Though the tides still turned
my heart and soul burned
when I thought that "We:"
*will most likely never be...

My guts and the stars' guts consists of the same stuff
which means, not only am I in the universe
but the universe is in me.

The lamp post with the shoes around it
that's what I want to write about
The one approximately forty yards northeast
from the view at the start of my driveway
Located in the middle of the end of the culdesac
It's funny because thare are three shoes:
My left Converse All-Star,
Cole's right Nike,
and the third one i cannot make out
In fact I can't recall who threw them up there
All I remember was feeling pride
in not only my community,
but in it's history
Tenby Court is where I'm from
I lived their for eighteen years
We call it the TBC
I look at the shoes now
and I get that same feeling
But now the only difference is
there's another feeling
accompanying the pride
It's one I haven't felt in a while:
Nostalgia

You never felt mutual,
but I don't really care.
I don't know if that's true,
so my judgement is unfair...

When I wanted to see you,
you cut me off. Why?
Is it because you see
that I'm soft,
and gentle,
but more of a man,
than you've ever seen?
Or maybe you can't
comprehend what's
in between?

When I read my poem
about my mom, I looked around
at everybody in the classroom,
and your head was down.

That showed me
you're weak to emotion
and have been sheltered.
My goal was clear:
I knew I wanted
to help her.

Expose you to this world,
and show you love,
I suppose you're
like a dove
Peaceful, and pure
with style,
But innocent too so
this could take a while...

Me being impatient,
won't get to you quicker
But the longer it takes,
only makes me sicker.

Then came this
irking feeling
when I thought
of something:

What if me
meeting you
ended as "we"
being nothing.

I hope that's not true,
so I'll just end with this.
It's a pleasure to know you,
and also to write this.

Love, Jimmy

When blessings are overlooked
Narrow minds remain bitter
Hearts keep quiet and cold
And the mind turns to winter

Fear begins to consume us
Our only option is retreat
Failure and depression rise
Facing the harshness of defeat

Ignorance claims the throne
Loss of morals and lessons
Reality strikes viciously
When you overlook blessings

Resolution has this tendency
To pick at it's victims
With brutal honesty
And at the time
We scream and beg
"Please, not now!"
It's so fascinating
How the truth works
It really is what
We do not want
But always what
We desperately need

In a minute, I figure everything out.
I can't believe they want to do this again.
They're still trying to clean up a mess.
Not to mention there are problems over here.
Do they really think they're International Police.
Do they like being the world's biggest gang?
Do they find enjoyment in world wrestling?
Oh, you didn't know that's what it is?
Surely if you look in the past you can see.
Everytime we enter a region it happens.
They plan to "help reform" but create motives.
These motives keep them from prospering.
So they decide to leave.
Leaving behind death, famine, poverty, and hate.
I hope this stops, I really do.
I made a promise long ago.
I won't point fingers.
I won't say names.
But I don't think I need to.
It's not hard to see.
I've figured it all out.
And you can too.
It's not the world thats bad.
It's them.
They run, but ruin this world.

I never thought that this is what it would be
Mom, I know your proud but if only you could see
What your little boy looks likes like at twenty
Memories stick, and I know you've got plenty
So this one is for you, dad, Katie, and I
Although it didn't work we gave it a try
And after all the times we felt like there was no luck
I can see that we had it perfect now that I'm grown up

If you told me that the life I live now
is what I would become, three years ago,
when I graduated high school...............

Is there no more hope in self?
Surely things have been worse before,
yet you constantly play the role of victim.
A harsh reality we face daily
that consumes those who are weak.

I practice what I preach, though it's not enough.
It can't be- Afterall, you're just not the same.
How could someone like you step in my shoes?
How could you comprehend the struggle and pain?
Should I even bother wasting my time on this game?

Weeks will go by, and you'll ask, "Where is he?"
I won't even be there to answer you,
but if I were, I would say something like this,
"While you moped and sat in misery
I did what I said,
and now I'm making history."

I visualize men sweet talking
to a girl that illuminates innocence.
Beauty encumbers her shell though
making me even want to say a few words.
I continue to watch and admire
as a tool approaches her with the typical:
"Hey babe," as he walks behind her to dance.
She lets him too!
I see the look in her eyes.
She's not enjoying it.
Luckily I'm the DJ tonight
so I switch the heavy based rap jam
to something a little more romantic.
The faces all turn to me confused
and I say this,
"What's wrong y'all?
Did we forget about chivalry?"
She smiles and I know it's my time.
I approach her and look into her eyes
and through my dart:
"Excuse me miss, I couldn't help but
notice how your eyes glow so bright
that these strobe lights have a hard time
competing. Would you care to dance?"
She takes my hand and
we walk to the center of the floor.
We are so isolated because
everyone else, "is too cool."
We put on a marvelous show
holding each other and spinning
with our eyes locked into each other
the entire time.

The knowledge we have
and the courage we contain
is an illusion-
a more accurate title
would be counterfeit wisdom.

When a lie is whispered
it does more damage then intended
Our feelings get hurt
But the whole time we were only protected

The truth is too much
and I wish it wasn't that way
But I'll never forget
the things I learned on that day

From this point on
life is going to be tough
And I cannot quit
when things get rough

That would be easy
and life is the opposite of that
But I really wish
it was the opposite of **THAT

I try to avoid looking in
the rear view mirrors of life
Simply because I know I cannot
go back to that place.

Sure, there were bad times
that I can tell you about.
Times where I didn't even
recognize my own face.

Throughout my youth
I was a humble child
Yet still a human; I had my share
of triumphs and mistakes.

A puzzled world fueled me
to pick up every piece I found.
I collected so many but
important pieces were misplaced.

(I'm sorry because I'm doing
what I'm trying to stop right now
but I have to in order
for you to believe it.)

Anyway, I walked away
for a day to live in the now
and what I found
was the last piece I needed...

GRATITUDE

Something about the feeling
of letting my brain rest
from running on this treadmill
of past, present, and future

showed me a powerful thing
that I never saw before
and that is a vision
of a new earth.

If only you can see you're potential.
Life's not detrimental.
That's just your current mental.
Understand that your health is at risk.
Ignorance is bliss, but not with this.
I want you to quit for you not for me.
Be everything and anything you want to be.
A doctor, a teacher,
an actor, a preacher,
a lawyer, a cartogropher,
a musician, a photographer.
Be stronger, get past it.
Quit being a drug addict.

While walking down Federal
I see two men in an alley shouting
Another man is on the ground
He is bleeding very badly
Statistics say I will run
But I feel like being different today
I feel like being the one who cared
Not practiced at turning my head
Never surrendering in silence
I have seen enough to know
Opportunities are everywhere
And if its an opportunity to do good
You have to take that chance

Less I have to say with criticism
than I do with praise,
for criticism would simply
provoke justification
and resentment.

A sad truth...
                             Sometimes people don't let love in -
       (an even sadder truth)
                                                                 *because they think they don't deserve it...

What a marvelous thing mothers are.
Caring and loving unconditionally.
Sheltering a baby for nine months.
Feeling life grow inside of them
and continuing to love that life
even after it leaves her body.

I look at how many mothers have inspired
I look at how many fathers have left
Maybe that's why we call God,
"the Heavenly Father"
A mother works harder than any other
person to care for her child/children.

As a man, I've learned to understand
that love a mother sends us.
I'm so grateful for everything my
mother has done for me
and I realize, that I'll have to respect them
because I'll never feel what it feels like...
to be a mother


*I would be honored to wish all the
mothers a splendid Mother's Day and
may God continue to bless you with his love

"*******! You've never cared."
I believe were the words she chose
every so carefully
digging through her arsenal
of piercing rocks.

"She didn't mean that dad."
I know these were the words I chose
because I've chosen them before
when this happened
last time.

"She's right..."
are the words he chose
as he begins to shatter
from the rocks
she threw.

A man whose made of glass
could shatter into a million pieces
just by stumbling.
But it's usually the words we throw
that impact a very fragile situation...

cha-Ching
Breakfast, coffee, cigarettes
"Hello, how are you doing today?"
Scan errors, frustration, metric conversions
"I need 4 loads of steel"
Create order, print bills, distribute
"I'm ready to eat"
Big Mac, large fries, Coca-Cola
"Half way done..."
Measurements, storage, handling
"Two more loads of steel"
Create orders, print bills, distribute
"**** I need a drink"
Cha-ching

We want to reach the top
The top of the mountain
And when we get there
We sip from the fountain

We will sit at the top
Sit for quite a while
Reminiscing and wishing
We can go back to the wild

We will think at the top
Think deeply and pretend
That we can stay here
But we have to descend

We will change at the top
Change, but good change
Acknowledging God's plan
To scale the entire range

The first thing you need to know is this:

DUE TO NON-PAYMENT YOUR
ELECTRIC WILL BE SHUT OFF

Those were the words I read as my
heart sank and my mind launched
into a universe of possibilities.

How long will the lights be out?
How will I shower in the dark?
Should I throw all of my food out?
Let me go to the park...

I rolled a joint, got in my car,
and drove to the park with
my music and my journal.

After the joint I started to think.
I looked up, and found no sun.
There you have it; in just a blink
of an eye, the darkness had begun.

*PART 1 COMING SOON

I'll keep praying for you,
even though you don't want me to.
Just because its in your nature to quit,
doesn't mean its in mine.

You say, "we're only put here to die."
There is nothing I can say back
because deep down this thought
always occurs in my mind...

Today I worked
and for eight hours
I served fiends
cups of caffeine

I made food for
six hundred
All were absurd
and didn't say a word

Smoked too many
cigarettes because
I was confused seeing
convenience abused

After work I went home
Very tired I fell asleep
Dreams of work were in my head
I woke up and did it again...