened it turned out to be fertile and
the Amish people encouraged to farm the land which they
did with earnest enthusiasm.
Village sprang up, roads were built, and the famous
veterinarian Jan Pol opened up his practice as well.
As years went by, people forgot that they were farming
on what has been the bottom of a sea.
The sea had not forgotten.
Slowly seeping in and those who had built luxury houses
were the first to leave, but the fishery thrived and
the shrimp business had a revival.
There was a mass exodus, and the Amish people went
back farming the land they knew.
When the water had claimed, all of the gulf and people
forgetting. There was only Wikipedia left to give
a brief outline of the past.

The Enemy among us
The western world has lived in peace for sixty years
mainly because of EU and shared horrid memories.
This has not been the Palestinians case who were
shooed away to give room for a colony called Israel and
those who object – freedom fighters- are called ISIS.
The USA have dropped bombs in the middle -east for
a long time and produced more ISIS fighters which now
is a common name of all who do not like being bombed.
Ex-president Obama sends drones they are intellectual
from the out- set. Trump drop a bomb the biggest in the world
it made a terrible noise, and 36 Taliban were
killed, they too are called ISIS.
(In Trump's case one wonders if he suffers erectile dysfunction)
China and Russia is ISIS in disguise, as are left-wingers
and those who do not believe in the American dream.

A dog and a Swan

I remember a black swan in a hotel's pond
it was a master of his domain or walk on the lawn
surrounding the lake.
A little yapping dog a spoilt thing how had caviar
for dinner, got to near, the sawn grabbed and
drowned it and lovely was the peace.
I should have interfered and try to rescue the cur,
but the swan made it clear not to step in, in a way
the ****** dog got what it deserved. this ladies and
gentlemen was an alternative poem.

Unwanted thoughts at night
“We are sailing along on moonlit bay.”
There is a song about it, but I prefer to look
at a painting of the inlet without people
sitting in a boat singing disturbing the beauty.
Last night when going to bed a twelve
I tried to think of nothing but a myriad of thoughts
got in the way, strange notions of how it must
feel to be a clog maker in a valley where everyone wore sandals
and the people steadfastly refused to wear anything else.
How to convince those clogs are better, I wear clogs indoors
but they are Chinese made and made of plastic and when
it is hot they smell I have to put them on the terrace at night.
Clear your mind and try to sleep.
I was thinking of Fado music that pulls at your heartstring and
makes me cry, sad music of longings without names.
Clear your mind and try to sleep!
Then it was morning the reached my duvet and never mind
the moon I  need a coffee,

The oldies blog
I know of a writer/poet who has dedicated
His blog to old age, being considerably older
then him, I think he is on the wrong track.
To write about a poet who couldn't find his
Specs, his wife saw them in the freezer beside
The ice-cream is chuckling, but overall people
Don't want to know about infirmity.
To write down what happens to an old person
On an everyday basis is not what young
Readers care about, say farting and trouble
With peeing, they want to hear about love and
The falling of love and the heartache it brings.
To see the object of desire talking to other men
The jealousy that gnaws holes in their heart
Old men should sit on a park bench, play cards,
Domino which is suitable for them but leaves
The rest to the young poetry belongs to them-

All alone in Paris

I fell into the Seine
Called for help in English
Was ignored.
By accident more than luck
I got ashore.
A man sat fishing
He was English,
“Why didn’t you call for help France?”
I’m a tourist
“Everyone should speak French I’m
A  Francophile. He said
And refused to answer your plea for help.

Titleless
                        A rock fell
Off the mountain
I listened
For the last echo,
Heard a sigh.

The Heat elsewhere
  
It is hot think of switching the air-condition on
but I think of the refugees from Syria waiting for a gate to open
Israel will not, want to become a nation of ******.
Jordan like ways has a million refuge and political problems
but if Europe pays them enough can take in some more.
The refugees are sweltering in the hot sun many have not
tents and there is no shade in this no man’s land hell,
I hope the Red Crescent and Doctors without Borders have
the courage to help, all I can do is send money and
not switch on the air-conditioning.

A tired day

Yesterday I walked to the tax office
Not that I had any business there
But the woman next door said it only took her 15 minutes
To go there.
It took me two hours going there and back.
Tired today watching cartoon a man was knocking
On the door of a suburban house pressing the doorbell
selling vacuum cleaners
A beautiful woman opened the door
My doorbell was ringing too; it was the waterman
And by the time I had paid him and taken the water
Into the kitchen, I was too late to see what had happened.
I like a cartoon; the impossible becomes doable.
The ship with for cranes is still at the anchorage perhaps
They can’t get a master.
Should I offer my service

The passing

It is so long ago; the memory is fuzzy as an old photo,
the room was warm, the coal fire burned lustily
I looked out of the window the street lamp swayed,
and snow fell. I turned to my grandmother and said
If the snow continues, I will take out my sledge.
she was still her reading glasses had dropped on the floor,
oh, yes I knew but kept looking out it looked
So peaceful I will stay here and admire snow fall forever.
I picked up her reading glasses placed them back on her
face, we had no phone I had to put on an overcoat  and
tell our neighbour, but before living, put more coal
in the oven, a helpless gesture, but I didn't want her to be cold.
Many people came; they took her away while I looked
out of the window watching falling snow

A Good Lunch

They didn't have a good cook at the restaurant
on the first floor, they have got a new one now
and it showed, we had a Stroganoff with rice
it was so good we had a glass of red wine each.
It proves my adage you can make a restaurant
with posh sitting and décor but its reputation
depends on the food served.
In my youth, this was not understood and you
got a resentful, rebellious character smelling
of drinks because he had to serve the cheapest
dish, again and again, this didn't matter so much
as people came to drink wine and sod the food.

The rulers

The poor rule the world, live in badly built flats
buy plastic ******* for the children as toys.
They can't cook and their diet is fat and disgusting,
but without them, the rich would not be wealthy,
fewer cars on the roads full of potholes as there
would no one to keep the road drivable.
And their big offices would stink as no one cleaned
them, which really doesn't matter as lifts would
be out of order, and no janitors to change light bulbs.
So you see, the poor are privileged they are
the rulers of our modern society the opulent can't
do without them.

Modern man and machinery

Now those nuclear power stations I have shown to be too dangerous,
people are looking for an alternative.
An open cast coal mine in rural Germany they are
destroying natural beauty in the hunt for coal which in
my mind is wrong.
The workers and the drivers are burly men in their fifties
and the machinery they employ is like substantial greedy aliens
the men work long shifts despoiling any life that might have lived here.
Open cast mining, dust and noise and a far cry from Nirvana,
yet the people live longer, but someday in the future, the bill has to be paid when tampering with nature.

The infancy of TV in Norway

He came home early to see the news
on TV. After the news weather forecast
Then a bit of entertainment
a lady played the guitar and sang badly
end of TV for that day.
He cycled down to the nearest pub
they closed at eleven, the town only had 3
Uphill was more difficult.
On Sunday. the Tv was more lively
mass, sport and the Flint Stones.
Monday evening, film night, often
a dreary Polish film. Good night!!!

A dog's life

The neighbour's dog barks
it heard me coming up the driveway
I usually stop and give him a cuddle
but today am too tired
When barking doesn't help it howls
I get up to go to the dog and play a little.
Dogs don't demand a lot they get sad when ignored.
Five minutes of my time and the dog is happy
Just sits there and love me with his eyes.
If only life had been so easy, but it ain't, the day has been filled with driving to
the mechanic
to repair her car and driving her back twice.
When old one likes to be left in peace for a day or
so, and since we are moving I have to carry her
stuff, sometimes she forgets am eighty years and
Have a pacemaker. Hope she will come home late
meet some friend at the supermarket she likes people
as I need a break from her relentless demands.