I never thought it would hurt this much,
seeing the world pass,
people smiling and living,
doing everything I'm not.
I sit alone in the shadows,
hiding from the world,
hiding my true self,
ashamed of who I've become.
A cigarette in one hand,
my lighter in the other,
watching the smoke surround me,
flicking the ash as it burns.
I bring it to my mouth,
another pull,
another thought,
the smile becoming faint.
My only real happiness coming from the rush,
each crave become more overwhelming,
it begins as a few,
it ends as a chain.
The only real thing keeping me going,
keeping my soul lit,
are these burning cigarettes,
yet I'm slowly smoking my life away.