He stays where he should be
He knows just how to shake me
Fate is not to blame
It all started with a red, hot flame.

He takes the glint out of my eyes
No longer am I in disguise
Fate is not to blame
It all started with the broken frame.

He kissed me on the hand
Politely, as if it was planned
Fate is not to blame
When he burns as vibrant as that flame.

inside her lives a monster
with sly eyes
behind her pretty face he lies
behind her dressed robes in disguise
he braids her long golden hair
touches her naked skin
gently and shies
for centuries hes been hiding waiting to rise
playing games dazzling her mind
with a playful voice he asks her to join
she tries to escape
yet she always fails
seeking freedom in vain
she loosens her braids and sighs
she finally accepts her fate

The tree of life grows in a graveyard-
With my hands around the air,
I imagine you over there-
Sitting under the branches,
inhaling abuse
and
exhaling cursive.

In a dark and distant galaxy-
Upon a new world I seek-
You're healthy and smiling-
because, because, because, because
there is nothing as romantic
as dying on your kitchen floor-
There is nothing romantic
about waiting for you
to come home
from war.

Daughter, daughter
on the wall-
Why'd you let your picture fall?
Killing yourself for instant
pseudo-safety-
Killing yourself for nothing, maybe-
But the gun is still pretend enough
to put into your mouth and bluff
And say that no one can
save you now-
because, because, because, because:

You are your own lover
and you are your own daughter.
And you're left in hot water
but you stay in to try to forget
that you're cold inside.
And you drown yourself
so you can hide.

We're twenty-one and we shouldn't be.
We make love like there's jealousy-
We hide in reflections because we
assume we'll live forever.
There's a hotel inside of our eyes,
where we live in a disintegrating atmosphere-
people are seasons,
as the cars gather in front of what used to be here.
I didn't know we were old,
until I watched the skin fall
off your bones
and onto my body.

We can tell them to *******,
and to believe in you and me.
Tell them we're twenty-one,
and I loved you
despite every time you'd cheat.
Can I tell them that you're not a hotel
and that my stay can be more fleeting-
Why do they say that
I'm terrified of what you'd hide
and that you're the one that's leaving?

Fringe-love superstar,
I loved you so much that it left a scar.
Elephant memories,
get away from me.
The Hotel Lauren is for making love
out of jealousy-
Tell them to *******
and to believe in you and me.
I want to tell them that I'm different.
I want to tell them that my love is pure.
I want to tell them that I'm different.
I want to tell them that I'm more.

Sometimes
I cut deep into my own flesh
and pour salt
lemon juice
powdered glass
acid
into my open,
bleeding,
pulsing
veins.
Because that pain
is under my control;
I can pretend it feels good.
I can pretend I want it.

Sometimes
I crack open my head
and pour out words
feelings
thoughts
emotions
and fill it up with
emptiness
emptiness
emptiness.
Because losing myself
to myself
is better than losing myself
to the pain of losing you.

Sometimes
I want to *****
cry
scream
drown
and release all my
hatred
numbness
fear.
Because then I would have
released you.
I could maybe feel lighter.
I could maybe feel better.

Sometimes I open my blinds at night
So I can look into the stars
Until I am satisfied I fall asleep
Then dream of you
And how we used to look at the stars
So long ago now
I wonder if you ever think about me
As often as I think about you
And every star in that never ending sky
Reminds me of us
How many good times we had
And the flow of memories twinkle at me
Mocking my loneliness
Spilling the tears down my cheeks
Blurring my vision
The stars are fuzzy and I hate him
He can never know
How slowly I'll let go