how many licks does it take
to get to the center of
your universe?

i'll never know

you bent your neck like you were trying to break it
as he posed looking contemplative, a little agitated
as if he wished he were somewhere else

and then it starts-
the race for "i cared less"
the emptiest chest
the slowest heart beat
no starters
no ready, set,
you'll know it when
you feel it

and dear, i know
he was a childhood home
he was warm wooden floors
and the view from your bedroom window
but he also feels like
ringing the doorbell to an abandoned house
and expecting somebody to let you in
you are the kind of girl who gets halloween flowers
you liked the part where he looked dead in the shower

*he didn't complete you, he showed you how to begin

there was beauty, love, fire, stillness, and i gave it all to you
you put both of your hands around my neck
had a grip on me like your favorite coffee mug
mouths never moved, just trembled

when you went home, your "i love you" started sounding like an apology
now every car crash sounds like the last time i heard you say my name

You were a simple bliss
Like a nighttime kiss
Love so surreal
Oh the things you made me feel.

Heartache and pleasure
Things to forever treasure
As I lie awake and reminisce
I feel my heart ache, for its you I miss.

Where will these memories go
Sweet and lovely as you know
Push them out of my mind
Disregarding the sweetness, so devine.

Goodbye my sweet lover
I'll give you space, no longer hover
Sweet serenity I say one final goodbye
Hope that we will meet once again, later in time

12 am
Silly me, I caved in
And for the first time in months, I called you again
                                                  "Come meet me
                                                  at our favorite place."

Sitting down on the swing
Trying the understand the distance between
I see you walking closer to me
                                                  "I was wondering when
                                                  you'd call my phone."

I couldn't resist
I missed your sweet bliss
Leaning in, you stole a kiss
                                                  "We should leave
                                                  it's pretty cold."

I climb into your car
You hold onto my hand, yet seem so far
Those hands, so gracefully, strummed your guitar
                                                  "I was asleep when you called
                                                  I hope you know."

The way you said it didn't strike me as odd
A sarcastic manner, so I managed a nod
The way you tried to sound annoyed had seemed so flawed
                                                  "Where exactly are we going
                                                  on a night like this?"

You pull up a song
and start to sing along
turn it down a notch, then think for far to long
                                                  "An adventure my dear
                                                  is what tonight's all about."

Fast forward a bit
to when I'm biting my lip
where we're alone in your bed- your hands stroking my hip.
                                                  "I've missed the way
                                                  you loved me."

And now we're laying, you've drifted off to sleep
My thoughts have gotten far to deep
I steal a kiss upon your cheek.

I turn away and start to move to the other side of the bed
but even in your sleep your hands wrap tighter around me and pull me closer instead
and all that motion speaks for the words unsaid.

Whether it was the need in your embrace
or the look of longing on your face
loving you was always the worst chase.