What is the hardest part
                    Of being alone?
It's the quietness,
A stillness making
What ought have been a home-
a house.
It's filled with beds,
But those lover's nests
Are             Empty.
And the thought is
As occupying as a dream.
A dream you cannot feel
Because the loneliness is keeping you awake

With no one to hold down your fears
         And keep you safe.

what you know is flash cards
and laptop screens and college
applications. what you know is
who’s sleeping with who
and who wants to sleep with
you and what you know is
how to live through independent
films or how to fake an ******
or how to talk trash about
the people you (quote) love (endquote).
you don’t know about
the starving man under the bridge
who can talk for hours about
richard wagner, or how the girl
who sells her art on the street
has a boyfriend who beats her
then makes her shade his drawings.
you don’t know about
the abandoned building bursting
with sharpied revelations across
its walls or that when the sun sets
over the green line it’s almost
like the tracks disappear
and you’re left to glide over
hollywood dreams well past
their expiration date.
you don’t know this place.
you don’t know.

keep your ******* wanderlust
away from my skyline.

Its is only fourteen lines
He said, how difficult could it be
But I had tried a million times
If it was, then why wasn't easy for me?
instead of trailing dust, my pen collected dust
How can I write words that would compare
To such words of nature, love and lust
Nothing was important enough, so here I stare
With what could I fill a blank page?
Only meaningless love had occurred
I am only twenty years of age
This could have been morbid if preferred
Its only fourteen lines He said, Just try!
Don't compare, it wasn't easy, it was a lie

I love you.
Three words no wider than four letters long
That carry the whole weight of the universe.
Words we utter to each other so often,
Bystanders would consider them disingenuous.
But, baby, I mean every syllable.
When I look into your eyes,
When I watch you watching me,
My breath catches
And my heart feels oversized.
I try so hard to personify my love for you
In kisses, hugs, tugs, and strokes,
But kisses and hugs are created by candy makers
And tugs and strokes are done by artists.
Both of which, I most certainly am not.
However, I strive to convey my feelings for you,
Because I am sure of few things but this:
I am madly,
Ferociously,
Unbelievably,
Relentlessly,
Incandescently,
Everlastingly
In love with you.
I love you with a love that has never been given
From any other woman to a man.
I love you with an immortal love
That is once-in-a-lifetime
And can never be repeated.
Our love is holy,
Unconditional.
I. LOVE. YOU.

I wanna kiss it
but its so hard
not sure how to bring it against my lips
and then my fingers up and slip
So soft
the place you make between my shoulders as they stand
the truth in your presence
the defautl in your eyes
unlike the lovely demise
in the powerful
but full of histories of deciet and self succumed lies
in a cloud on a pillar high
this is where I thought I might die
but death isnt the only escape
when beauty surrounds you from your mistakes
filters in through your insides
it leads you to a moutain top so high
the snow fall cleans you of your ***** hide
kiss you touch ouy
never call you mine
because I know better

not to contain higher things
clip thier wings

I gave my heart, I gve my soul
to the wronged of those

may I rest by your side
my ribcage exposed
to the love you know
from my touch
from my gental spirit
the light from behind my eyes
that reaches and finally does it touch
you heal me inside
you slip your sweet medicine between my lips
you swindle your breateh of life
I dont fight you with my hips
into my worried eyes
I fear not
not any more
so long as you are here
I can let go of this rope
lay your worried bones next to mine
and I'll do my very best to buy us this time
may the clock stop
as it does for the dead
because we are heaven lieing in your bed

kiss me once
kiss me twice
and I'll kiss you thrice
my worries drop as does this plunder
my thoughts roll from us like defeated thunder
I hold you whole
I hold you tight
I give you the same freedom, I give you the same rights
I heard you speak
of whats in your head
I'm smilling for the things you dont know that of which you said
fumbling in your sleep
you craddle my crown
as I dose myself in the sweet silent sound

I am fawn white
I am pure irridescent light
cloaked in darkness
hidden from sight
so that the goodness might prevail
even during teh trials of night

You, with orbs in your antlers
with moons on your tongue
you dont chase me
I realize I mustnt run
The power with in you
sends me still
even so, I am reeled
for the dangers I've met
for the dreams
I stir
I feel the safety in this allure
you sparkle in my eyes
from inside you
I see us side by side
standing tall
for authority we call

together we are safe
and with tired eyes
I will keep you warm and safe
to any and all expendeture
we are fair
a deiety in of itself
we are desired for being rare

I wish I might,
I wish I could,
I wish I knew how you do feel.

Sometimes I just don't understand,
I'm searching for answers like they're in the sand.
Why do you push yourself so hard,
When deep down in there,
You're just feeling blue?

Behind that beautiful smile of yours,
I see a broken heart.
A sad, solemn thought,
That you have somehow changed.

It's never your fault,
It's never your choice.
I don't know,
I really don't,
Know what you think anymore.

I'm sorry I burdened you,
I'm sorry I didn't know.
I threw you all my problems,
When you alone were down.

But still you came,
And still you forced that little smile of yours.
You told me to be joyful,
That I must be grateful,
For the things that come in life.

So same goes to you,
My dearest friend.
Be glad yourself for your own life.

This present from heaven
Comes and holds
So many wonderful things
And wacky ideas
That surprise you when you least expect.

I know that you can never be
The friend that I once knew.
I know that nothing stays
But change
And change just never stops.

Now I hope
That you can cope
And here I am for you.
I'll tide with you in the choppy seas,
We'll chase the storms away.

I know that you can never be
The friend that I once knew.
But now I'm learning to accept,
The friend I wish would come back again.